very pretty picture of Sea Hawk Hotel in Japan..
it looks so seamlessly fitted into the night sky =)
Saturday, September 9, 2006
Friday, September 8, 2006
passion for life
well..found lots of interesting stuff online these few days..ok..
so shall just post what i found..haha
first..google earth or something like that is so cool..realize i can zoom satellite images of any part of the earth..like for Singapore's case...until i can see the roof of indoor stadium..wow..thats technology!!
caught the movie 'The Host' recently...okie..went for it and sorta persuaded my good old dong saeh's and noonas (its korean for my older sister and younger brothers and sisters) to go watch it...well..end up i was the only one getting scared...gosh..how embarrassing..
ok...going back to reality...holidays are ending and school's starting..quite sadly...
hai..ok..know the first day of school will definitely wake me up from this deep slumber..its time to get cracking..not much time left!
dance masquerade was really different...didnt know that latin dance involves high heels..
feels more like ballroom dancing..fellowship was great..everyone felt so lighthearted
learnt something today
at many times..things and people even those whom we love, trust...care about will change..or simply remove themselves from ur life..
its is never easy to cover up the gaps of hurt they have left in your mind and heart..
but there is only one thing u can do
and that is to move on!..refocus..and find back something or someone else that can enlarge to fill that empty space
cheers people..life is so much more =)
so shall just post what i found..haha
first..google earth or something like that is so cool..realize i can zoom satellite images of any part of the earth..like for Singapore's case...until i can see the roof of indoor stadium..wow..thats technology!!
caught the movie 'The Host' recently...okie..went for it and sorta persuaded my good old dong saeh's and noonas (its korean for my older sister and younger brothers and sisters) to go watch it...well..end up i was the only one getting scared...gosh..how embarrassing..
ok...going back to reality...holidays are ending and school's starting..quite sadly...
hai..ok..know the first day of school will definitely wake me up from this deep slumber..its time to get cracking..not much time left!
dance masquerade was really different...didnt know that latin dance involves high heels..
feels more like ballroom dancing..fellowship was great..everyone felt so lighthearted
learnt something today
at many times..things and people even those whom we love, trust...care about will change..or simply remove themselves from ur life..
its is never easy to cover up the gaps of hurt they have left in your mind and heart..
but there is only one thing u can do
and that is to move on!..refocus..and find back something or someone else that can enlarge to fill that empty space
cheers people..life is so much more =)
Tuesday, September 5, 2006
"my hiding place"
'you are my strength oh God, you'll uphold me
you are my shield oh God, you'll protect me'
you are my hiding place
you are my shield oh God, you'll protect me'
you are my hiding place
Saturday, September 2, 2006
Excuse me?
i am so not in the right mood to write anything..
ears burning...body feeling so grrrh
it always make me feel so gross..and yes i mean GROSSED out on the inside when people that you know for so long..and despite all that you've done..they or should i say only someone actually never appreciated it
shall stop elaborating....in case i m persecuted for spreading propaganda and trying to gain sympathy..as if i needed any
"chill irwin"
come on...we have all grown up...and that means putting your childishness far away..
YES..we would still commit small mistakes at certain times....but we should continue to try make ourselves better..don't we?
from this point on..i see who are my true friends
putting that aside..had a lots of fun this week...maybe its just the after exams feeling
ok just gonna post up pictures..=)
SEPTEMBER BLAST!!
ears burning...body feeling so grrrh
it always make me feel so gross..and yes i mean GROSSED out on the inside when people that you know for so long..and despite all that you've done..they or should i say only someone actually never appreciated it
shall stop elaborating....in case i m persecuted for spreading propaganda and trying to gain sympathy..as if i needed any
"chill irwin"
come on...we have all grown up...and that means putting your childishness far away..
YES..we would still commit small mistakes at certain times....but we should continue to try make ourselves better..don't we?
from this point on..i see who are my true friends
putting that aside..had a lots of fun this week...maybe its just the after exams feeling
ok just gonna post up pictures..=)
SEPTEMBER BLAST!!
Saturday, August 26, 2006
2 weeks of "help me!..ok its exams"
wow..its already past two weeks...todae seem like its so far away from the day i embarked on this terrible journey...
haha...actually its just prelims...a pretty stressing word to hear by itself
yup...just glad i managed to survive till todae..=)
throughout the whole exams was really just struggling from one paper to the next
was quite obvious i am unprepared...could i have done more?
anyway..thank God for giving me the strength..know the results wont be that fantastic..but i really tried my best
haha..ok time for happier stuff
the whole prelims seem to have disrupted my life so much..till the extent i cant remember what i would normally be doing without papers..memory loss?!?
ok i m growing old....er
went for cell group yesterday..its was really different
had some taiwanese visitors and i realize how poor our chinese standard is..me included..
hahas..had to think like so long to translate some part of the message into chinese..
okie embarassing but i wrote it in hanyu pinyin...
oops =(
everything around seem to be changing..people's attitudes towards life..things that go around..
sometimes things seem simply bleak and cold..probably its just the effects of prelims..
guess its just how complex human minds can be..its just seem so impossible to grasp what the other party is thinking
i have made a decision..to move on..though its not easy...
but i know thats the way he wanna me to go..
i need to keep up..hang on..yup =)
haha...actually its just prelims...a pretty stressing word to hear by itself
yup...just glad i managed to survive till todae..=)
throughout the whole exams was really just struggling from one paper to the next
was quite obvious i am unprepared...could i have done more?
anyway..thank God for giving me the strength..know the results wont be that fantastic..but i really tried my best
haha..ok time for happier stuff
the whole prelims seem to have disrupted my life so much..till the extent i cant remember what i would normally be doing without papers..memory loss?!?
ok i m growing old....er
went for cell group yesterday..its was really different
had some taiwanese visitors and i realize how poor our chinese standard is..me included..
hahas..had to think like so long to translate some part of the message into chinese..
okie embarassing but i wrote it in hanyu pinyin...
oops =(
everything around seem to be changing..people's attitudes towards life..things that go around..
sometimes things seem simply bleak and cold..probably its just the effects of prelims..
guess its just how complex human minds can be..its just seem so impossible to grasp what the other party is thinking
i have made a decision..to move on..though its not easy...
but i know thats the way he wanna me to go..
i need to keep up..hang on..yup =)
some random picture i found..somewhere..think it was jeanie's photo album..but its cool
hahas..we've all grown so much from then..
i need to remind myself i still need to study..there's still monday..
was talking to some secondary school friends here and there..
just to realize how complicated their friendships can be..hai
jiayou ok..all these things that are not meant to be will just fade away..
"we're living our life for God..not money..definitely not for man"
ok time for three areas of revamp in my life...haha..my post prelims goals
Spiritual...Social...and of course wardrobe..
yup..
Saturday, August 12, 2006
i want to say
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
such a simple song to bring out the deepest love
yup..EXAMS!!!!!
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
such a simple song to bring out the deepest love
yup..EXAMS!!!!!
Monday, August 7, 2006
pre-prelims last words
todae's studying was really perfect...can really focus..while not totally isolating ourselves
i have no idea why there's some form of void within me..like there's something lacking
perharps i know why..and i should face it up
choose wisely..been telling myself that countless times...
hahas..
"I DARE YOU TO MOVE"
am i ready?..
okies...all in all..i muz get down to praying and committing..
no point living life the way i wanna..its the way he wanna
back to mug
i muz survive
do people spent more than a few minutes to think before a decision or do they just act irrationally and call that follow your heart?how meaningless and foolish can
i have no idea why there's some form of void within me..like there's something lacking
perharps i know why..and i should face it up
choose wisely..been telling myself that countless times...
hahas..
"I DARE YOU TO MOVE"
am i ready?..
okies...all in all..i muz get down to praying and committing..
no point living life the way i wanna..its the way he wanna
back to mug
i muz survive
do people spent more than a few minutes to think before a decision or do they just act irrationally and call that follow your heart?how meaningless and foolish can
Saturday, August 5, 2006
Ecclesiastes 3:
v3 A time to tear down and a time to rebuild.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak up.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
15 Whatever exists today and whatever will exist in the future has already existed in the past. For God calls each event back in its turn.
even just reading this again...keeps me all positive and encouraged..that whatever happens...has already happened...and God is in control...he's in control...no matter how messed things may seem..WOW..thanks for that Lord..
midway through pq...so time consuming!
v3 A time to tear down and a time to rebuild.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak up.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
15 Whatever exists today and whatever will exist in the future has already existed in the past. For God calls each event back in its turn.
even just reading this again...keeps me all positive and encouraged..that whatever happens...has already happened...and God is in control...he's in control...no matter how messed things may seem..WOW..thanks for that Lord..
midway through pq...so time consuming!
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
when the music fades
love's beautiful...so beautiful..thats how the song goes..but many times how tough is it to believe in that?
dun actually wanna type this entry.....but if i don't i might never be able
how do someone that bring u joy...also bring u trouble..pain at the very next moment
well thats what i have now
perharps it is was just that i have been running in rounds and rounds..
just like on the track..temporarily distracted by the sights and feel of joy..friendships...
but now i realized i am back to the starting point
that i haven moved a single bit off that round track
was it my fault?..or my choice?
WHY?
is it that my friends are so insecure....
they think i think too much
they say i am too sensitive..
but is it too much to ask of them just to be my friend..and be there for each other at anytime...anywhere..no matter wat situation we're facing..or what mood we are in
all the silent whispers fill my mind..it gets me down..
hmm..
parents are constantly not on good terms..i became the target for stress release..they nagged..over the smallest issue..they lecture over every single small bit
i nearly thought i would become mentally unsound after all this
but thank God for being there
"through the darkest hour..the deepest valley..i cried for help..
with a warm embrace..and a word of comfort...he broke through the dark and picked me up"
dun actually wanna type this entry.....but if i don't i might never be able
how do someone that bring u joy...also bring u trouble..pain at the very next moment
well thats what i have now
perharps it is was just that i have been running in rounds and rounds..
just like on the track..temporarily distracted by the sights and feel of joy..friendships...
but now i realized i am back to the starting point
that i haven moved a single bit off that round track
was it my fault?..or my choice?
