shoutout

i hope u all understand...its really that my mind is going on it..but my body is physically breaking down

cycle of depression

whenever i tell myself i can do it..
it just seem so tough
so not the way i want things to end
even as i listen to some emo song on my com
my heart sinks
is there a purpose to all this..what would i learn after all these?
haa..perhaps..endurance for lack of sleep and having a tolerating spirit to other's plain demoralizing comments and a struggle to keep up with a hectic plain idiotic schedule
tell me why do such people exists and such darn meaningless crap have to be carried out
i miss life
i know i cannot stay like this..
He who's in Him is greater than he who's in this world.
i always know














four random faces:)
there's something more

what am i doing exactly?

woke up real early this morning..around 4 am.. kinda looking forward to be going for my first driving course put aside all the inconvenience it brings..like waking up freak early...to take first train to bedok.. having my sat half day burnt....just to complete the whole course...especially when that removes completely my chance to serve in children church tuition with the kids that never failed to cheer up my lowest morale day but who would expect it to bring me even lower.. all the images and expectations of a real bike course.. became more like a terror to me now my body's falling to scrape across the dark cold floor not that i don't wanna face it positively or that i am not prepared enough days in old camp sure prepared me enough knowing that your everyday schedule is just to rush n scramble to complete all the preplanned tasks, given by some 'higher authority' that claims to know best but knows heck how the man feel, that serve to cram every single crap theory n practical lessons into a maximum 12 hours a day.. and the supposedly relaxed paced learning course..became some budget "i throw u lessons n skills...u better pick them up or u'll just stay back n learn till u scrape through" that sucks.. what am i doing now?...should i just watch while the world passes by? its really a struggle to respect authority..especially there's plainly nothing to respect them about just that God placed them over me.. ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
how could such inhumane n sadistic people exists on this earth i don't mind training hard n sweating it out...but the bare minimum those guys could do is to treat us like normal human being with a heart that beats n motivate us to work hard..not use force, threats of burning free time, extra duties..cleaning toilets.. save me.

my old life

my special sun

yawns
for a first time i started crawling out of bed at like 10am or so..
haha:)
feels different
yesterday's FOP was just wow wow...felt that the atmosphere broke through the dullness and receptiveness of past years
spent whole morning starching uniform in case i get barked to death next week..
then off i go..
to bras basah to buy all that i've been wanting to get for months..
the new korean-english dictionary is a definite good buy..
though i m pretty empty in the pocket right now
appreciate time out with my brother lots..:)
ok now time to save up for a mp3...can i like get promoted quick..
i m desperately struggling to not spend all my allowance
















pretty thing!





God please help me to guard my heart..now that i m set free to decide what i wish to do next in my life..
let it not be just me in the decision making..but let everything be for u and that i would follow coz i choose to..:)
there are just some that placed themselves in position for failure but apparently refuse to admit that..oh just let them be