SHIFTED:

greywhiteblack.tumblr.com

time to bid farewell to blogspot.

it shall remain as the faithful storage of good memories.

the unusual sunday afternoon.

Train journeys serve as important pitstops in life.

Quiet, reflective moments after a day's hustle and bustle.

The soft mood of the commuters, yearning to be back in the comfort of their homes is evident.

Leads me to ask what was my persistence for?

Do I already know the end result, or am I just too narrow in my vision.

Perhaps I should take the initiative.

With the 20 pages reading assignment at the back of my mind.

This sem seems to begin with a very different atmosphere.

Guess that a year in school has shaped my perceptions n values in a certain manner.

Feels like I have grown up to take on something more.

Keep the fire burning.

the very much needed shaking.

to shake out what should leave and strengthen those that stayed thru it all.

am figuring the way out of this thick fog with no clear directions ahead

we don't deserve it.

i am absolutely certain.

it will be long before i would be able to look up to and acknowledge as it is.

what is more important? the truth of the matter or the people who are involved.

are we not of more value than words.

let the one that is faultless be the first to judge.

increase my wisdom, break me down.

for without, its impossible to go on.

said a prayer today.

pls support! (free advert for friend)

papier-kleed.livejournal.com

school has unofficially begun. the need for adjustment to sudden hectic lifestyle and coping with the lack of sleep.

especially when the group seems a lot more talented and capable, my own limits are being stretched mentally. (even before class officially start)

learnt today that we often look out for our very own needs through our day to day interactions with the people around us. and many times, being so ignorant to our own actions and the consequences. 

we end up getting hurt by our very own actions.

are my needs driving me to becoming more self centered?

its so easy to lose our focus while travelling.
keep a picture of the final destination by our side.

rather stray for awhile longer then never be able to get there.

and yes, the poor service by Starhub, delaying the request repeatedly has left me with the buggy windows mobile phone (restarting twice a day and i can dump it right now) here to haunt me for a few more days (hopefully).

blogger is acting up again. perhaps its time to change to tumblr or something more intuitive.

been feeling like i am living on the edge. getting easily irritable, and hoping to interact lesser with others.

brings me back to the point that blind compliance is not commitment. actions speak louder than words, knowingly or unknowingly. we often allow words to just replace all the necessary actions.

it is tedious to go on being aware of how imperfect people can be. are we just watching life go by without questioning the purpose.

the love would not sustain without the required intervention, without one that we can actually call friend.

the much needed change.

simple things, where have you gone.

guys' tees for sale

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22 bucks each.

leave a comment if you're interested :)

leopard prints anyone?

Sydney's demonstration of a vibrant arts scene.

being back to work, just brings to my mind the fact private time is really very much treasured.

but with the consideration that i can just expect free lunches to show up, or for the matter of the fact.

rely even more on parents.

the irony of working to improve lives. guess that's where the balance comes in.

many times, or rather most of the times. 

bad things happen at the most unexpected timings, and they come one after another.

saying trust is simple. 

not looking fwd to tml, other than the fact i can dress down.

words unspoken, and emotions unexpressed.

history do not need to repeat itself to prove its point.

come back down to earth and acknowledge the reality of the current scenario.

make the choice today.

a note for celebration.

and just really grateful for the provision.

now it's back to formal wear for work. (not counting the fact that i spent even before starting work)

and the ever so messed up deferment.

can only say that the past two weeks had been just the best rest i've ever had.

for a really long while.

would have been better if i could sleep lesser, and actually spend some time on the 'creative' stuff.

annnddd the marina bay sands resort is apparently rather famous.

well, with such views, it does deserve an applause.