WHY?
is it that my friends are so insecure....
they think i think too much
they say i am too sensitive..
but is it too much to ask of them just to be my friend..and be there for each other at anytime...anywhere..no matter wat situation we're facing..or what mood we are in
all the silent whispers fill my mind..it gets me down..
hmm..
parents are constantly not on good terms..i became the target for stress release..they nagged..over the smallest issue..they lecture over every single small bit
i nearly thought i would become mentally unsound after all this
but thank God for being there
"through the darkest hour..the deepest valley..i cried for help..
with a warm embrace..and a word of comfort...he broke through the dark and picked me up"
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
i am older!!
well..time flies and i think i have isolated my blog successfully for about a month?...
hahas..just short of forgetting that i still keep a blog..
well..hahas..
anyway..its already past july 18th..and i got alot to say
still remember on sat...i went for jc pm at a cgl's house
truthfully, was a little reluctant and pretty no mood to go
but was reminded that God will touch pple at times when they dun feel like praising, praying or worship
never regret..and can still rmb how He encouraged me to go on with new strength
"i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" =P
went marina square unknowingly with joseph
thanks buddies plus jem and john for the wallet..
really hope we'll have time to be out together again
sun was church...hahas...know i can just go on bout how good healing service was
jl came too..hey..hope u're getting used to everything..including the "rock" praise?
hahas...after that was meetup with the usual pos pals..
hooray..okies..they're really v nice to have sorta organised a day out..
okie...time for the more not so glam fact
we took almost 2 hours to settle on the place to eat....meanwhile we walked heeren...several rounds
and cine many rounds aimlessly..
went suki got the glasses of water...realized buffet hrs over
gosh..went galilee..decided..its kinda ex
so thank God..finally we went that hk restaurant "coffee-shop"
style..i LIKE!! =P ok pardon the oldness inside me
i can never say how much thanks to u girls and guys for brightening up my life during pos..and now my everyday...=)
WIFEBANDS =)
back to school....knowing the my clique is up to no good..
i come mentally prepared =)
hahas...actually it isnt anything scary..they love me too much
emm..okie..just kidding
thanks for nescafe...ok..really shocking..lots of tidbits..junk =)
starting to promote junk food diet..plus that brown shirt
i need a jacket..comfirmed =)
take a look at pamela..haha
marche...i laughed my hardest..till i almost hugged the lampost oops =)
my 18th bdae presents =)=)=) thanks to all of u
THE END
[ at the end, i have learnt so much for the past year...learn to love..to choose..to cry..to pray
to stand up when i feel like slipping]
"we all gotta live in self confidence....if we ourselves is not even secured bout the people we have in our lives...what more will the friends feel themselves"
yup...hey..exams comin!
ok random
hahas..just short of forgetting that i still keep a blog..
well..hahas..
anyway..its already past july 18th..and i got alot to say
still remember on sat...i went for jc pm at a cgl's house
truthfully, was a little reluctant and pretty no mood to go
but was reminded that God will touch pple at times when they dun feel like praising, praying or worship
never regret..and can still rmb how He encouraged me to go on with new strength
"i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" =P
went marina square unknowingly with joseph
thanks buddies plus jem and john for the wallet..
really hope we'll have time to be out together again
sun was church...hahas...know i can just go on bout how good healing service was
jl came too..hey..hope u're getting used to everything..including the "rock" praise?
hahas...after that was meetup with the usual pos pals..
hooray..okies..they're really v nice to have sorta organised a day out..
okie...time for the more not so glam fact
we took almost 2 hours to settle on the place to eat....meanwhile we walked heeren...several rounds
and cine many rounds aimlessly..
went suki got the glasses of water...realized buffet hrs over
gosh..went galilee..decided..its kinda ex
so thank God..finally we went that hk restaurant "coffee-shop"
style..i LIKE!! =P ok pardon the oldness inside me
i can never say how much thanks to u girls and guys for brightening up my life during pos..and now my everyday...=)
WIFEBANDS =)
back to school....knowing the my clique is up to no good..
i come mentally prepared =)
hahas...actually it isnt anything scary..they love me too much
emm..okie..just kidding
thanks for nescafe...ok..really shocking..lots of tidbits..junk =)
starting to promote junk food diet..plus that brown shirt
i need a jacket..comfirmed =)
the little red box..need no elaboration = PERV
take a look at pamela..haha
marche...i laughed my hardest..till i almost hugged the lampost oops =)
my 18th bdae presents =)=)=) thanks to all of u
THE END
[ at the end, i have learnt so much for the past year...learn to love..to choose..to cry..to pray
to stand up when i feel like slipping]
"we all gotta live in self confidence....if we ourselves is not even secured bout the people we have in our lives...what more will the friends feel themselves"
yup...hey..exams comin!
ok random
Sunday, July 2, 2006
after some time
hey..i m back..well..guess my blog missed me
so hahas..
ok must tell myself enough
the holidays are over now..and its back to school..
looking back..i think the holis were really fulfilling...
with emerge, outreaches..chalet =P
and many others..
i have forgotten bout work..maybe just for awhile..
really thank God for lettin me go through all the ups and downs...although many times i would be pretty annoyed and feeling empty inside..
haiz..but he works in ways i can never comprehend..
he have indeed held me through it all
"many are called but few are chosen"
thats something that pst said todae..that still ring in my mind
wow..thats so right..like we are called but who's really up to it to stand up for the challenge?
todae's service was just simply powerful..though many missed it
and the overall mood was not good..pple missing here and there
served for communion and nearly dropped the trays coz i was left to hold for one sub arena
hahas..
miss fellowshipping with the usher friends
issac served first time todae!!
ermm herm.."mr..can find the newest bibles?" haha
continue to jiayou k..i'll wake up earlier next time..
happy birthday jialing
know i didnt do much but just wanna u to have a most blessed year ahead k..
yup..=)
ok that was random..
its really time to pack up all the fun and excitement and start settling down to study
hahas...ya..like 5 more weeks?..ok..
before i forget..karmen..i already checked the weather forecast..clear sunny days ahead..so dun need to bring the umbrella out k?..cheers and u can do it de
ok..oh ya..heard brazil and england lost..thats real tragic and super unexpected..
now left with the less famous teams and prob most pple wont thinking they would see during finals..
hahas..random again
yup..
"all things can be consumed, but not all are beneficial"
so are friends..
so hahas..
ok must tell myself enough
the holidays are over now..and its back to school..
looking back..i think the holis were really fulfilling...
with emerge, outreaches..chalet =P
and many others..
i have forgotten bout work..maybe just for awhile..
really thank God for lettin me go through all the ups and downs...although many times i would be pretty annoyed and feeling empty inside..
haiz..but he works in ways i can never comprehend..
he have indeed held me through it all
"many are called but few are chosen"
thats something that pst said todae..that still ring in my mind
wow..thats so right..like we are called but who's really up to it to stand up for the challenge?
todae's service was just simply powerful..though many missed it
and the overall mood was not good..pple missing here and there
served for communion and nearly dropped the trays coz i was left to hold for one sub arena
hahas..
miss fellowshipping with the usher friends
issac served first time todae!!
ermm herm.."mr..can find the newest bibles?" haha
continue to jiayou k..i'll wake up earlier next time..
happy birthday jialing
know i didnt do much but just wanna u to have a most blessed year ahead k..
yup..=)
ok that was random..
its really time to pack up all the fun and excitement and start settling down to study
hahas...ya..like 5 more weeks?..ok..
before i forget..karmen..i already checked the weather forecast..clear sunny days ahead..so dun need to bring the umbrella out k?..cheers and u can do it de
ok..oh ya..heard brazil and england lost..thats real tragic and super unexpected..
now left with the less famous teams and prob most pple wont thinking they would see during finals..
hahas..random again
yup..
"all things can be consumed, but not all are beneficial"
so are friends..
Sunday, June 18, 2006
need somebody
the past week been really tiring and yet fulfilling
the amount of work is continually piling and i dun really see much time to actually sit down and start getting down on it
God help me!!!!
OkIEs...i need to tell myself to focus the last week
todae just bought something..again..
alot of thoughts running through my mind
listening to sun's album right now
the mood suits in seamlessly
its time to make a change in my everyday..
not going to go by just living at the lowest
or just aimlessly
the amount of work is continually piling and i dun really see much time to actually sit down and start getting down on it
God help me!!!!
OkIEs...i need to tell myself to focus the last week
todae just bought something..again..
alot of thoughts running through my mind
listening to sun's album right now
the mood suits in seamlessly
its time to make a change in my everyday..
not going to go by just living at the lowest
or just aimlessly
Friday, June 16, 2006
decisions
how we look at ourselves......our lives are moulded...pushed in left and right centre
sometimes that person who u thought cares for u...seem to fade away in a shift...
something missing.....
sometimes that person who u thought cares for u...seem to fade away in a shift...
something missing.....
