shedding some light

school todae seem really very different from the ordinary...
much nicer i guess
but indeed i have come to my senses not to trust in many things or people that i see
yeah..i did felt like why would events all twist to show the fact that it is tough to read a person's mind or to even ascertain that the person is my good and true friend
some points that i learnt in last sun's sermon that can never be more real to me than now
1) Friends create faith, not fear. They just brightens up your life
2) Friends strengthen my walk with God
3) Friends celebrate my victory and we'll rejoice together with each other during someone's victory
4) Friends equip me with my future

couldn't really relate all these points till this day
it all seem so real
i know i am partially at fault for not asking earlier to clear up all the doubts
or even inducing u to feel that its true
so that we can just share our lives openly
if you really feel that i am jealous about your relations
there's nothing much for me to say or try to explain myself
the only thing i know i regard u as a good friend...seriously

everything seems to be changing and events turning out more sour than before
losing my motivation to go school or even listen to lectures..
nothing's really going in
but its time to clean up the mess...pack my bag and set off to go
i'll not fall back into such things even again..with God's guidance..

mei gui lou aka ROSE MANSION

mei gui lou
home to 3 shanghai most famous and pretty dancers...
that was how the whole story started
hahas..in case u think that i m talking rubbish..
this is 2SD2 infamous haunted house...which we are all very proud of..
looking back at the numerous times we all stayed back in school to prepare materials..
sweat it out..and bleed it out literally
our class just held each other throughout the happy funny...and as well as the tough periods
its just perfect
hahas...and the day came just as expected
fun o rama 18th...
first time i slept little knowing that i am going to have a super duper exhausting day ahead
at first...i was really nervous and anxious about the whole thing
the teachers did a first trial and suggested my dressroom to change my script and all
a little upsetting and last minute..and syl suggested me crawling...which left some big marks on my legs though
she screamed when i just did my first trial..so i knew that was the way to go =P
met all sorts of visitors throughout the whole day
so i can classify them as 3 different groups
1) the boys....can be a freak irritated bunch that made me wanna bite them if i can coz they just can't admit if they're frightened
2) the mixed group...with the girls screaming when the guys poke fun at them
3) the all girls kind...easiest to freak out
hahas...the whole day was really fun filled...not that pleasurable but we enjoyed or maybe its just me started loving to scared people as much as i can
thanks all the 3 dancers....the altar guy...the toilet mandy liz....tunnel...jeanette aud...
kitchen...jade marianne....dressing rm..me...hl and karmen...exit..debs and jol
u all are the greatest most amazing bunch of classmates
plus the tour guides..and publicity pple...OMs..weihan..mh..alvin..and also claire who constantly help to arrange timing..christine...brandon..
thanks dad and mom..brothers..and my grandma...she qualify for the fearless women award...haha
issac and gang...mao san and ks..who disturbed my long hair

although i got really big blue blacks...cuts all over..it hurts really but i feel i done to the best i could for my role...it was all worthwhile
be a MAN, man doesn't go back on their word..and simply leave....dun promise a role if u can't handle....come on MAN!
dun wish to harp on it..but if i dun mention this...i'll get emotion constipation for life...

todae service was really good..
all i know is that God reminded me when i kneel down to pray
and my knee hurts like mad...God said softly to me
"the pain i bear for u is much greater than this"
what a simple phrase with such a deeper meaning
i cried in his presence
God're greater than any problems or hurts in my life
i love u

i can't go on

-personal advisory, its my blog so please give me some space to let it all out, i'll feel better aft-
neglected this for quite some time..so now i am back
obviously.....everything around has been just spinning..SPIN...SPIN...
i lost all directions
hate it this way
school's been just a zombie gathering centre....
tired....FREAKED OUT
you probably don't really understand why i am feeling this way
but its ok
nothing else really matter
if u think i am a serious pessimistic maniac
you're wrong
its really normal to feel this stressed out
saturday just passed like this
current affairs was kinda expectedly hard...i am really not into such things
went for a swim to really slow things a little...been not getting enough sleep
funfair's not exactly exciting now...but we don't have a choice..we have to stick to our promise
things are not the same in church...
came as a shock....that anything can happen to anyone..i probably understand the reason for that choice...
i know i got to tell myself not to give up....its really tough..TOUGH....i dun lie bout that
for now i had enough....its time to spend some time alone..
God you are the only one that can rescue me from all these....i am not going to sink in to quick sand

"Life throws really random tough knots at u to get u in ur way...u tripped...fall...probably bleed or broke a few teeth...but if u're just gonna sit there and cry and complain....nothing good will really come out of it...tell myself all these is not permanent..once i overcome it...i'll not fear the same knots again..and i can tell the larger and more complicated knots..i am all ready for them"

"please God i pray"

i dont have the mood to go anywhere or do something...but this is something i should not follow my heart
i got one more day left...and i only did like 5% of all the work
plus homework...tutorials..tests...hahahahahas
i can only laugh at myself

when will it be all over?