DREAD

yeah...todae's is sorta the last day for school term...time really flies super fast...
todae's kinda more relaxing i guess..
we had lots of laugh of ikea...karmen really have bull strength..hahas
desperately need lots of sleep now..but i just can't afford to coz there's just so much to do...
STRESSED!!really hate that feeling
my head's spinning like mad..i try to look relax on the outside but i can't seem to hide the tense inside....i feel so li bu cong xing in my studies...need to devote much more time to revise or else my promos will end up no where
breakaway from all these
i need to stop questioning and doubting
ARHHHH
God i can't do this alone..i need you..please guide the path in front of me..
light the way...comfort me to let me know that i m not going through this alone
let my heart have faith and trust in you fully
no matter wat no matter when no matter why
that's my first love to your Lord
i live for u
=)

can't sleep

dun noe what i am doing here..but just can't leave like tt..hahas
can't wait for wed to come..going to climb fence or dig underground to go back to fairfield..and stay there forever...i wish..
haha..but its rare to meet all the teachers who did so much for students like me...arrHH..
the memories are all flowing through my mind..well..=P
i need to do pw..NOWW
sometimes i wonder how i survive the days not finishing tutorials...
i need to study smart..
really need to make a decision bout something...which's making me think alot..and God's prompting me to make a change..
yup...shall pray and seek his guidance..no more "i feel like doing this i do" days
gettin sleepy now..=)

I've found mine...have you?

yeah..term 3 is coming to an end..finallly...
really enjoyed the weekend without realizing that i actually got lots and lots of hw..
but well leave tt for later...
fri was service...pst preached a great msg that i thk was really for me..
7 things to hindering God's destiny in my life
1) Unteachable spirit- when we think that we know and can do everything with our own strength
2) Unfulfilled promises-when we promise God...we either make sure we do it or not make a vow
3) Unforgiveness
4) Unwise association-when u're too close to someone that probably do not have the same faith as u...
5) Untamed tongue (didn't catch the exact thing coz the phrase sounded so chem) but i guess its just to watch wat u say
6)Undeveloped gifts
7) Undecisive heart
yeah..i got no idea why i typed it all out..but i guess it awoken me from my lost period..so maybe it'll encourage u =)
was so tired on fri i dropped dead when i reach home..
sat was fun..went out to town to get my shirt...aft walking for so long...
todae was cell group dae....thk sun morning is a superbly gd time to have cell..like real fresh and awake...
many times pple will question our faith ba..but i guess the most important thing is that we muz not waver on the inside no matter how bad pple try to pull u down..
hang on..and ur breakthrough is near...=)
" for u alone deserve all glory, for u alone deserve all praise, father we love u and we worship u this day"
=)

When everything else doesn't really matter

had a long weekend at NTU..which i didn't complete the story...but come to think of it..i still think camp ideapolis is real cool..=)
at first signed not knowing wat's going...onlu know it might look good on my portfolio...but within that two days....i learnt so much..how to survive lectures which doesn't seem applicable...hearing different high position business pple talk...explore how gloomy NTU can be..and how huge it is..we pratically ran from place to place..hahas..
the food was fantastic..yeah..lots of food for every meal..seems unbelievable at first..or should i say scary..hahas...but tea time is the best...there's coffee and banana slices..haha
hmm...didn't contribute much at first to brainstorming...felt bad..so decided to play a part in the presentation ba...was so nervous that my voice seem to shake..haiz..
but aft it..we got through preliminary and finals..
rmb how i sat there during the finals just praying and like trusting that God will have the results in his hands...
Yup..and he never fail to hear my prayers...=)
think most of the prize will go to saving and Arise and Build..praise God..he really lead me through the times that my pocket seem to threaten to be empty...he just provide a bridge across the path that seem to lead off the cliff...
havin NAPFA tml..muz pass!
been so routined by wat life got to offer..need something different..lookin forward to service daily..seriously..i now understand wat it meant to hope in the Lord alone everyday..yeah =)
everything's changed
miss the old days...and can't wait to be back to fairfield...and will get to meet up with jem,joseph and john.....=)
"my soul cries out for more of u my Lord, my portion and hope.
i close my eyes and feel u near, there's nobody else that can take your place in my heart"

NTU_CRAZE

been stuck at NTU for the last two days for the ideopolis camp!!!hmm....though it takes the whole day....like 10am to 8am...some parts of it have been quite fun...

worn totally out

i am dying of fatigue...feel like giving up..

change.change.change

my mind's been spinning round and round, i feel so uneasy inside...and my face is sour like no one's business..
felt real tired due to lack of sleep todae....felt even more sick aft maths and econs, first i can't seem to prove for the test..got discouraged once again..that's not the end..econs i just passed
feel so freaked out and can't help but wonder how come my grades are deterioating so much
so helpless at times....God help!!!
been very sensitive to the things happening around me nowadays
my head hurts
thank God for being there for me...I am moving...first time since i was born at the place i am living in now...though the new place will be kinda far from here but praise God that can get such a good location and a bigger place..which means a bigger room!..hahahs
i need to learn to trust....in these massive storms thats sweeping me off my feet
cell group gonna shift over to service 1...got so surprised at first coz it will just take place over this week...always believe that God has a greater plan for our cell group...we're gonna see revival...really pray that the members will all be able to go for the new service and cg meeting..including the pple that we haven seen for so long..i'll surely miss the ushers that i got to meet in section 10...they're just so nice...though starting all over doesn't really seem so nice..but i never know...it might be even better...will treasure the times i spent with 311 pple....and the rest..
joseph..we must still meet on sun ya?..
"the trials and temptations are piling up, i feel weak physically drained emotionally, but God says that he will work things together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to his purpose"
I'll hold on to this promise always...