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
pulau ubin here i come
cycle..thats all i wanted...and meet up with the cg members and friends..
hahas
ended up waking late..been having very crazy days since monday..hahas
guess its rare to be alone..so just enjoying it till friday
cycling at ubin can only be summed up as=' UNIQUE AND THRILLING'
all the fast sped round the bends...gears falling over...crawling upslope..that really tires me out
my most loved part-downslope..
just let go and relax..
hahas...how simple right?
pretty worn out now..gotta get some rest..sleep
pray for a deeper breakthrough
finding back that purpose
hahas
ended up waking late..been having very crazy days since monday..hahas
guess its rare to be alone..so just enjoying it till friday
cycling at ubin can only be summed up as=' UNIQUE AND THRILLING'
all the fast sped round the bends...gears falling over...crawling upslope..that really tires me out
my most loved part-downslope..
just let go and relax..
hahas...how simple right?
pretty worn out now..gotta get some rest..sleep
pray for a deeper breakthrough
finding back that purpose
Friday, June 2, 2006
now is the time for us to shine
there goes the final and the start of jc cluster on the big expo hall 8 stage just like 5 hours ago
"now is the time for us to shine"
hahas...and off we go...one two down up..down toss 7.....8....oooooh hoooo
hahas..
todae is a once in a lifetime experience
after like 3 full months of training..we finally reached the first destination for POS
in case u're wondering whats that....pple who are close should noe bout cheerlead
just reflecting about how i actually ended up joining..when my mind was not really made up..or should i say i had a hard time learning to trust
hahas..but God works in numerous special ways..
he placed me here for a purpose..
in just roughly 2minutes and 23 seconds...we completed everything
PRAISE GOD...most of the stunts and dance went up..everybody put in their 120% percent
hahas...we found that supernatural strength
just gonna post up some pics and head straight for bed...
its just day one of emerge..EXPECT greater move of God in the days to come..
pictures below are meant just for really good memories..so pple involved pls pardon me
hahas =P
"now is the time for us to shine"
hahas...and off we go...one two down up..down toss 7.....8....oooooh hoooo
hahas..
todae is a once in a lifetime experience
after like 3 full months of training..we finally reached the first destination for POS
in case u're wondering whats that....pple who are close should noe bout cheerlead
just reflecting about how i actually ended up joining..when my mind was not really made up..or should i say i had a hard time learning to trust
hahas..but God works in numerous special ways..
he placed me here for a purpose..
in just roughly 2minutes and 23 seconds...we completed everything
PRAISE GOD...most of the stunts and dance went up..everybody put in their 120% percent
hahas...we found that supernatural strength
just gonna post up some pics and head straight for bed...
its just day one of emerge..EXPECT greater move of God in the days to come..
pictures below are meant just for really good memories..so pple involved pls pardon me
hahas =P
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
emergiee
hahas...well time flies..and looking back for the past months..
i can only say "thank you God for being faithful"
i have really grown alot through this period...like learning to manage lots of tasks and commitments
getting used to talking to different groups of people in a day
go through some dry and lonely patches without friends here n there
hahas..just came home..and wanted to try to practice more for dance..
okies..look kinda funny
glad my mom didnt laugh..hahahas
met jeanie for lunch at long john...yeah..
haven like meet up like this for a long long time..hahas
its like two more days to emerge..and truthfully i cant contain the excitement within
pos really gets more totally "cant stop the beat"
all i can say is that after each training..though i m worn out..
i still feel fuller in my heart..like as i just had a faith enlargement..=)
anyway..take care krystal tang..if u're gonna read this...rest well..pray and we're gonna make things happen on 1st june
looking forward the holis..i can see that its really packed..emerge.zoo..chalet..lessons..and all that
woo hoo..but makes me anticipate even more
time to pray up..read up his Word...and get stronger
hahas...at many times..its inevitably to feel kinda not understood..no matter what i do and think or say..friends...
perharps...its really normal for pple to come...close..and then draw away..its not within my control i guess
though its really terrible or should i say gross to feel so clearly avoided..i have yet to know what's exactly wrong..
missed out todae's clique outing..but guess the clique still had fun
for karmen:
remember no matter your friends are always here for u...
though at many times the way we care is being expressed
we all love you...
all humans are not perfect..we do commit that mistakes
but whats more important is to pick yourself up...renew your mind..
and wow..u're coming on stronger than before..never looking back..
whats done now is better than being hidden for later which will hurt even more
and i pray that your friendship..will be pure..and true friends' love
yup nitez
sorrie for making you wait..
tml's last preview..meeting donovon in the morn...buy WHITE shoes..ahhas
see ya pple
i can only say "thank you God for being faithful"
i have really grown alot through this period...like learning to manage lots of tasks and commitments
getting used to talking to different groups of people in a day
go through some dry and lonely patches without friends here n there
hahas..just came home..and wanted to try to practice more for dance..
okies..look kinda funny
glad my mom didnt laugh..hahahas
met jeanie for lunch at long john...yeah..
haven like meet up like this for a long long time..hahas
its like two more days to emerge..and truthfully i cant contain the excitement within
pos really gets more totally "cant stop the beat"
all i can say is that after each training..though i m worn out..
i still feel fuller in my heart..like as i just had a faith enlargement..=)
anyway..take care krystal tang..if u're gonna read this...rest well..pray and we're gonna make things happen on 1st june
looking forward the holis..i can see that its really packed..emerge.zoo..chalet..lessons..and all that
woo hoo..but makes me anticipate even more
time to pray up..read up his Word...and get stronger
hahas...at many times..its inevitably to feel kinda not understood..no matter what i do and think or say..friends...
perharps...its really normal for pple to come...close..and then draw away..its not within my control i guess
though its really terrible or should i say gross to feel so clearly avoided..i have yet to know what's exactly wrong..
missed out todae's clique outing..but guess the clique still had fun
for karmen:
remember no matter your friends are always here for u...
though at many times the way we care is being expressed
we all love you...
all humans are not perfect..we do commit that mistakes
but whats more important is to pick yourself up...renew your mind..
and wow..u're coming on stronger than before..never looking back..
whats done now is better than being hidden for later which will hurt even more
and i pray that your friendship..will be pure..and true friends' love
yup nitez
sorrie for making you wait..
tml's last preview..meeting donovon in the morn...buy WHITE shoes..ahhas
see ya pple
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
when i seem to say "i cant go on"
the name was spoken..the consequences were clear..
i didnt expect it
i left
cold the nite suddenly seem..extreme sadness gripped me..
i respect the decision but i m human..
looking backing..i would definitely feel that hurt rising from deep within
my mp3 silently accompanied me..even as waves fof disappointment coz of this and wondering "if i did so badly" hits me
no will to move on..
but i have to..can i?..
the four walls seem to be moving on...yes i know enlarge..but i have lost all forms of strength to do that now..
8 hours have passed and the feeling ever so strong..
its just something i m passionate about
let a miracle come before its all too late
i didnt expect it
i left
cold the nite suddenly seem..extreme sadness gripped me..
i respect the decision but i m human..
looking backing..i would definitely feel that hurt rising from deep within
my mp3 silently accompanied me..even as waves fof disappointment coz of this and wondering "if i did so badly" hits me
no will to move on..
but i have to..can i?..
the four walls seem to be moving on...yes i know enlarge..but i have lost all forms of strength to do that now..
8 hours have passed and the feeling ever so strong..
its just something i m passionate about
let a miracle come before its all too late
Saturday, May 13, 2006
a deeper sense of longing...
my past week just flew by with all the pos trainings...and though i am really challenged physically..coz i m so darn tired now...but yet...i have found something that i can bring on in my life
that is why in the first place there is a God..and why i chose him and trust Him..i m enlarging my capacity
many times i m so drained from sch and all that by the time i reach the place for training..i m half dead..not in the mood to interact or to perfect my moves...hahas..but i really messed up some of them
i realized i lack something in my life
received a call the other day...that didnt exactly make the nite a good one
sometimes i do wonder what others are expecting..maybe its just because they're not me..so they won't understand what i have to go through.."no matter how hard they say they do"
made me reflect my past few years in ministry what have i done..have i progressed?..
life's gettin complicated with so many commitments..but i m no longer the one that just bow down to difficulties and trials..been through lots
fri's service and pst phil msg explained all these
i need to pray alot more...
my quiet time has been diminishing...and my mood been like going from normal..to slightly lower and now a little cranky
yucks..ewww i dun like this feeling
ok no more procrastination gonna start the prayer life going..thank God for keeping me most of the time awake during service..i was silently saying to God i m too tired..please just take me to heaven..but obviously its not the time yet..
issac please jiayou too?...we're not running this race alone..we got all the brothers n sisters under his family no matter how not close we might seem...
our hearts are for each other..
my life's been segregating into smaller bits and pieces..
Ecclesiastes 3:1 "To everything there is a season. A time for every purpose under heaven"
thank you for this promise that never changes that u're always under control whatsoever the circumstances
todae's sat which means its time to stay home to catch up on work..miss my friends in school..but will just see them on mon..the long lost family time is also todae..hahas..wierd but i miss my mom n dad..together with my bros..
i m stepping out and breaking through..
that is why in the first place there is a God..and why i chose him and trust Him..i m enlarging my capacity
many times i m so drained from sch and all that by the time i reach the place for training..i m half dead..not in the mood to interact or to perfect my moves...hahas..but i really messed up some of them
i realized i lack something in my life
received a call the other day...that didnt exactly make the nite a good one
sometimes i do wonder what others are expecting..maybe its just because they're not me..so they won't understand what i have to go through.."no matter how hard they say they do"
made me reflect my past few years in ministry what have i done..have i progressed?..
life's gettin complicated with so many commitments..but i m no longer the one that just bow down to difficulties and trials..been through lots
fri's service and pst phil msg explained all these
i need to pray alot more...
my quiet time has been diminishing...and my mood been like going from normal..to slightly lower and now a little cranky
yucks..ewww i dun like this feeling
ok no more procrastination gonna start the prayer life going..thank God for keeping me most of the time awake during service..i was silently saying to God i m too tired..please just take me to heaven..but obviously its not the time yet..
issac please jiayou too?...we're not running this race alone..we got all the brothers n sisters under his family no matter how not close we might seem...
our hearts are for each other..
my life's been segregating into smaller bits and pieces..
