turning left, turning right.have i moved on?

today was my first day of a supposedly long week of off..and ahem...self applied leave
thought it would be real gd..like hey i m out of camp and its time to catch up with friends
but ended up..i m left stunned and not knowing what's wrong
been feeling a little lost nowadays..
like as if i am not in control of my world..like things just happen and pass me by..without me knowing
cant seem to focus on getting everything done..end up..i screwed it all
all this just led me to becoming more frustrated..
and it doesn't help when friends just dun understand..
PLEASE..i gotta let my YES be a YES, and of course a NO be a NO
never anything in between
i need to get my priorities right
tired
maybe all this will change when i serve till that fateful day
but now i cant stay this way
no matter what..still looking forward to the next 3 days..party a little..let my hair if any down.
n i cant DOTA for nuts..i need lessons for dummies like right now
people in the past seem to fade in my memory
somehow like i actually dun know them well..
people in the present makes me assured
but yet things in the future are uncertain