Train journeys serve as important pitstops in life.

Quiet, reflective moments after a day's hustle and bustle.

The soft mood of the commuters, yearning to be back in the comfort of their homes is evident.

Leads me to ask what was my persistence for?

Do I already know the end result, or am I just too narrow in my vision.

Perhaps I should take the initiative.

With the 20 pages reading assignment at the back of my mind.

This sem seems to begin with a very different atmosphere.

Guess that a year in school has shaped my perceptions n values in a certain manner.

Feels like I have grown up to take on something more.

Keep the fire burning.

the very much needed shaking.

to shake out what should leave and strengthen those that stayed thru it all.

am figuring the way out of this thick fog with no clear directions ahead

we don't deserve it.

i am absolutely certain.

it will be long before i would be able to look up to and acknowledge as it is.

what is more important? the truth of the matter or the people who are involved.

are we not of more value than words.

let the one that is faultless be the first to judge.

increase my wisdom, break me down.

for without, its impossible to go on.

said a prayer today.

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school has unofficially begun. the need for adjustment to sudden hectic lifestyle and coping with the lack of sleep.

especially when the group seems a lot more talented and capable, my own limits are being stretched mentally. (even before class officially start)

learnt today that we often look out for our very own needs through our day to day interactions with the people around us. and many times, being so ignorant to our own actions and the consequences. 

we end up getting hurt by our very own actions.

are my needs driving me to becoming more self centered?

its so easy to lose our focus while travelling.
keep a picture of the final destination by our side.

rather stray for awhile longer then never be able to get there.

and yes, the poor service by Starhub, delaying the request repeatedly has left me with the buggy windows mobile phone (restarting twice a day and i can dump it right now) here to haunt me for a few more days (hopefully).

blogger is acting up again. perhaps its time to change to tumblr or something more intuitive.

been feeling like i am living on the edge. getting easily irritable, and hoping to interact lesser with others.

brings me back to the point that blind compliance is not commitment. actions speak louder than words, knowingly or unknowingly. we often allow words to just replace all the necessary actions.

it is tedious to go on being aware of how imperfect people can be. are we just watching life go by without questioning the purpose.

the love would not sustain without the required intervention, without one that we can actually call friend.

the much needed change.

simple things, where have you gone.

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leopard prints anyone?

Sydney's demonstration of a vibrant arts scene.

being back to work, just brings to my mind the fact private time is really very much treasured.

but with the consideration that i can just expect free lunches to show up, or for the matter of the fact.

rely even more on parents.

the irony of working to improve lives. guess that's where the balance comes in.

many times, or rather most of the times. 

bad things happen at the most unexpected timings, and they come one after another.

saying trust is simple. 

not looking fwd to tml, other than the fact i can dress down.

words unspoken, and emotions unexpressed.

history do not need to repeat itself to prove its point.

come back down to earth and acknowledge the reality of the current scenario.

make the choice today.

a note for celebration.

and just really grateful for the provision.

now it's back to formal wear for work. (not counting the fact that i spent even before starting work)

and the ever so messed up deferment.

can only say that the past two weeks had been just the best rest i've ever had.

for a really long while.

would have been better if i could sleep lesser, and actually spend some time on the 'creative' stuff.

annnddd the marina bay sands resort is apparently rather famous.

well, with such views, it does deserve an applause.

(copyright: reuters)

thru this week, realized how certain people and things would change with time.

and many times, our perception now is so different. then say a year back.

but the truth being, we all cling all to various aspects of the past.

not that memories aint precious, but sometimes moving forward is the better and only way.

i've gotta be clear bout it myself.

a pure heart, that's what i long for.

the past few days spent to seek after His presence.

what can be more important than to get right within.

to see things thru His eyes once again.

i understood how weak I am, with my own strength.

it doesn't matter if the things on the agenda aint met.

what matters is i am standing right.

now with a clearer vision, i am able to seek the right directions.

ever so grateful for the grace and mercy.

looking fwd to a fulfilling day catching up on sketch, aki books and what not.

side note : had a great dinner at a pleasant little cafe  KICHN at albert hotel.

back from a rather fulfilling trip. 

am reminded that the possibility of such a trip diminishes when we grow older, with school getting busier by the day. and before we all know it. work sets in and it will be no return.

truly treasure the opportunity to just spend time out with some pals, to just wander around.

willing to risk getting lost, which we did indeed throughout the trip.