Ecclesiastes 3:1 "To everything there is a season. A time for every purpose under heaven"
thank you for this promise that never changes that u're always under control whatsoever the circumstances
todae's sat which means its time to stay home to catch up on work..miss my friends in school..but will just see them on mon..the long lost family time is also todae..hahas..wierd but i miss my mom n dad..together with my bros..
i m stepping out and breaking through..
Tuesday, May 2, 2006
i am just down
u left me with a note without a sound
u nver know u know how much i have been around
how my heart just frowns when u're down
i'll be your teddy bear
i'll be your clown
i'll take you round and around
if u dont mind i can be your standing ground
even if that means i drown
u left me with a note without a sound
u nver know u know how much i have been around
how my heart just frowns when u're down
i'll be your teddy bear
i'll be your clown
i'll take you round and around
if u dont mind i can be your standing ground
even if that means i drown
Friday, April 28, 2006
once again
and once again i look upon the cr0ss where u died...i am humbled by your mercy as i am broken inside...0nce again i thank you..once again i pour out my life
once again...i have back to stage where i am friends with many..but yet...sometimes its just doesnt feel that close after all..but yet..i know God has placed some friends that at the end of the day..their love for u will never change...they're here for u at the end
oh well..econs essay tml...not too appealing
nitez
once again...i have back to stage where i am friends with many..but yet...sometimes its just doesnt feel that close after all..but yet..i know God has placed some friends that at the end of the day..their love for u will never change...they're here for u at the end
oh well..econs essay tml...not too appealing
nitez
Saturday, April 22, 2006
the picking up myself process
looking back at how long since i actually blogged...its nearly two weeks..
been wanting to get down to it..but never had the chance to...since time no longer permit
let me think how can i sum up what i had been feeling for the past few weeks
HELPLESS?
probably thats the best i can come up with
even as i started to feel the pressure of POS building up..with the trainings ending late at somewhere far..and when i reach home..it will probably be impossible to even sit down and do work for 5 minutes
that sorta left me really frustrated even as i woke up in shock as the alarm rang..and i still haven done my work..
how should i say..its a viscious cycle
nevertheless..i dun regret putting myself into it..i guess some might feels an OVERcommitment..
but i say its an OVERcoming of time..to put my faith at work...
really grew to trust God to provide for my everyday needs
phew...POS is really a once in a lifetime thing...maybe its the last time i understand how people cheerlead..
two weeks...every single day never fails to drain my energy away..bit by bit
without God's purpose..and without seeking after his face
i almost wanted to say ITS ENOUGH
i can't take it any longer
but God always work in ways we cant imagine...with the incident on friday..clementi
hahas..another really "once in a lifetime is enough" experience...i know all i have is God
might seem a little exaggerated but thats how i felt
issac u and i would be fine!
take care
went JP with claire todae..hahas..and she really was nice to just follow me around as i randomly went into shops to look at my stuff..=)
too bad i was never meant to have that slippers...haiz shall just wait
"many people change...many situations fail us and devastate us..
but as long as our determintation and our belief never change, what can stop us from moving on?"
so u people out there who feel like on the verge of giving up...u BETTER NOT!
after each at the verge experience..we start afresh on a new peak
joseph..thats for u...remember that we are all still running this marathon..
been wanting to get down to it..but never had the chance to...since time no longer permit
let me think how can i sum up what i had been feeling for the past few weeks
HELPLESS?
probably thats the best i can come up with
even as i started to feel the pressure of POS building up..with the trainings ending late at somewhere far..and when i reach home..it will probably be impossible to even sit down and do work for 5 minutes
that sorta left me really frustrated even as i woke up in shock as the alarm rang..and i still haven done my work..
how should i say..its a viscious cycle
nevertheless..i dun regret putting myself into it..i guess some might feels an OVERcommitment..
but i say its an OVERcoming of time..to put my faith at work...
really grew to trust God to provide for my everyday needs
phew...POS is really a once in a lifetime thing...maybe its the last time i understand how people cheerlead..
two weeks...every single day never fails to drain my energy away..bit by bit
without God's purpose..and without seeking after his face
i almost wanted to say ITS ENOUGH
i can't take it any longer
but God always work in ways we cant imagine...with the incident on friday..clementi
hahas..another really "once in a lifetime is enough" experience...i know all i have is God
might seem a little exaggerated but thats how i felt
issac u and i would be fine!
take care
went JP with claire todae..hahas..and she really was nice to just follow me around as i randomly went into shops to look at my stuff..=)
too bad i was never meant to have that slippers...haiz shall just wait
"many people change...many situations fail us and devastate us..
but as long as our determintation and our belief never change, what can stop us from moving on?"
so u people out there who feel like on the verge of giving up...u BETTER NOT!
after each at the verge experience..we start afresh on a new peak
joseph..thats for u...remember that we are all still running this marathon..
Saturday, April 8, 2006
CROSS MY HEART
Cross My Heart
we got it all and we would be fools to let it go
coz i need you more and more
coz you're my life and i live for your love that u give
and although my journey's long, i soon be home...
oohhh..its gonna be so hard on my own
but i wont be alone
cross my heart and tell no lies
no one's leaving you behind
just because we say goodbye
cross my heart i do believe
in my heart and in my dreams i would be taking you with me
sometimes i think i can feel u breathing on me
you're there so deep inside
and i like what i feel
though its not what i feel
it helps me carry on till i come home
this song kept me company...
God please let the people see that everyone of us are pouring out our lives to the cell group..so please God..open their hearts
we got it all and we would be fools to let it go
coz i need you more and more
coz you're my life and i live for your love that u give
and although my journey's long, i soon be home...
oohhh..its gonna be so hard on my own
but i wont be alone
cross my heart and tell no lies
no one's leaving you behind
just because we say goodbye
cross my heart i do believe
in my heart and in my dreams i would be taking you with me
sometimes i think i can feel u breathing on me
you're there so deep inside
and i like what i feel
though its not what i feel
it helps me carry on till i come home
this song kept me company...
God please let the people see that everyone of us are pouring out our lives to the cell group..so please God..open their hearts
well...at least the depressing and rather frustrating week is coming to an end....guess this was the week i really start to reflect and ask myself whether i have been doing the right things.
friendship is how fragile...especially when u thought that that it was meant to be..it is not about me being pessimistic...but its just the truth being presented right in my face...
drained..confused..and really really helpless....who are the people in my life that is willing to be there for me..some i know they are always there...my cell group..secondary school buddies...who else?
sometimes secretly i hope God can just take me to heaven...but obviously he won't because my time is not up...i already had enough
ulcers just aggravate the pain i had to go through...life seems to stop for a moment
but now that things start to settle down..and everything start to fall into place...my heart can't seem to change..why?..i wonder..
friends that are secure...true...its an invisible and unspoken bond between each other that cant be spoken...what have i gotten after i have put in all my best and treat my friends like my best...
i know its over already and now that i have raked up the past i am sorry
i need to say it out and i promise i would get over after letting it out..
the absence of friendship, happiness and companion...just see my world crashing down..maybe i didnt see that crack within the pretty glassbottle..maybe i was blind..maybe
enough of my maybeS...things arent too peaceful not only in school..i feel the pressure mounting...
need to rush my work before there's pos on mon nite...and all the test and hw due for tues would leave me nuts..
"you will never leave nor forsake me" when i can't see God's hand..when there is
a mist obstructing my path..that is the time i got to trust God's heart
friendship is how fragile...especially when u thought that that it was meant to be..it is not about me being pessimistic...but its just the truth being presented right in my face...
drained..confused..and really really helpless....who are the people in my life that is willing to be there for me..some i know they are always there...my cell group..secondary school buddies...who else?
sometimes secretly i hope God can just take me to heaven...but obviously he won't because my time is not up...i already had enough
ulcers just aggravate the pain i had to go through...life seems to stop for a moment
but now that things start to settle down..and everything start to fall into place...my heart can't seem to change..why?..i wonder..
friends that are secure...true...its an invisible and unspoken bond between each other that cant be spoken...what have i gotten after i have put in all my best and treat my friends like my best...
i know its over already and now that i have raked up the past i am sorry
i need to say it out and i promise i would get over after letting it out..
the absence of friendship, happiness and companion...just see my world crashing down..maybe i didnt see that crack within the pretty glassbottle..maybe i was blind..maybe
enough of my maybeS...things arent too peaceful not only in school..i feel the pressure mounting...
need to rush my work before there's pos on mon nite...and all the test and hw due for tues would leave me nuts..
