in just one week, i fell so utterly ill..
spent the whole week home..
fever temperatures so high..i started having weird dreams or hallucinations whenever i managed to fall asleep
oh my..at that point of time.i m just silently shouting out for help and praying for miracle healing
not knowing when it will end.
though it dragged on till today
i m still grateful that He came n rescued me.really.PRAISE GOD!:)
guess this is one life experience i would remember so dearly

"life might not seem all that great and there seems to be no reason to embrace it till life itself is almost taken away"

"so live life and treasure everyday, being healthy and alive is one great miracle and privilege already:)"

another saturday gonna get burnt again...forcing me to miss fun o rama!
kinda frustrated with this schedule..but guess that i can only comply
all my brothers and friends are stuck in the same boat
perhaps when we fly off, things would be easier.

the flu bug's catching up on me
been sneezing almost endlessly since i went church in the morning
darn
but serving for registration is one different but yet good experience
time to build on hr skills
although the days out increased, my mood's been lower
ever since i m always rushing in and out of camp
God please end this whole thing asap
its really draining and messing up our lives
alrite.time to go back soon
can't wait for service on sun!
:)

finally finish watching the film "my girl and i"
really touched by it...the plot can be so simple yet intriguing




















Song hye-gyo real pretty in it..and yeah its kinda backdated to only have watched it now
guess its time to catch up on more Korean films n dramas:)
i m getting so used to just sit in the living room with my laptop..haha.think its becoming a bad habit..even if i have nothing much to go online for.
yesterday was one eventful day, sure beats aimlessly spending one day out in the woods.
headed to jessie's office at raffles place, me n xiaoqian were just overwhelmed by the tall office buildings n all the busy office crowd flooding the train station in a bid to get back home..
so here we were, dressing as we normally do, feeling awkward with people dressed in ties, suits n all kinds of formal attires surrounding us.
but one word i can say about her office was just WOW.
never ever imagined so much creativity n designing could go into a supposedly mundane office with just desks n chairs, computers and what not.
haha..a visual tour.i m inspired.:)
at least i m certain people involved in designing aint gonna starve..haha
then went airport to send becca off to germany.
mixed emotions..but glad she's ready to go..
gonna miss the times that we had spent.
no one to rant to..or to just go for impromptu shopping
so take care over there..n please pick up some german ok.
haha
okie..one n half more day of rest ahead..cheers:)

back for half a day..in an hour i gotta be back
in just a few days ago..everything seem pretty normal
but in a split second, we're all living in this day to day uncertain
aint the nicest way to spend the week..but cant help it i guess
just really praying for that crap to get caught n give me some peace..
a little indignant that i have to spend the weekend rotting away out there
cant even send becca off for her Germany trip...so ya..if she's reading this..
i'll probably give my take care speech here next weekend?so sorry
i need a life out there!

the troopers are finally promoted...it came as a surprise..
perhaps to end off the whole chain of good weeks with a big bang?
hah..the trip back to sentosa with jean,jt,becca n wilson
was really a good time to bask in the sun,get dirtied by sand n get ourselves all burnt till we all looked ready to be served on plates
i like the tan that i have now:)
my primary 5 kids were absolutely restless during tuition class on sat
ahh...but they're still so adorable at the end..with their innocent comments
the whole weekend was a good time to rest though
applied for the BCA scholarship for the first time..though its under the same umbrella of organisations as URA which worked hard to crumble my confidence...
just trusting and praying this will be a God-given chance to earn a sponsor for my uni studies
lack of sleep made me kinda grouchy for the whole day..was just wanting to get home bath n rest
perhaps get all the hassle and bustle of life out of my mind for awhile
can next week pass by in a flash?just no outbreak again on my face will be consoling enough..haha
a real nice pic that i took in sentosa..near the twin towers



















sometimes it can be so hard to truly understand a person's actions n rationale..but guess that i can also be more considerate n thoughtful.

a week just flew by without me actually realizing it.

but to be able to just sit here out in the living room..with my own laptop blogging

i can only say that it seems like a simple dream of yesterday..

so i m just so grateful that dad agreed to purchase it this sat..

hah..even though i m not free-loading..n is already bonded to a three year contract with him..

haha..only i could be paying back installments for a laptop over such a long period of time

anyway..vista's interface is way cool..haven lag once since i start using it

(perhaps reason being its still empty on programs n memory consuming files)

simple happiness:)

other than the blessing.

the past two weeks in camp can be considered as the best two weeks of army life i guess

able to stay out everyday...enjoying the food n company of the civilian world..to the extent i wished we would just stayed in for a couple of days n spare my minute allowance

oh well..to summarise a stayout wouldnt be all that great without pals n friends like becca n zak..
n the meet up with debs after a 'century long'

hurray TOASTBOX!:)
"how much longer are u gonna wander away from my presence?"

