rest and think

hooray...the feeling of holidays just totally great...although there's still alot of commitments and activities in school and church...at least not every day i'll have to crawl out of bed in the morning
todae chinese...was alrite...not too easy...for the first time i can't wait for it to be over..
went ps and later heeren...with the clique pple...
lunch wasn't exactly delicious but liked the bread...still have that strong chessy smell stuck in my throat..
EHHH =(
finally i can have time to pack up my room and throw away stuff no longer needed...before i move...everything's like in a mess now
many different feelings in my mind now...kinda puzzled by the things going on around me..
things that i heard from fairfield bout school now.....seems all so real to me now..
all that temptations to just "fit in"...at the end of the dae...u should ask whether its all worth it?
i would say no..thats why this is just a transition time for me
for many things i can't say that i would not fall back into...
especially relationships
i can reverse things in the past..but things in the future...my future is the consequence of my actions todae..
but now i know...its God thats the one that leads me..
for now all i want is Him..if u truly noe me..u'll get my point..
its sad that many times pple dun understand what i had to go through..all they see is what the other party feels..
many times i actually didn't want that turn of events but when it comes i just got to accept it
i m not having a good time either
all i want is my friends..
ones that inspires me to love God more each dae
all this i pray

the place i let things go

finally...fri came...although i wasn't exactly anticipating for it to come...i know sooner or later i'll have to get it back and accept it..
was super nervous while gettin back each paper one by one...prayed that i'll do alrite for econs and thats the only one i did
felt a little numb as i stare at the grades..econs got a C which is unexpected but my bio was really very badly done..i should start reflecting man
the whole day..most of the pple are just engulfed in this dark dark atmosphere where we just discuss wat subject to drop....how i wish i can keep my 4 subs but now its kinda late to say this
"did i not put in enough effort?....did i just couldn't understand?.....how can i do better?"i was quietly questioning myself...
i think i have been too used to life in Fairfield....its time to wake up to the truth that everything aren't that relaxing and easy anymore....seriously need effort to get results..
pple in the class were just either pleased or severly disappointed...
one year of JC has ended in such a manner...
thank God i pick myself up...
met joseph and john for our usual "dover lunch"
its amazing how they can just make me so relaxed and take my mind of worrying for unnecessary stuff..
great buddies..
anyway...u guys including jem...this is not the end ya?....we will make till the As de...thats for the sd2 pple too
went home to blast the marion raven cd...trying to drown my sorrows in even sader songs...
didn't noe how to ans my parents so just kept quiet in case i create more problems by replying...
sermon was sorta of sent from God...
reminded that God's grace is sufficient for me...and that i can be a pillar in watever situation
2005 has been the most horrible...full of trials and obstacles year of my life i can say..though the year haven even ended...
but i will rmb that everything is in God's hands and i can just fall into his arms to trust Him to hold me on...=)
happy bdae cheryl...at least have a bdae greeting left on my blog
i need friends for a lifetime..thats all i wanted

a day in the sun

todae is cell group outing day....but not everyone finished their exams le..so those who have papers muz jiayou ya?we'll be praying for u....woke up with a bad headache...at first thgt i won't be able to make it le...then yeah...was muz better later on..
but the time i reach...some of them already left to cycle le..so left mx,jt,keenan and darrell...
the most crazy part was when we start to pull each other into the salty waters of siloso beach...
everyone was so afraid of the water..but in the end no one can escape except merrien..not even poor issac...
swam across to the man made rocks thing to just climb up to see the view..that cool windy and yet salty wind just made u loosen up so much =)
i forgotten to bring my towel as i left so hurriedly in the morning...that was not the worse...
jeanie,ms,jt went to play the lugh (is it spelled like that?) wanted to play but i was really broke
met joseph at town later...though i was kinda worn out but it was great...

realize how many things that any friendship can face..u name it..it might take place...at many times it seem so fragile...like how someone can be ur friend for one moment..the next moment when u need help he or she disappear from ur presence..wat friends are that?...
so many things if we can just sit there and think...i can gurantee nothing would happen...
if u feel that things are getting too wishy washy...clear it!do something!
now it the time for me to really get right with God for my friends...the basic building block is trust and being open and honest always....
hey...we muz have another buddies outing again next week...we haven all met together yet
looking for God's guidance and hiding under His wings for comfort =)

i dun know

hey...i think its time for me to revive my dead blog...haven like blog for one whole month...
anyway...there's like so much that happen over this whole month
i m still so glad promos are over....its was just a misery..now i just got to trust Him for the results..i just wanna promote please
truthfully i was totally not in the mood to prepare for the papers......can remember how i can just pause a few min before the paper to think bout stuff...i m out of my mind
its true that this whole year has been like a rollercoaster for me...went through all kinds of ups and downs...God really enlarge my faith even i fall and fail so many times
he's faithful....
now just praying for my aunt,godma....still can't accept that she's a totally different person...its always sad to see my loved ones suffering and gettin hurt
has stop asking why but instead how is God going to work through all these
todae's a crazy day....got the last min msg from john that they're going jem's house..
at first thgt couldn't meet them le....but really glad still manage to in the end
and i can't seem to find that swim trunks that i saw before...oops..not suppose to say that
the four buddies haven met for ages...its like we last went out together last year
that feeling of being just so comfortable and free with them...even crapping or just staring blankly in the air wouldn't matter
i think that's what best friends are...haha
as usual we're up to our usual teasing and laughing at each other..and of coz i m always the target..
we played tennis...i feel totally ashamed of myself aft the whole game..was just busy hitting balls out of the court's fence...=P
soon will be charged by jem
went dinner at town...wasn't that pleasant especially if u have to eat carbon filled fried chicken..now feel sick coz of it...but we dumbly finish most of it...think we're starving madly
hahas...
holidays is meant for family and friends...and to buy new stuff for the new house..yeah
going to spend it to clear up alot of things that been happening...need to be truthful and free =)
cell group beach outing on sat....=)