"you will never leave nor forsake me" when i can't see God's hand..when there is
a mist obstructing my path..that is the time i got to trust God's heart
Tuesday, April 4, 2006
"God is in charge and I am not"
so no matter what happens next...i shall trust..
friend...i am always and will always be here..
let's make this friendship last
so no matter what happens next...i shall trust..
friend...i am always and will always be here..
let's make this friendship last
Sunday, March 26, 2006
the end and the beginning
how long have i actually not blogged?...i think i was at the edge of forgetting about my blog
anyway....exams are OVER for now..hahas...i am probably the last to exclaim that...but for the first time that i took only 3 papers...i feel much more relieved..thank God for showing urself faithful=)
hahas...straight after the last math paper which i found better than promos...i went straight for my bag hunt
think i used it to motivate to study too much..that i felt a little despair after searching and ramaging most part of orchard and bugis..
karmen...i really wasnt that upset..guess i m just impulsive...
friday i was at it again..went to queensway again...but ended up with the gals benefitting from the whole trip..u all are the best man..haha
saturday was a really unusual yet special day...went out with the cg and huiling...
wanted to go canoe with the rest but hl was rather terrified..oops...ya...so got no choice but to go cycling with her
after stealing her bike and nearly running over some dogs and all.....we left east coast to head for church in a rush
that was the climax i guess...
although my stomach was making noises and felt so exhausted....God's presence overcame all of that...worship that day was just so anointed..and filled with so much of God's grace and power...God reminded me that no matter wat...in my goodie and baddie days...watever circumstances..i still need him badly
many times...most people dun understand..this especially hurts if ur close friend does it...
like they question u...they make comments about u...that u thought they truly understood...in case u're wondering..i arent speaking for myself..
thats the difference in the level of our love for God..i guess....that can be such a big bother at times
we all need to learn that we're living for this cause and that God called us to "lay down our lives" for him...this isnt just about the talk..its isnt just about showing up at services...its about telling urself..no matter if it rains or shine..i'll pick myself up to go to church to worship...thats commitment
i know i m not perfect...but i just felt God saying this clearly
as for life and whatever it brings...i get distracted rather easily...i tend to stray into the wrong paths....fall for the wrong things...but i pray that i would not stay in this situation permanently...i'll CROSS that line...
anyway....exams are OVER for now..hahas...i am probably the last to exclaim that...but for the first time that i took only 3 papers...i feel much more relieved..thank God for showing urself faithful=)
hahas...straight after the last math paper which i found better than promos...i went straight for my bag hunt
think i used it to motivate to study too much..that i felt a little despair after searching and ramaging most part of orchard and bugis..
karmen...i really wasnt that upset..guess i m just impulsive...
friday i was at it again..went to queensway again...but ended up with the gals benefitting from the whole trip..u all are the best man..haha
saturday was a really unusual yet special day...went out with the cg and huiling...
wanted to go canoe with the rest but hl was rather terrified..oops...ya...so got no choice but to go cycling with her
after stealing her bike and nearly running over some dogs and all.....we left east coast to head for church in a rush
that was the climax i guess...
although my stomach was making noises and felt so exhausted....God's presence overcame all of that...worship that day was just so anointed..and filled with so much of God's grace and power...God reminded me that no matter wat...in my goodie and baddie days...watever circumstances..i still need him badly
many times...most people dun understand..this especially hurts if ur close friend does it...
like they question u...they make comments about u...that u thought they truly understood...in case u're wondering..i arent speaking for myself..
thats the difference in the level of our love for God..i guess....that can be such a big bother at times
we all need to learn that we're living for this cause and that God called us to "lay down our lives" for him...this isnt just about the talk..its isnt just about showing up at services...its about telling urself..no matter if it rains or shine..i'll pick myself up to go to church to worship...thats commitment
i know i m not perfect...but i just felt God saying this clearly
as for life and whatever it brings...i get distracted rather easily...i tend to stray into the wrong paths....fall for the wrong things...but i pray that i would not stay in this situation permanently...i'll CROSS that line...
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
hoildays has started...without much allowance to slack and rest...
just thinking of how much i had revised....really bothers me
yesterday made me realized how important it is to treasure life and not be trashy
many times...we are the one that make the decision...and when the consequence...we found it hard to believe...come on...u made the first step..u should have thgt of the next
went out to KAP to study with karmen, claire and brandon...hahas
most of the time our minds were drifting away....to food..to random stuff...
but it was great time..met joseph and kailin...and his friend..
need to tell myself its holidays...and i can have even more time for God...and his Word....must put in the effort to stay close to Him and to hear Him speak...and not miss the time now
sometimes...u might not get to see someone's true colour...till the most extreme situation confronts..disappointment
but really leds me to understand who are the true friends that i have in my life...
thank you God...that no matter how messed up..things around me might have gone...you are my tower of refuge and strength...you will never leave or forsake me..=)
one more day to start working...jiayou guys!
just thinking of how much i had revised....really bothers me
yesterday made me realized how important it is to treasure life and not be trashy
many times...we are the one that make the decision...and when the consequence...we found it hard to believe...come on...u made the first step..u should have thgt of the next
went out to KAP to study with karmen, claire and brandon...hahas
most of the time our minds were drifting away....to food..to random stuff...
but it was great time..met joseph and kailin...and his friend..
need to tell myself its holidays...and i can have even more time for God...and his Word....must put in the effort to stay close to Him and to hear Him speak...and not miss the time now
sometimes...u might not get to see someone's true colour...till the most extreme situation confronts..disappointment
but really leds me to understand who are the true friends that i have in my life...
thank you God...that no matter how messed up..things around me might have gone...you are my tower of refuge and strength...you will never leave or forsake me..=)
one more day to start working...jiayou guys!
Wednesday, March 8, 2006
from the last time i updated up to now...the things around me have evolved so much..and glad to say all of them are positive
"friendship is not just strong because the friends have similar interests and characteristics, it is not about how long the phone call is...or how frequent we actually msg each other....
it is the sharing of the happy, sad, sour...bitter events of life together.."
"through the trials and moment of uncertainty...there lies ahead a opening out of the darkness to something even greater...a friendship that is made to last a lifetime"
thank you God turning wat is meant for evil for the good of ur children
oh ya..before i forget...here's a short bible verse from the previous prayer meeting that the pastor mentioned that turn my view 180 degrees
hebrews 12:1-2
"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares u, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking onto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God"
if u are just wondering wat these two verses were talking about, we are running the race for Christ and many times we get so tired and weighed down by the things that goes on in our lives and the sins which we commit and threaten to overthrow all controls in our lives...that is the time we got to hang on!
the cloud of witnesses are the people of faith from the Bible like Abraham, Isaac, Joseph which had already completed their race..this race is not a marathon..but one of a relay like the 4x100m which we all do during sports meet...
means the baton is being passed from the people to us...
if we were to give up during the race, which actually means dropping the baton..
all the other 4 runners would be disqualified
i am sure this is something enough to think about and keep me going
=)
"friendship is not just strong because the friends have similar interests and characteristics, it is not about how long the phone call is...or how frequent we actually msg each other....
it is the sharing of the happy, sad, sour...bitter events of life together.."
"through the trials and moment of uncertainty...there lies ahead a opening out of the darkness to something even greater...a friendship that is made to last a lifetime"
thank you God turning wat is meant for evil for the good of ur children
oh ya..before i forget...here's a short bible verse from the previous prayer meeting that the pastor mentioned that turn my view 180 degrees
hebrews 12:1-2
"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares u, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking onto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God"
if u are just wondering wat these two verses were talking about, we are running the race for Christ and many times we get so tired and weighed down by the things that goes on in our lives and the sins which we commit and threaten to overthrow all controls in our lives...that is the time we got to hang on!
the cloud of witnesses are the people of faith from the Bible like Abraham, Isaac, Joseph which had already completed their race..this race is not a marathon..but one of a relay like the 4x100m which we all do during sports meet...
means the baton is being passed from the people to us...
if we were to give up during the race, which actually means dropping the baton..
all the other 4 runners would be disqualified
i am sure this is something enough to think about and keep me going
=)
Thursday, February 23, 2006
shedding some light
school todae seem really very different from the ordinary...
much nicer i guess
but indeed i have come to my senses not to trust in many things or people that i see
yeah..i did felt like why would events all twist to show the fact that it is tough to read a person's mind or to even ascertain that the person is my good and true friend
some points that i learnt in last sun's sermon that can never be more real to me than now
1) Friends create faith, not fear. They just brightens up your life
2) Friends strengthen my walk with God
3) Friends celebrate my victory and we'll rejoice together with each other during someone's victory
4) Friends equip me with my future
couldn't really relate all these points till this day
it all seem so real
i know i am partially at fault for not asking earlier to clear up all the doubts
or even inducing u to feel that its true
so that we can just share our lives openly
if you really feel that i am jealous about your relations
there's nothing much for me to say or try to explain myself
the only thing i know i regard u as a good friend...seriously
everything seems to be changing and events turning out more sour than before
losing my motivation to go school or even listen to lectures..
nothing's really going in
but its time to clean up the mess...pack my bag and set off to go
i'll not fall back into such things even again..with God's guidance..
much nicer i guess
but indeed i have come to my senses not to trust in many things or people that i see
yeah..i did felt like why would events all twist to show the fact that it is tough to read a person's mind or to even ascertain that the person is my good and true friend
some points that i learnt in last sun's sermon that can never be more real to me than now
1) Friends create faith, not fear. They just brightens up your life
2) Friends strengthen my walk with God
3) Friends celebrate my victory and we'll rejoice together with each other during someone's victory
4) Friends equip me with my future
couldn't really relate all these points till this day
it all seem so real
i know i am partially at fault for not asking earlier to clear up all the doubts
or even inducing u to feel that its true
so that we can just share our lives openly
if you really feel that i am jealous about your relations
there's nothing much for me to say or try to explain myself
the only thing i know i regard u as a good friend...seriously
everything seems to be changing and events turning out more sour than before
losing my motivation to go school or even listen to lectures..
nothing's really going in
but its time to clean up the mess...pack my bag and set off to go
i'll not fall back into such things even again..with God's guidance..