i felt that tugging at me throughout the two prayer meets that i attended

its time to step back into his will..

sentosa's sand salt water n sea!!we're coming on thurs..haha

my post ns state of mind

managed to book out of camp real early today..
but the train ride back from yishun took a good 40 minutes
just make my desire to get the license n drive a bike, car...anything..around
i will definitely not miss the peak hour crowds
congrats shit bag, pls drive safely!hah
having a tad more free time this week really set me thinking..
now that i m in ns..things around seem kinda foreign..the projects that the poly people are cooped up with..the sem exams all the girls in uni are always worrying about
all that seems so distant
think my not intellectual mind have gone into a half-shut down mood..
thats scary
been trying to read up about current affairs whenever i can get my hands on newspapers.
n attempting to watch more tv..(not just all the dramas n entertainment prog of course)
haha
guess that i should feel more fortunate when i m out on the weekend, as compared to my friends around..at least i dun have to worry about unfinished works, never-ending project meetings to go for..n upcoming exams that are zapping away all the good mood to relax.
while i just head back camp every sun..to do rountine activities that depends little on brainpower.
always wanted to borrow more architecture books n start drawing more often
but more than often i am just not in the mood..and procrastination prevails..lazy me
life is definitely not just a party i am certain
tml's vday..but i would be celebrating it as the no-lovers day with my army pals.
as they all named it that way..haha
not the usual vday..but it's sure better than to spend it all alone.
the past 3 days reminded me that it aint that easy to forget, let go n let things resume its normal state.but i just have to try harder.

my four long days of extended weekend cny break is over!wonder why time always fly by when its rest and holiday..
hah..probably just the mindset that i take
okie..some pic record of chu yi and chu er..
of me n my bro before we head out to pai nian.



















first day:)




















my brothers love to give wierd faces
hah

















cny would never be the same if it had not ended with your besties
they're really my life support..through the toughest n the happiest moments
cheers.
ok the ns portal is seriously irritating.forever not recognising my password..no matter how many million times..maybe it doesnt want me to find out that i m still underpaid..haha
okie..looking forward to this two weeks of course..
can stay out!
:)

xin nian chu yi

woah..today's xin nian chu yi!
probably the best day in the whole cny calender.
started off with going to the usual places like dad's side family
then to visit my grandpa's grave...brought everyone a little emotional relief n perhaps some encouragement
then off to the more interactive place.mom's family
things didnt turn out awkward or anything...n it was rather good family time
but felt that as i grew older..the words grew lesser
maybe just that i dun really feel that festive mood that strongly since i m in ns
hah..tired 12% red wine..n i turned red almost immediately
just proves that i cant drink..seriously
haha..looking forward to the next two days.
gathering at jy's house with the other army guys...then sat spend with my great buddies.
cny aint gonna be such a bore after all
know i have to make a decision pretty soon.but my heart is really torn between both sides.
is it all wrong to like someone...i wonder.
that izak teh is off to malaysia collecting hongbaos..after all his failed attempts to meet up with us...time to question him when he's back..haha
ok a random pic update!
nite out with church pals at mos.the most decent pic i would say amidst all the other unglam dancing poses n red faces..hah:)

no one, the way you

who doesn't long for someone to hold
who knows how to love you without being told.
if there's a soulmate for everyone.
just that sometimes it aint as easy as it might seem
perhaps..most people just dun understand

happy lunar new year guys n gals..gong xi fa cai:)

a sense of helplessness

didnt realize how a normal week in camp could have so much impact on how everything is now
first the basic theory test..
got to postponed it for the second time
perhaps i would never have the chance to sit for it till i ORD-ed
hate how schedule is always so unexpected.hectic.n definitely not effective or beneficial to any of us
wat made matters worse was the hike of the renewal fees from like 10 dollars to like now 42 bucks???seriously,what does the driving centre do to deserve private candidates to pay so much for enrolment
ahhhhhhh
on a lighter note..things in camp was made more heartwarming with the celebration of one of our favourite trooper's birthday
no one would expect to be woken up late at nite...then held down by your friends n get your hands n legs all taped to the bed frame..
hah..sounds kinda sadistic..but we tried not to hurt him..
happy birthday muncle..aka fat cat
the week just leaves me to question if its that hard to be able to love someone
ok some old pictures update
me zak n becca formed our own emo alley pic album:)
























































good nite...hope tml would be a brighter day

happy brand new 2008

woo..a brand new year started.
lots to expect in the coming days
going to ord by the end of the year
going back to the civilian world can be pretty exciting
though 07 might not have ended on such a high note
nevertheless..i m still thankful for all that i had in the past year
the people around me that cared for me
n most importantly God who walked me through the darkest hour
though my whole year's gonna be spent serving ns
really planned to do more meaningful things to make life more colourful
need to build up on my drawing skills especially:)
spent the last part of the year with dearest friends
holland v's a great place to have dinner n chill
ok there's too many photos to upload n i m getting lazy to do it
next time maybe

