recounts..in time

28-30 dec
it was class cip time...really didn't noe what to expect there at first...all the rumours about noctorious kids...which will make u grab ur hair and stuff...it was kinda anxious reaching there
but all i can say now is that it was totally good..love it actually...
the first day was kinda like adjustment day when we all knew teaching them workshops will just definitely bore them to death and they'll start jumping climbing...screaming...so active k
sing for devotions seems like i was just singing to myself..hardly anyone was payin attention..some laughed..how nice la
second day was much better realised how cute my team kids are..and me and claire are the most slack team leaders around..with only 2 members most of the time..hahas
but i guess they need that specific attention coz u just can't make them sit down..
the games were fun...treasure hunt...soccer which got complicated...
love lunch time...hahas...it was the kids' time to eat and of course my turn to...was so tired and hungry by then
i did that "deep deep down down" action in front of all of them...the gals pointed and giggled madly...
i was called jie jie which i dun understand why...i dun even noe them well..but i got used to it
debbie became kor kor instead...=P
third day
best day...watched incredibles..chewed on cookies..yum...and wrote cards for the kids in my team...cute WJ and Rich..
miss them though..
x mas party was a feast...so much as though we're having buffet la...make me feel hungry thinking bout it
got pinched bout a super loud gal who constantly disturb and shook my chair during lunch like as though there was an earthquake..hmm but never mind she meant no harm..
left camp early to rush to work..been workin at john little expo for quite some time now
at first it was really dready wakin up so early to take train to the other end of the island..but now got used to it
its hard earning money..dad and mom..haha
been a loner for the past few days...after work just straight home...takeaway lunch on the way
its always so exhaustin though i only work short hours..but all that walking around made me legs muscles cramp like mad...ouch...torture but got to hang on...just 3 more days =)
been thinking about several issues that i knew i got to make choices and decisions in
church moved to expo..just returned from pm..was great to feel God's presence so strongly..reminding me that i am going on the next level..and that he is always with me
easier said than done..are many things...
i m truthfully tired....in all areas..
thoughts of just giving in..and whether it was all worth while just kept popping in my mind
need to get it all off...i'll find back that first love for Him
know next year won't be any easier or perharps much tougher year to come...balancing all that i have now aren't simple..i really need God
ARRH...how irritating sometimes
i know i am not serving for the sake of just doing it or to show it to others
but all that commitments..just drive so tensed up always...
sick i feel...only he can solve all these for me now...
i dun wanna screw up next year like i did now...
can't afford to
haiz
will someone understand?..maybe?...i have deprived my family severly of time that i spent with them
constantly out doing this and that..it never ends
i know i still love God
but i got to sort it out asap
dun wanna do anything to please anyone
reason why i love God?
because he's real to me..i can see him but i can feel his existence..
how he gave my life a purpose..how he was there for me when the world seems to be collapsing
who else can do that tell me?
who can assure you of a tomorrow that is in his control
its just that simple
no point saying ba
"i am not promising things that i know will not turn out right....i want it to be true and to last"
"its my fault...i lead it on..when i know i shouldn't...i am just gross out at what i do"
its selfish..but rather than hurting anyone
i am fine