Sunday, February 19, 2006
mei gui lou aka ROSE MANSION
mei gui lou
home to 3 shanghai most famous and pretty dancers...
that was how the whole story started
hahas..in case u think that i m talking rubbish..
this is 2SD2 infamous haunted house...which we are all very proud of..
looking back at the numerous times we all stayed back in school to prepare materials..
sweat it out..and bleed it out literally
our class just held each other throughout the happy funny...and as well as the tough periods
its just perfect
hahas...and the day came just as expected
fun o rama 18th...
first time i slept little knowing that i am going to have a super duper exhausting day ahead
at first...i was really nervous and anxious about the whole thing
the teachers did a first trial and suggested my dressroom to change my script and all
a little upsetting and last minute..and syl suggested me crawling...which left some big marks on my legs though
she screamed when i just did my first trial..so i knew that was the way to go =P
met all sorts of visitors throughout the whole day
so i can classify them as 3 different groups
1) the boys....can be a freak irritated bunch that made me wanna bite them if i can coz they just can't admit if they're frightened
2) the mixed group...with the girls screaming when the guys poke fun at them
3) the all girls kind...easiest to freak out
hahas...the whole day was really fun filled...not that pleasurable but we enjoyed or maybe its just me started loving to scared people as much as i can
thanks all the 3 dancers....the altar guy...the toilet mandy liz....tunnel...jeanette aud...
kitchen...jade marianne....dressing rm..me...hl and karmen...exit..debs and jol
u all are the greatest most amazing bunch of classmates
plus the tour guides..and publicity pple...OMs..weihan..mh..alvin..and also claire who constantly help to arrange timing..christine...brandon..
thanks dad and mom..brothers..and my grandma...she qualify for the fearless women award...haha
issac and gang...mao san and ks..who disturbed my long hair
although i got really big blue blacks...cuts all over..it hurts really but i feel i done to the best i could for my role...it was all worthwhile
be a MAN, man doesn't go back on their word..and simply leave....dun promise a role if u can't handle....come on MAN!
dun wish to harp on it..but if i dun mention this...i'll get emotion constipation for life...
todae service was really good..
all i know is that God reminded me when i kneel down to pray
and my knee hurts like mad...God said softly to me
"the pain i bear for u is much greater than this"
what a simple phrase with such a deeper meaning
i cried in his presence
God're greater than any problems or hurts in my life
i love u
home to 3 shanghai most famous and pretty dancers...
that was how the whole story started
hahas..in case u think that i m talking rubbish..
this is 2SD2 infamous haunted house...which we are all very proud of..
looking back at the numerous times we all stayed back in school to prepare materials..
sweat it out..and bleed it out literally
our class just held each other throughout the happy funny...and as well as the tough periods
its just perfect
hahas...and the day came just as expected
fun o rama 18th...
first time i slept little knowing that i am going to have a super duper exhausting day ahead
at first...i was really nervous and anxious about the whole thing
the teachers did a first trial and suggested my dressroom to change my script and all
a little upsetting and last minute..and syl suggested me crawling...which left some big marks on my legs though
she screamed when i just did my first trial..so i knew that was the way to go =P
met all sorts of visitors throughout the whole day
so i can classify them as 3 different groups
1) the boys....can be a freak irritated bunch that made me wanna bite them if i can coz they just can't admit if they're frightened
2) the mixed group...with the girls screaming when the guys poke fun at them
3) the all girls kind...easiest to freak out
hahas...the whole day was really fun filled...not that pleasurable but we enjoyed or maybe its just me started loving to scared people as much as i can
thanks all the 3 dancers....the altar guy...the toilet mandy liz....tunnel...jeanette aud...
kitchen...jade marianne....dressing rm..me...hl and karmen...exit..debs and jol
u all are the greatest most amazing bunch of classmates
plus the tour guides..and publicity pple...OMs..weihan..mh..alvin..and also claire who constantly help to arrange timing..christine...brandon..
thanks dad and mom..brothers..and my grandma...she qualify for the fearless women award...haha
issac and gang...mao san and ks..who disturbed my long hair
although i got really big blue blacks...cuts all over..it hurts really but i feel i done to the best i could for my role...it was all worthwhile
be a MAN, man doesn't go back on their word..and simply leave....dun promise a role if u can't handle....come on MAN!
dun wish to harp on it..but if i dun mention this...i'll get emotion constipation for life...
todae service was really good..
all i know is that God reminded me when i kneel down to pray
and my knee hurts like mad...God said softly to me
"the pain i bear for u is much greater than this"
what a simple phrase with such a deeper meaning
i cried in his presence
God're greater than any problems or hurts in my life
i love u
Saturday, February 4, 2006
i can't go on
-personal advisory, its my blog so please give me some space to let it all out, i'll feel better aft-
neglected this for quite some time..so now i am back
obviously.....everything around has been just spinning..SPIN...SPIN...
i lost all directions
hate it this way
school's been just a zombie gathering centre....
tired....FREAKED OUT
you probably don't really understand why i am feeling this way
but its ok
nothing else really matter
if u think i am a serious pessimistic maniac
you're wrong
its really normal to feel this stressed out
saturday just passed like this
current affairs was kinda expectedly hard...i am really not into such things
went for a swim to really slow things a little...been not getting enough sleep
funfair's not exactly exciting now...but we don't have a choice..we have to stick to our promise
things are not the same in church...
came as a shock....that anything can happen to anyone..i probably understand the reason for that choice...
i know i got to tell myself not to give up....its really tough..TOUGH....i dun lie bout that
for now i had enough....its time to spend some time alone..
God you are the only one that can rescue me from all these....i am not going to sink in to quick sand
"Life throws really random tough knots at u to get u in ur way...u tripped...fall...probably bleed or broke a few teeth...but if u're just gonna sit there and cry and complain....nothing good will really come out of it...tell myself all these is not permanent..once i overcome it...i'll not fear the same knots again..and i can tell the larger and more complicated knots..i am all ready for them"
"please God i pray"
i dont have the mood to go anywhere or do something...but this is something i should not follow my heart
i got one more day left...and i only did like 5% of all the work
plus homework...tutorials..tests...hahahahahas
i can only laugh at myself
when will it be all over?
neglected this for quite some time..so now i am back
obviously.....everything around has been just spinning..SPIN...SPIN...
i lost all directions
hate it this way
school's been just a zombie gathering centre....
tired....FREAKED OUT
you probably don't really understand why i am feeling this way
but its ok
nothing else really matter
if u think i am a serious pessimistic maniac
you're wrong
its really normal to feel this stressed out
saturday just passed like this
current affairs was kinda expectedly hard...i am really not into such things
went for a swim to really slow things a little...been not getting enough sleep
funfair's not exactly exciting now...but we don't have a choice..we have to stick to our promise
things are not the same in church...
came as a shock....that anything can happen to anyone..i probably understand the reason for that choice...
i know i got to tell myself not to give up....its really tough..TOUGH....i dun lie bout that
for now i had enough....its time to spend some time alone..
God you are the only one that can rescue me from all these....i am not going to sink in to quick sand
"Life throws really random tough knots at u to get u in ur way...u tripped...fall...probably bleed or broke a few teeth...but if u're just gonna sit there and cry and complain....nothing good will really come out of it...tell myself all these is not permanent..once i overcome it...i'll not fear the same knots again..and i can tell the larger and more complicated knots..i am all ready for them"
"please God i pray"
i dont have the mood to go anywhere or do something...but this is something i should not follow my heart
i got one more day left...and i only did like 5% of all the work
plus homework...tutorials..tests...hahahahahas
i can only laugh at myself
when will it be all over?
Friday, January 20, 2006
serious thoughts
happen to read deb's blog and it left me thinking for awhile....intriguing
just came back from cell group which really steered me on the right track
many times i have become too concerned about things that doesn't really concern me..
its really just upsetting to know i could have spend time on things that really benefit me
at my times of loneliness...or even when i am not...there's one thing i know for sure
God is and would always be there to lift me up..he's really my bestest friend..
now and forever
well..time to go back packing before i m the only one left in the house
=P
just came back from cell group which really steered me on the right track
many times i have become too concerned about things that doesn't really concern me..
its really just upsetting to know i could have spend time on things that really benefit me
at my times of loneliness...or even when i am not...there's one thing i know for sure
God is and would always be there to lift me up..he's really my bestest friend..
now and forever
well..time to go back packing before i m the only one left in the house
=P
Thursday, January 19, 2006
the unexplained
finally...its time to move...
after saying for so long that i moving house...i didn't really expect it to be so soon..
but there isnt much of a choice but to get everything packed and there at the new house by sun
hahas.....this is the first time i m shifting..and i realized how much i took so many things for granted
my room's in a big big huge pile of mess....files...books..papers...even toys..not mine...all over the floor...only left with a small little pathway to walk in and out....
oh ya...so glad my throat's inflammation gone by now...i never felt so horrible throughout my history of sickness la..fever thats high to make go dizzy..plus swelling throat that hurts when i drink water..super potent combination
praise God for his healing
now i can talk eat and drink like usual..but not too much
before i end up my bloggin here at my old house for the last time
i can't help but recall how my life was spent here in Redhill since i was born
10 things i remembered bout my house=)
1) my primary school was one min walk away from my house..its really fortunate not to walk so much when i was younger as i always tend to leave behind needed stuff at home
2) my house is near the main street..so at several occasions....we can hear the car accidents..when we hear the sudden skids following by a loud bang...all the neighbours would crowd at the corridor to check out the accident..a little kpo..but that's their past time..haha
3) when my dad went for army reservice..or is that how its spelled..which was like ten years ago
i would cuddle at the bed to sleep with my mom..
4) i used to get frightened by lightning...and would scream and run to my parents' room
but not ok?