(copyright: reuters)

thru this week, realized how certain people and things would change with time.

and many times, our perception now is so different. then say a year back.

but the truth being, we all cling all to various aspects of the past.

not that memories aint precious, but sometimes moving forward is the better and only way.

i've gotta be clear bout it myself.

a pure heart, that's what i long for.

the past few days spent to seek after His presence.

what can be more important than to get right within.

to see things thru His eyes once again.

i understood how weak I am, with my own strength.

it doesn't matter if the things on the agenda aint met.

what matters is i am standing right.

now with a clearer vision, i am able to seek the right directions.

ever so grateful for the grace and mercy.

looking fwd to a fulfilling day catching up on sketch, aki books and what not.

side note : had a great dinner at a pleasant little cafe  KICHN at albert hotel.

back from a rather fulfilling trip. 

am reminded that the possibility of such a trip diminishes when we grow older, with school getting busier by the day. and before we all know it. work sets in and it will be no return.

truly treasure the opportunity to just spend time out with some pals, to just wander around.

willing to risk getting lost, which we did indeed throughout the trip.

(which the yellow vehicles always come in handy, being typical singaporeans)

its the fifth time back there, and i guess its time for something new.

though there's something nostalgic there, and perhaps i just wish for some form of controlled chaos of life. not a place where everything is pretty much ordered, and to a certain degree lack of human expression.(which isn't something out rightly negative)

but thru this trip, did see that form of emptiness that existed in the hearts of pple.

maybe it was just something that all city dwellers would experience.

in conclusion, thank God for his provision and protection thru it all.

excited bout the things that are about to come.

including finding a new job. haha.

had dinner with zak before he heads soon to ulu pandan tekong.

if he's ever reading this. do hope you take care and have fun there!

yes, it's possible to make some fun out of that mundane life. look forward to first book out!

body's feeling the heat of late night, and lack of consideration for a proper diet. been eating all kinds of junk and finally the body reached it's threshold.

terrible feeling, felt so helpless. just so thankful i wasnt alone.

coming week looms with all the most significant events of this month or even first half of the year.

please let me be well enough for ippt on wed.

and let AC be such a fulfilling time :)

is the dream all worth the sacrifice.

in the pursue of something, a goal, an ambition.

a hope for a change.

but along the way, we'll get tripped over. fall flat in our faces

slightly bruised, start crying perhaps.

the strong desire to just throw in the towel.

only know at such times, i seek no personal advices from anyone.

but just pray.

remind myself what is the promise.

even if it tarry, it will surely come to pass.

after yesterday's criticism about my model in comparison with the rest.

i do know there's lots of room for improvement.

the effort (which i previously thought was great) is still insufficient.

not that looking forward to the release of results, just trusting for a chance to advance.

keep trying. again and again. and again.

Checklist for today:

1) Redo model for sunday

2) Pulpit design model

3) Portfolio

4) Sleep

focus and get moving.

certain this is the final lousy week.

i know i shouldn't be doing this right now.

but today was just not going right, and perhaps writing this will help me to focus once again.

had the first paper on climate, and it was sincerely.

nothing short of a nightmare.

fifteen minutes for the last 2 out of 5 questions aint a joke.

can't draw without trembling.

haha.

well. at least it's over. 

and yes, learning not to regret.

there are some lessons learnt unknowingly.
learn to say no, even if it offends inevitably.

3 more days!

been spending most of the days revising, and most of it alone.

kinda like how peaceful those times are.

not because of the content that i'm studying

but life can now move along at a gentle pace, allowing me to see and appreciate all that is going on.

inadequate time for revision (one semester's work in a week is no easy feat, nearing impossibility)

leaning on His provision and trusting that all will work out good.

we visualize and then realize our future and the outcomes of situations, so let's start all that on a positive note.