(which the yellow vehicles always come in handy, being typical singaporeans)

its the fifth time back there, and i guess its time for something new.

though there's something nostalgic there, and perhaps i just wish for some form of controlled chaos of life. not a place where everything is pretty much ordered, and to a certain degree lack of human expression.(which isn't something out rightly negative)

but thru this trip, did see that form of emptiness that existed in the hearts of pple.

maybe it was just something that all city dwellers would experience.

in conclusion, thank God for his provision and protection thru it all.

excited bout the things that are about to come.

including finding a new job. haha.

had dinner with zak before he heads soon to ulu pandan tekong.

if he's ever reading this. do hope you take care and have fun there!

yes, it's possible to make some fun out of that mundane life. look forward to first book out!

body's feeling the heat of late night, and lack of consideration for a proper diet. been eating all kinds of junk and finally the body reached it's threshold.

terrible feeling, felt so helpless. just so thankful i wasnt alone.

coming week looms with all the most significant events of this month or even first half of the year.

please let me be well enough for ippt on wed.

and let AC be such a fulfilling time :)

is the dream all worth the sacrifice.

in the pursue of something, a goal, an ambition.

a hope for a change.

but along the way, we'll get tripped over. fall flat in our faces

slightly bruised, start crying perhaps.

the strong desire to just throw in the towel.

only know at such times, i seek no personal advices from anyone.

but just pray.

remind myself what is the promise.

even if it tarry, it will surely come to pass.

after yesterday's criticism about my model in comparison with the rest.

i do know there's lots of room for improvement.

the effort (which i previously thought was great) is still insufficient.

not that looking forward to the release of results, just trusting for a chance to advance.

keep trying. again and again. and again.

Checklist for today:

1) Redo model for sunday

2) Pulpit design model

3) Portfolio

4) Sleep

focus and get moving.

certain this is the final lousy week.

i know i shouldn't be doing this right now.

but today was just not going right, and perhaps writing this will help me to focus once again.

had the first paper on climate, and it was sincerely.

nothing short of a nightmare.

fifteen minutes for the last 2 out of 5 questions aint a joke.

can't draw without trembling.

haha.

well. at least it's over. 

and yes, learning not to regret.

there are some lessons learnt unknowingly.
learn to say no, even if it offends inevitably.

3 more days!

been spending most of the days revising, and most of it alone.

kinda like how peaceful those times are.

not because of the content that i'm studying

but life can now move along at a gentle pace, allowing me to see and appreciate all that is going on.

inadequate time for revision (one semester's work in a week is no easy feat, nearing impossibility)

leaning on His provision and trusting that all will work out good.

we visualize and then realize our future and the outcomes of situations, so let's start all that on a positive note.

 

i wish i wasn't introduced to all these.

its past midnight.

having class 95 for company. somehow the combination of songs is rather comforting and pleasant to the ears.

cant speak the same for the work that i've to do. no progress, rather i'm just disturbed with all the untouched revision.

the past few days has been just dedicated to recharging. truly in all aspects.

despite risking the fact of getting stoned by school friends.

it was worth it.

dun ever forget or lose all that i've learnt and gain.

pst is definitely leading by example and a real inspiration. :)

finally. one day without hearing about the word EXHIBITION.

acm, panels and what not.

the whole preparation is definitely taking a toll on the whole team.

just praying everything will fall in place smoothly and the exhibition a success.

what we reinforces and build upon, will grow inevitably.

let us be building up positive and Godly traits.

after repeated encounters with failures and obstacles, things would definitely seem rather helpless.

and that's probably the most tempting time to just throw in the towel, and attempt to convince oneself that you would excel better in some other aspect.

just reminded that it will always be insufficient if i try to live using my own strength, relying on my own abilities. it seems now that it's just struggling to stay afloat.

learn to depend on His strength, and realize that all that you've been doing is not a given.

i will never have chosen this path without first taking the first step to trust.

'where would i be today, without you?'

every extra day is a bonus, every new opportunity an added blessing.

learning to treasure all that i have been given.

'hope does not disappoint'