5) i rmb that i dropped some file or something from the window once...ended up having to run downstairs to find it back before its stolen
6) i always eat the two hawker centres till i know which stall and where sells wat
will definitely miss the food here though
not much variety at the new place
7) i just love my house
8) its the place where i come to know God truly
9) its filled with that family warmth that words can't express =)
10) i'll miss it definitely
hahas.....quite out of point but i am looking forward to my new green room
with lots of space to put my stuff....
hopefully can get my buddies over when everything's settled
feel like something is turning complicated now....
feel a little down and that the people doesn't realize or just doesnt feel the way that i do
thank God for people like Joseph
shalt elaborate further
"many times circumstances might turn sour....things that might go wrong had all gone wrong"
"when ur life just seem so stressed, God comes to remind me lightly..its not all about this"
He who is me is GREATER than who he is in the world
my everlasting tower of refuge is in the Lord
nothing really compares with Him
cheer up friends!!!
we've a brighter day to look forward to
jurong west here i come..hahas
after saying for so long that i moving house...i didn't really expect it to be so soon..
but there isnt much of a choice but to get everything packed and there at the new house by sun
hahas.....this is the first time i m shifting..and i realized how much i took so many things for granted
my room's in a big big huge pile of mess....files...books..papers...even toys..not mine...all over the floor...only left with a small little pathway to walk in and out....
oh ya...so glad my throat's inflammation gone by now...i never felt so horrible throughout my history of sickness la..fever thats high to make go dizzy..plus swelling throat that hurts when i drink water..super potent combination
praise God for his healing
now i can talk eat and drink like usual..but not too much
before i end up my bloggin here at my old house for the last time
i can't help but recall how my life was spent here in Redhill since i was born
10 things i remembered bout my house=)
1) my primary school was one min walk away from my house..its really fortunate not to walk so much when i was younger as i always tend to leave behind needed stuff at home
2) my house is near the main street..so at several occasions....we can hear the car accidents..when we hear the sudden skids following by a loud bang...all the neighbours would crowd at the corridor to check out the accident..a little kpo..but that's their past time..haha
3) when my dad went for army reservice..or is that how its spelled..which was like ten years ago
i would cuddle at the bed to sleep with my mom..
4) i used to get frightened by lightning...and would scream and run to my parents' room
but not ok?
5) i rmb that i dropped some file or something from the window once...ended up having to run downstairs to find it back before its stolen
6) i always eat the two hawker centres till i know which stall and where sells wat
will definitely miss the food here though
not much variety at the new place
7) i just love my house
8) its the place where i come to know God truly
9) its filled with that family warmth that words can't express =)
10) i'll miss it definitely
hahas.....quite out of point but i am looking forward to my new green room
with lots of space to put my stuff....
hopefully can get my buddies over when everything's settled
feel like something is turning complicated now....
feel a little down and that the people doesn't realize or just doesnt feel the way that i do
thank God for people like Joseph
shalt elaborate further
"many times circumstances might turn sour....things that might go wrong had all gone wrong"
"when ur life just seem so stressed, God comes to remind me lightly..its not all about this"
He who is me is GREATER than who he is in the world
my everlasting tower of refuge is in the Lord
nothing really compares with Him
cheer up friends!!!
we've a brighter day to look forward to
jurong west here i come..hahas
Thursday, January 12, 2006
bracing myself
its really fast...i m now back in school and its already the second week
can't believe how the atmosphere of school is kinda different from last year...
this year seem so much more fast paced and stressful....and fun as well
although the workload didn't lessen or should i say it increased by quite an amount
i still feel that unexpressable joy
oh well...been really glad God's comforting me and holding me up
and in case u all haven realize...something real BIG happened at the staircase outside of the hall leading to the canteen...which cause a massive uproar and everyone laughed so hard we can roll on the floor
sorrie for being so evil..but know u're not hurt or anything can le
finally i m doing maths tutorials...thats kinda miraculous
econ's never ending work...better go work on it
tired and dread that feeling..but i m hanging on
so u guys gonna too rite?
=)
can't believe how the atmosphere of school is kinda different from last year...
this year seem so much more fast paced and stressful....and fun as well
although the workload didn't lessen or should i say it increased by quite an amount
i still feel that unexpressable joy
oh well...been really glad God's comforting me and holding me up
and in case u all haven realize...something real BIG happened at the staircase outside of the hall leading to the canteen...which cause a massive uproar and everyone laughed so hard we can roll on the floor
sorrie for being so evil..but know u're not hurt or anything can le
finally i m doing maths tutorials...thats kinda miraculous
econ's never ending work...better go work on it
tired and dread that feeling..but i m hanging on
so u guys gonna too rite?
=)
Tuesday, January 3, 2006
year 2006 =)
another brand new year awaits...2006's going to be really the best year yet
today's the first day of school....kinda anxious at first
but the whole day was just a constand bombardment on how near As are...how fast prelims and syllabus gonna end
stress la
somemore i still got 6 more days of online lessons to go for econs..
how can i make it?
God please help me
parents are getting edgy bout church stuff again
thk i better put more effort into my studies
report card was worst..somemore with such comments
if i still dun pull up my socks..i'll end up drowning
anyway...i am under severe girls oppression
hahas
karmen's oppressing me to carry stuff for her
oh well
just gotta relax or i'll just get depression
ARRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHH
hmm..not going to think bout it
just going to pray and leave it to God
he'll make a way when there seem to be no way
today's the first day of school....kinda anxious at first
but the whole day was just a constand bombardment on how near As are...how fast prelims and syllabus gonna end
stress la
somemore i still got 6 more days of online lessons to go for econs..
how can i make it?
God please help me
parents are getting edgy bout church stuff again
thk i better put more effort into my studies
report card was worst..somemore with such comments
if i still dun pull up my socks..i'll end up drowning
anyway...i am under severe girls oppression
hahas
karmen's oppressing me to carry stuff for her
oh well
just gotta relax or i'll just get depression
ARRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHH
hmm..not going to think bout it
just going to pray and leave it to God
he'll make a way when there seem to be no way
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
christmas and all it brings with it
merry merry christmas...a little early..but oh well
at least i still remembers bout it...let me recall
i truly felt so excited for christmas to come..and for me..to spend it at church was just great
on christmas eve....went for a family dinner at my aunt's house..yum yum...lots of food though i reached like at 8plus...but still have stuff like ham..satay...veggies..drinks..that special family warmth..yeah =)
the morning i woke up at 3am...a little horrified that i haven finish writing all the cards for my friends and cg..so sincere apologies ya..at least there's chocolate
the nite time is spend with family..my mom's bdae....=)
happy birthday mommie..u got a real special bdae..its christmas
really grateful to God for placing you in my life..though i know u're probably won't read this
but i love you =)
promise to be a little little bit more obedient in 2006
ahhas
at least i still remembers bout it...let me recall
i truly felt so excited for christmas to come..and for me..to spend it at church was just great
on christmas eve....went for a family dinner at my aunt's house..yum yum...lots of food though i reached like at 8plus...but still have stuff like ham..satay...veggies..drinks..that special family warmth..yeah =)
the morning i woke up at 3am...a little horrified that i haven finish writing all the cards for my friends and cg..so sincere apologies ya..at least there's chocolate
the nite time is spend with family..my mom's bdae....=)
happy birthday mommie..u got a real special bdae..its christmas
really grateful to God for placing you in my life..though i know u're probably won't read this
but i love you =)
promise to be a little little bit more obedient in 2006
ahhas
hahas...25th dec was yeah another power packed fun filled day
christmas drama just blew me away..i got reminded so strongly not to give up on God and that through this challenge i am facing..i'll become much more stronger through this
2005- my most negative year yet
but next year will never be like that
thanks alvin and hl for coming..u both really made my day
ahahs...the meteorite thing was cool rite?
though we sure have problem walking straight aft coming down from it..looks like we got a ride up and down from the sky
pretty scary ya..chee wei was screaming before the rides even gonna start..ahahahs
anyway my blog music not doing too good..so found another source for HUNG UP
okie..its just a temporary interest...but i can't stop listening to it..
homework is really like a mountain now...like only have 4 more days before all the hustle and bustle all begin again
know i really need to depend on God for the strength..he's my shelter amidst all the storms that are raging..
he's my all in all...=)
alot of people seem to be in their period nowadays..but i am telling myself i can't follow in that footstep
send my message to sorta expressed all the feelings i have been trying hard to relate
that's the minimum i can do ba
life's tough..but i am not giving up
joseph we both can do it for 2006 de
thanksgiving this fri
guys..its not me..nor u..or just a few of us..its everybody's effort
tired...i need another 2 weeks to ever read finish that econs online lesson
its neverending..the info are not meant for one day
freak
life goes on..
daughter..thanks...never fail to cheer me up at my down times
=)
school's gonna start..
we'll see wat happens next
trust..and be secure..and happy
Thursday, December 22, 2005
endurance test
this year christmas is just so different
i dun feel the warmth feelin that i usually do
that my whole life is being lightened up
instead i feel like i am tied to a rock of a tonne..
threatening to drown me as i struggle to stay afloat....
many times i ask myself if it is all worth it
is all my effort..time and pain all gonna work
are the people gonna see that we're all doing this for a common cause
i am not a administrator..
been reassuring myself...i am here for Him
doing all these for Him
easier said than done many times
when u're left alone with most of the things
where are the rest?
haha..wat a joke
my parents critcized and laughed..they scolded and nagged
and added on all the burdens of all the wat ifs..
motivation draining
isn't christmas suppose to be a joyous time where we spread the love of christ?
isn't the love meant to bring joy, happiness, light into the dark world
but to me it seem otherwise now
i dun care bout what other may think
i only noe if i dun say all these out
u'll never see me again
is it all worthwhile?
i dun feel the warmth feelin that i usually do
that my whole life is being lightened up
instead i feel like i am tied to a rock of a tonne..
threatening to drown me as i struggle to stay afloat....
many times i ask myself if it is all worth it
is all my effort..time and pain all gonna work
are the people gonna see that we're all doing this for a common cause
i am not a administrator..
been reassuring myself...i am here for Him
doing all these for Him
easier said than done many times
when u're left alone with most of the things
where are the rest?
haha..wat a joke
my parents critcized and laughed..they scolded and nagged
and added on all the burdens of all the wat ifs..
motivation draining
isn't christmas suppose to be a joyous time where we spread the love of christ?
isn't the love meant to bring joy, happiness, light into the dark world
but to me it seem otherwise now
i dun care bout what other may think
i only noe if i dun say all these out
u'll never see me again
is it all worthwhile?