 

i wish i wasn't introduced to all these.

its past midnight.

having class 95 for company. somehow the combination of songs is rather comforting and pleasant to the ears.

cant speak the same for the work that i've to do. no progress, rather i'm just disturbed with all the untouched revision.

the past few days has been just dedicated to recharging. truly in all aspects.

despite risking the fact of getting stoned by school friends.

it was worth it.

dun ever forget or lose all that i've learnt and gain.

pst is definitely leading by example and a real inspiration. :)

finally. one day without hearing about the word EXHIBITION.

acm, panels and what not.

the whole preparation is definitely taking a toll on the whole team.

just praying everything will fall in place smoothly and the exhibition a success.

what we reinforces and build upon, will grow inevitably.

let us be building up positive and Godly traits.

after repeated encounters with failures and obstacles, things would definitely seem rather helpless.

and that's probably the most tempting time to just throw in the towel, and attempt to convince oneself that you would excel better in some other aspect.

just reminded that it will always be insufficient if i try to live using my own strength, relying on my own abilities. it seems now that it's just struggling to stay afloat.

learn to depend on His strength, and realize that all that you've been doing is not a given.

i will never have chosen this path without first taking the first step to trust.

'where would i be today, without you?'

every extra day is a bonus, every new opportunity an added blessing.

learning to treasure all that i have been given.

'hope does not disappoint'

this is one of the only rare moments when i can just take my time to slowly read blogs, realized some mysteriously shifted and actually be surprised that there are some people whom i have yet to meet for months.

thank htc for actually offering an upgrade over the net, and allow me to spend this spare time reading blogs.

over dinner, was just kinda struck with the fact that after one whole round, there are just some things that will remain. some people or issues that might seem so significant at that point in time, boy oh boy, further down the road. it doesn't seem to matter at all.

looking at all the secondary school kids hanging round orchard road is probably one clear reminder that we've all grown out of that era and face it. we're moving on to a new world.

choices are difficult, but not making any aint gonna benefit as well.

time to seek Godly wisdom and make the most appropriate choice.

simplicity in white. common but yet intriguing

it's been awhile since i've visited this space.
guess twitter has that function of convenience that deters me from even thinking bout blogging
anyway.
school's been as per normal - way way hectic.
but somehow this time round, i felt less panicky or worried bout the different projects.

that doesnt mean that the projects were smooth sailing, but rather issues kept arising one after and another.

kinda sucked into the regime of going home at the first bus in the morning (gasps at the fact the first 96 comes at 7.15am) and coming back to school at late evenings.

praise the Lord aki construction is out of the way for year one.
group projects are indeed more tricky than the obvious benefit of having more hands to help.
how should i put it across
we're just human beings with very strong individualistic idea

am excited at the chance given in children church.
the challenge and opportunity that is presented.
cant explain how grateful and how it reassure my direction.

time for even greater expansion.
exciting :)

felt the strain so strongly today.
screaming quietly even as i rushed my way to give tuition.
it will be so great if i can just depend solely on allowance. blah blah
and other ranting and excuses.

with all the deadlines for submisson all lined up one after another.

even before my body give way, i am halfway down in the realm of the mind.
train rides have become the only time i can take my mind off work or anything else.
this semester is indeed much tougher that i've ever imagined.
and this is proven by the no of times i've tasted fong seng prata and maggi gorengs.

supper at fong seng is no longer something i will look forward to.

am thankful that i am still well and have not fallen sick despite all the continuous late nights.
being grateful can slowly neutralise all the complains and rants, and turn each stressful circumstances into a deeper chance to acknowledge and appreciate the things & people around.

i cant mistake kindness and closeness for something else.
always falling at the same spot and that shouldnt be the case.
not turning back either.

till the end of march. examinations seem much more exciting than projects.

one. two. three and four............
and the list goes on.
school projects all cluttered together, with humanly-impossible deadlines to meet.
totally cant predict or plan my schedule.
the weariness sets in.
coupled with the nonchalance - which i feel is really not necessary.
make it seem like it's just about the attendance.

this week will come to an end eventually.
till then.

melaka. and it's old rustic feel.

the pristine white beach and the blue waves.
spells relaxation and definitely makes me look forward to the break.
well, do sincerely hope i will really end up there then.

it's the second day of chinese new year, and my mood is already dampened by project and the upcoming malacca.
they sure know how to squeeze us dry even during recess week.
recess - a short break before u embark on something bigger.

