internal turmoil

so long haven been able to just freely blog..and just not rush to do everything in the weekend
that was how i thought things would be..for this one week off
but perhaps..not all events would be so heart warming and delightful..
always felt that my parents have changed ever since i have gone into army
they now pick on the slightest thing i do
they rather i stay at home and do nothing..than to go out to catch up with friends
i m scolded for wasting my allowances away..when in actual fact..i m paying it from own "hard earned" peanuts allowance..
they wanna be the director of my life..
yet they cant keep promises
though they're adults...they get so uptight and angry so easily..
almost with little or no provoke
they cant admit their own wrong..and kids are suppose to take the blame.
the week off caused so much tension and turmoil...i seriously wanna go back to camp..
even doing push ups and running till i feel like dying dun feel so stressful
i guess at times certain things i said ain't too edifying..i m sorry bout it..
but it seem so challenging just to enjoy a full day of quality time with parents..
everyone is just bickering here there n everywhere
i wanna break free from this...sometimes i dream of just moving away to a faraway place and live my own life..eat what i like..work hard for my own living..haha
or maybe its just the inner rebel showing?..
my mind swirls whenever i think of it..
i m glad God always reminds me to "honor your parents that you may live a long life"
i need to stick to that
please give me the strength n love from above..i m seriously beaten n cant do it on my own
well time for something happier..
emerge is coming!church's annual youth conference..
know that it would be exciting and is definite to build up my spiritual life..
slept pretty late while waiting for my dad to finish using the com..
by then i was too exhausted to even upload any song into my repaired ZEN..
oh ya..went to help out at pos jc..they're doing a wow job..with a strong dance..cool cheer..they really look outstanding..all the jc cluster fight on!