thanks cheryl for keeping me sane...=)

true worship

haven updated my blog for sometime le...had a very very busy weekend...yup....firstly there was fop at indoor which i ushered for....wasn't really feeling well over the whole week...at first a thought just sprang up telling me not to go...to just rest at home..but i know God stirred me up..to obey him...truly i never regretted going....although support was really long...and ushering really drained me out...i enjoyed the praise and worship....especially the part by hillsong..for such a long time..i never had such a long time just devoted to sink into God's presence and to be grateful for all he's done in my life...
ushering for an external event was a very different experience...people sometimes do not regard ushers as there to serve God's people and were kinda rude..yup..but after all we're there for God alone =)
overjoyed that huiling, mandy, brandon and jade came on sat....at first all the queues were super confusing..but in the end they still met meifeng and the rest..ahahs...yeah..so glad u all came...pray that God spoke to each of u in a special way
reached home at 12.15am like tt on sat...but super energetic...read the bible till bout 2am..then went to sleep..and woke up at 6am...amazed that i could get up
and off to chc's anniversary...oh....loved the atmosphere of church..yeah..many of the cell group members were not around though...ushered at the same place..north balcony!but got used to it..and prefer serving there now..
during service...many time..i nearly wanted to fall asleep..but thank God that he gave me strength to last through it...the cell group went off to suntec's sky garden in the end...we bought bk,macs,yong tau fu,spring chicken,kfc, choc milk...having a feast at the sky garden..the weather was hot though..and i got super embarrassed to find out that my pants got a small tear...ARHH!!
by sun..i was really drained physically...just kept taking naps on mon...couldn't even sit down to do work or anything.....super frustrated with that =(
"many times i felt like giving up running this race, many times my wings got sore and i just dipped to hit the cold ground, i seriously don't know what tomorrow will hold, how will i survive the next day"
but i always remember God says "those who hope in me shall renew their strength, they shall soar with wings like eagles"...wat a comforting verse that my hope is in Christ
got to pray bout my commitment for usher ministry...felt half hearted at times..and the ic isn't making things easier for me...
problems seem to come in a flow..the family financial prob is starting to seem alarming..dad's staying at home much longer..at times i wanna break down to cry..but i can't...i don't blame anyone, anything...
i have God by my side..i'll live my life to the fullest and happiest
todae we had cell group outreach..didn't start too well..i expected that when i send that msg, i'll get that reply....that i'll take the responsibility
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
enough of sad or problems...i'll look to the bright side of things....we had fun pouring water into each other's cup when the water landed on my nose or someone's face...we flipped coins..and tried scooping mentos out of flour...i was a little greedy..was thinking to take one to eat..hahas
thanks jt, issac, meifeng, keenan, darrell...it was fun to take part in todae's games with u all..
i love you Lord..no matter what
happy national day!!!=)

its Fairfield!

last sat was fairfield's founder's day!!!hahas....its like i still remember how last year when we graduated and we complained that founder's day is all the way in august..but wow..time just flies till august...its like i was running around in the canteen...touring the school during recess..having our guys talk in a round red table...rushing wif my frenz to be first in the queue for chinese food or western food...how we fall in love wif malay food...how we laugh at each other when something ungraceful happen..life's truly interesting =)
felt a little awkward sitting alone in front with all the other book prize winners..think i under-dressed le..hahas..like was comparing this and that...and the service was just great...to be able to see so much people in that all familiar YELLOW uniform..hee...the 4 years are the one that left the deepest impression in my heart....even as mr lim sang "now may all come behind us find us faithful, may our fire of our devotion light their way, may the footprints that we made, inspire us to believe" tears seem to like welled up...maybe i am too emotional..
miss the environment so much..the school seem to be filled with lots of verses and letters when last year the principal told us that our school fund couldn't afford it yet..the field feel super restricted and caged
feel so honoured to get a book prize...like never had the chance..and somemore its chinese..the subject that i like..hahas..wierd me..
after the service...the whole class went to bukit timah pizza hut...a rare outing..but a happy one...
ate alot..the new pizza with overflowing cheese crusts is so delicious....but it cost a bomb to me ba..time to save even more
after the whole dinner..it was time to say goodbye...like a little reluctant though i know all of us has already move on in life...='(
we had TOT aft that...aft squeezing 5 pple into one cab...that make the day end so nicely...
i realize how true and real the friends are beside me and i am never alone...yeah
sunday..just continued the weekend with such a breakthrough for me..feel so blessed to have rev mike around...can see that many members are set free through this incident..that its time to stop circling that mountains or problems..but to go straight to solve it...many pple are just walkin aimlessly round their mountain..praise God that u are relevant and u changed my life =)
and to whoever that is so concern to keep taggin insults on my tagboard..if its really u....i don't see what has i done to cause such a strong reaction..if its the past..i apologise..but time has since long pass and u urself have move on so much le..is there a need to still hurl such words at me...?
irritating...
"i live for God alone"
i am choosing the path to stay single coz God is the only one that i wanna devote my time to now..