anyway it is the usual catching up with family, but i've learnt to treasure those supposedly repetitive moments.
a simple chat and a 'how are you?' meant so more now.
guess that's the case when there just doesn't seem to be enough personal time.

i m blessed. constantly reminding myself of that.
faced with a junction, refusing to take a turn.
never trust the intuition.

shall continue the story when i am back from malacca.

my dream bathroom....basin.
full horizontal mirror. classic.

dropped my dearest macbook twice in a row, seriously.
about to lose my mind.

another packed weekend,
believing the breakthrough is near!

cool aluminum chair!
read more at:
http://www.designboom.com/weblog/cat/8/view/8851/ran-amitai-natureofmaterial.html

the change. the pressure of school. and the realization of the things that are concealed

very often we do not understand many truths of life until we're faced with a huge obstacle or going thru an extended duration of trial.
the irony of situation, the sharpening of the details of the mind as the path ahead gets a little blurry and hazy.

perhaps its the change of environment that is posing a new challenge to my thinking, or its the most optimal time for a reminder to press on for a higher goal.

i do not know.

but the word TRUST keeps appearing and i can reckon that it has the very answer and significance.

physically low on battery and charging up on the inside.

ok body's aching all over even as i tortured it during the failed attempt at ippt last sat.

someone reminded me that it's easier to say that i am walking in the right direction, but yet in actual fact it is leading anywhere except the right path.
the first mistake's forgiven, the second to let it pass, but with a third forth and fifth.
what does it speak of yourself?
words speak louder than actions.

let's just believe we're all working hard and in due time we'll be given the well deserve rest.

forgive me if all that were mentioned sound incoherent, mind's not working at its best condition.

anyway, chinese new year is coming :)
and i m praying that my bro is going to make into ac.

was just glancing at the blogger main page.
and realized this is the 300th post.

woah.
this blog has sure come a long way. (just by looking at the content of the entries)

getting a lil tired of sketching n work, decided to take a breather.
work has been hectic, but yet fulfilling at the same time.
it cant really be put into words entirely
i mean who in the right frame of mind would wish to have sleepless nights and work endlessly.
but at the end of every project, when i look back.

i know i've learnt n accomplish that much. and how much grace He has shown.
reminds of the message that was preached about how someone who has the greater void within (or with the bigger, greater sins) would end up yearning more for God as compared to someone else who've committed the minor mistakes in life.

oh yes, and the recess weekend after cny is going to be spent in malacca.
indeed something to look forward, ok perhaps not so much bout doing studio work.

one last night before i'm officially released from the curse of the museum.

most interesting note of the day:
I accidentally 'stole' a menu from a thai restaurant after dining there for lunch. fantastic.
a new item for collection.

the tenth day of the year.

beholding many things and while time unravels much.

really thankful that I still manage to secure the tuition job, though not the most ideal but still very needed.
being able to teach has become something so simple but yet inspiring at the same time.

come to the realization yet again that most of what u expect will usually not come to past. yet we must still hold on to new hopes and dreams to keep ourselves going.

it is better to die than to live a day hopeless.

habits do not change, if the person is still at square one.

i don't know whether it's me or it's just the start of the year.
but things that had been happening were all somewhat screwed up in its order, like as if everything's been pre-planned to test the focus.
as if it is trying to preempt something.

FOCUS
deja vu of the word.

stop attempting to go by living on my own strength, and getting stuck in frustration.
time to pray and seek for revelation.
walk closer with Him in 2010.

2010 - the brand new year awaits!
i am excited.
Thank God for all the provision in 2009 and the grace that kept me going through all the darkest moments.
can't do everything without Him.

many things can be spoken, but yet remains as it.
the test of the attitude, patience and even trust.
stand up for what's right, even if it means losing your position.
action speaks louder than word.

a challenging semester awaits (think about endless sleepless nights, early morning lectures and mind gripping critiques)
time to focus.