guess its timely i make myself clear that this is MY blog and i would not need self-righteous, zoned-out people that dare not step out to show their identities and prefer to stay comfortable and hide behind their self-given code names and attempt to attack people's tagboard
with all your great theories of how my life should be.
and even resort to using force to prove your point
hai...seriously if my blog entrys irks u so much...why even bother coming to my blog n reading it?
life would be so much simpler if u all just stayed away
thanks!to the people who trust in me.though i dun know who you all are
had a real odd day yesterday
went out to get some soccer shoes with my bro.
haha..even taking the train felt wierd...like when the train started moving
perhaps its due to the fact that i was away from civilisation for too long
my bro gotten budget golden adidas shoes.
but they look pretty worthwhile..
had dim sum n a lot of random chinese dishes for dinner..
was really what i dreamt singapore would be like in brunei
haa..

my first trip to BRUNEI

the last view of temburong














the 40 minutes thrilling ride to the capital (the river looks as wide as what i view as sea)

turning left, turning right.have i moved on?

today was my first day of a supposedly long week of off..and ahem...self applied leave
thought it would be real gd..like hey i m out of camp and its time to catch up with friends
but ended up..i m left stunned and not knowing what's wrong
been feeling a little lost nowadays..
like as if i am not in control of my world..like things just happen and pass me by..without me knowing
cant seem to focus on getting everything done..end up..i screwed it all
all this just led me to becoming more frustrated..
and it doesn't help when friends just dun understand..
PLEASE..i gotta let my YES be a YES, and of course a NO be a NO
never anything in between
i need to get my priorities right
tired
maybe all this will change when i serve till that fateful day
but now i cant stay this way
no matter what..still looking forward to the next 3 days..party a little..let my hair if any down.
n i cant DOTA for nuts..i need lessons for dummies like right now
people in the past seem to fade in my memory
somehow like i actually dun know them well..
people in the present makes me assured
but yet things in the future are uncertain

my not so smooth going mth of ns

well...in continuation to my past entry..things still seem a little lost for me
or should i say i m still feeling lost as to how i can just screwed up so much stuff around
not considering the money i've already lost by paying my salary off to the owner for its overpriced items
oh..my samsung mp3 player finally here..still pretty fascinated by its sound quality and its touch buttons though they can be rather retarded at times..
its a real worthwhile deal i can say
shall post the pic again














pretty!
ok enough bout the tech stuff.
been feeling real frustrated bout things lately....
like the people around me sometimes seem like they dun understand what u gotta go through week after week
how your life just revolve around a regime..and that u practically have no control over when u wanna go out and what u wanna do
i m like sandwiched in the middle..
ahhhh!
all these feelings just kinda exploded within me when i shatter my bunk window today
sounds unbelievable but i caused it
crazy me.
even i passed by dover mrt today..cant help but recall how my life would be as a student..
carrying that little bag skipping along off to home after a long tiring day cramping lecture info into my mind(provided i m awake)..haha
and the endless tutorials that were waiting to be done
life seem so much simpler than..
must we all experience the complexity of life as we grow up?..
silly as it may sound..guess i m still in transition stage
gotten two preloaded songs of SGwannabe and sung si kyung inside the player
real nice songs
tonite's off supposed to be for me come home and enjoy some family company with mooncakes..but things turned out to be i m in my room doing my stuff
feel so guilty for bursting out at them
i need a good rest man..to cure my short term memory and my carelessness

reminded that even as i go through the fires in life..
i need to pray not that the fires be put out but that the fires will melt away all the flaws n impurities within me..
make me purer..=)

a word from above

'Why do you worry?Haven I brought u through worse days when u thought u aint gonna make it..but see for yourself..where are u now?
honor my name..work out the life i have planned for u
you're different from the rest..u got the Holy Spirit in you
I am in control..the earth..skies and seas, they're all mine'
just a short word make my life take on a new turn
circumstances don't change..and probably would never..
but its the person's attitude and heart that does
thats the whole idea

hai:(

My STM is really killing me big time

dun speak...i rather u dun

had a great day of biking..learnt lots
but nite just was draining..
perhaps it would be better if i m not spoken to that way
might not be serious.
but its somehow tough for others to stand in your shoes n look at the world.
feel the strain
oh well
life's just goes on that way
10 more days to the my normal green life
n full weekends
brunei's so ehhh now

shoutout

i hope u all understand...its really that my mind is going on it..but my body is physically breaking down