Saturday, December 17, 2005
moving on..not looking back
this week up to now is truly hectic...or even crazy...been so caught up with so many things...
went to settle my dad's "travelling plan" problem with him yesterdae..truthfully..i feel that he's not at fault..
its hard to understand how adults think sometimes when facts just are just so clearly displayed..yet they'll fall prey to a set up trap
i am definitely pissed..and feel like just burning down that stupid place
my dad work so hard..coming home so late almost everyday from work...he sacrificed his sweat and blood just for paying a bunch of scumbags..who can't find a proper manner to work and earn decent money
hmph..its truly blood boiling...if i dun say bout all these..i am really not human
all along my dad's real careful with all the money that he spents...how he use to cut down on expenses when business just started out..how i got so worried when his income dip quite significantly..at the start of this year..when i finally realize how big that sum of money my dad's paying..i feel indignant
all the sweet talking....to get pple to join..makes me wanna puke..
all these pple better go get a life ba
enough of gettin angry over such useless freak..
God has said...he knows what we all go through and he will protect us from all attacks from the evil one..just got to take it as a pricey lesson that we learn from
shall not dwell on it further..it will probably shorten my life here
---------------------------------------------------------------------
my head's spinning so fast
i dun really think
perharps...i just need time to settle down..we both need ba
it hurts i have to admit..many times i have to stare at the sky..wondering why i have to go through all these
its my fault..totally....u just probably hope all these haven happen
i know i can never make it up or explain things clearly..sorrie if i dun reply or take so long
really is just lettin everything slow down and let me give it a deeper thought
dun want all these but i cant help it
i dun want to sink deeper..
glad we meet and talk things over
friends ya?
went to settle my dad's "travelling plan" problem with him yesterdae..truthfully..i feel that he's not at fault..
its hard to understand how adults think sometimes when facts just are just so clearly displayed..yet they'll fall prey to a set up trap
i am definitely pissed..and feel like just burning down that stupid place
my dad work so hard..coming home so late almost everyday from work...he sacrificed his sweat and blood just for paying a bunch of scumbags..who can't find a proper manner to work and earn decent money
hmph..its truly blood boiling...if i dun say bout all these..i am really not human
all along my dad's real careful with all the money that he spents...how he use to cut down on expenses when business just started out..how i got so worried when his income dip quite significantly..at the start of this year..when i finally realize how big that sum of money my dad's paying..i feel indignant
all the sweet talking....to get pple to join..makes me wanna puke..
all these pple better go get a life ba
enough of gettin angry over such useless freak..
God has said...he knows what we all go through and he will protect us from all attacks from the evil one..just got to take it as a pricey lesson that we learn from
shall not dwell on it further..it will probably shorten my life here
---------------------------------------------------------------------
my head's spinning so fast
i dun really think
perharps...i just need time to settle down..we both need ba
it hurts i have to admit..many times i have to stare at the sky..wondering why i have to go through all these
its my fault..totally....u just probably hope all these haven happen
i know i can never make it up or explain things clearly..sorrie if i dun reply or take so long
really is just lettin everything slow down and let me give it a deeper thought
dun want all these but i cant help it
i dun want to sink deeper..
glad we meet and talk things over
friends ya?
Monday, December 12, 2005
u know. happiness is a choice. u wake up every morning with 2 options. to be happy and optimistic and live each day happily. doing what u love. loving what u do. orr u could wake up feeling sad and depressed and dragged down by all ur problems.its ur choice.
thanks daughter =)
thanks daughter =)
reflection
spent the whole dae thinking what exactly i am going to do the remaining of the holis..
how am i going to spent the hard-earned pay
i need to sacrifice for building fund
and i also feel like just buying more new clothes
but the first comes first
he's the one that provided me with this job..i can always trust Him for the rest
thgt about how relationships with people has been for me
many times i tell myself...not to fall back into the same trap of love
but i always do otherwise
stupid dupid me
i can't control my emotions i know
i am flicker
but always i know i'll never commit anything that God doesn't want me to go into
truthfully
i need someone that's there with me....that's have the same belief as me
that love the God i do
i am not discriminating the rest but i can't help..God play such an important role in my life
if u love my God...
why are all these so complicated
perharps..i am not mature enough to handle all these
my past experiences can account for that
but silently i hope i'll meet that special one
love can't be rushed i know
it might hurt innocent friends of mine...i am utterly sorry sorry
but i dun want the hurt to grow even deeper
when did i end up thinking like this...i dun noe
but now i only want true friends..other than that i have no plans..and might never have plans..before God moves me to
i m takin a laidback attitude
God please have your way in me..
i have let ur name down...and i dun want history to repeat itself..
how am i going to spent the hard-earned pay
i need to sacrifice for building fund
and i also feel like just buying more new clothes
but the first comes first
he's the one that provided me with this job..i can always trust Him for the rest
thgt about how relationships with people has been for me
many times i tell myself...not to fall back into the same trap of love
but i always do otherwise
stupid dupid me
i can't control my emotions i know
i am flicker
but always i know i'll never commit anything that God doesn't want me to go into
truthfully
i need someone that's there with me....that's have the same belief as me
that love the God i do
i am not discriminating the rest but i can't help..God play such an important role in my life
if u love my God...
why are all these so complicated
perharps..i am not mature enough to handle all these
my past experiences can account for that
but silently i hope i'll meet that special one
love can't be rushed i know
it might hurt innocent friends of mine...i am utterly sorry sorry
but i dun want the hurt to grow even deeper
when did i end up thinking like this...i dun noe
but now i only want true friends..other than that i have no plans..and might never have plans..before God moves me to
i m takin a laidback attitude
God please have your way in me..
i have let ur name down...and i dun want history to repeat itself..
Saturday, December 10, 2005
we've moved
we're no longer moving...but we've moved to EXPO
although i actually been there along since last week working at warehouse sales
realized that i have become so uncle-like...always rushing to get the most worth it prices for bedsheets...shirts..oh no wat have i become
went for service aft that...though it was tiring to me...been standing and walking since morning...
was quite front..so managed to get good seats at the floor area..
with my pillow that i bought...super awkward
but all i can say was service was truly amazing
its not the change of venue..its not the addition of more crowd for one service..its not how big the hall is
i felt God's presence so strongly..after i have really prayed so hard for God to just touch me once again...
something is changing in the air...
my parents aren't making my life any easier..i felt suffocated..
but God is my abba father..all along i have been trying to live by own strength
i broke down and cried during the last part worship...something was stirring me up as flashes of the hurtful past just kept passing me by in my mind
how my the financial needs became so serious...i can't control my emotions for that particular time
how my grandpa passed away so suddenly
how my whole world seem to swirl non stop...almost drove me mad
he said that all these were there to test my faith..he'll never forsake or leave me
he's my eternal shelter...
how comforting and strong are these words
its truly life changin
dinner was funny..and mf still have sales filled to her head..she can't wait to find one aft another
need to wake up super early tml
nite..last dae of work...before i can settle down
deb's dreaming bout being a reindeer?
huiling hope service was good for u...and tell karmen i never even wanted to buy such goods for her la..its so sick..she can slap me
hahas..hope to meet up with my buddies soon..meanwhile take care have fun
=)
although i actually been there along since last week working at warehouse sales
realized that i have become so uncle-like...always rushing to get the most worth it prices for bedsheets...shirts..oh no wat have i become
went for service aft that...though it was tiring to me...been standing and walking since morning...
was quite front..so managed to get good seats at the floor area..
with my pillow that i bought...super awkward
but all i can say was service was truly amazing
its not the change of venue..its not the addition of more crowd for one service..its not how big the hall is
i felt God's presence so strongly..after i have really prayed so hard for God to just touch me once again...
something is changing in the air...
my parents aren't making my life any easier..i felt suffocated..
but God is my abba father..all along i have been trying to live by own strength
i broke down and cried during the last part worship...something was stirring me up as flashes of the hurtful past just kept passing me by in my mind
how my the financial needs became so serious...i can't control my emotions for that particular time
how my grandpa passed away so suddenly
how my whole world seem to swirl non stop...almost drove me mad
he said that all these were there to test my faith..he'll never forsake or leave me
he's my eternal shelter...
how comforting and strong are these words
its truly life changin
dinner was funny..and mf still have sales filled to her head..she can't wait to find one aft another
need to wake up super early tml
nite..last dae of work...before i can settle down
deb's dreaming bout being a reindeer?
huiling hope service was good for u...and tell karmen i never even wanted to buy such goods for her la..its so sick..she can slap me
hahas..hope to meet up with my buddies soon..meanwhile take care have fun
=)
Thursday, December 8, 2005
recounts..in time
28-30 dec
it was class cip time...really didn't noe what to expect there at first...all the rumours about noctorious kids...which will make u grab ur hair and stuff...it was kinda anxious reaching there
but all i can say now is that it was totally good..love it actually...
the first day was kinda like adjustment day when we all knew teaching them workshops will just definitely bore them to death and they'll start jumping climbing...screaming...so active k
sing for devotions seems like i was just singing to myself..hardly anyone was payin attention..some laughed..how nice la
second day was much better realised how cute my team kids are..and me and claire are the most slack team leaders around..with only 2 members most of the time..hahas
but i guess they need that specific attention coz u just can't make them sit down..
the games were fun...treasure hunt...soccer which got complicated...
love lunch time...hahas...it was the kids' time to eat and of course my turn to...was so tired and hungry by then
i did that "deep deep down down" action in front of all of them...the gals pointed and giggled madly...
i was called jie jie which i dun understand why...i dun even noe them well..but i got used to it
debbie became kor kor instead...=P
third day
best day...watched incredibles..chewed on cookies..yum...and wrote cards for the kids in my team...cute WJ and Rich..
miss them though..
x mas party was a feast...so much as though we're having buffet la...make me feel hungry thinking bout it
got pinched bout a super loud gal who constantly disturb and shook my chair during lunch like as though there was an earthquake..hmm but never mind she meant no harm..
left camp early to rush to work..been workin at john little expo for quite some time now
at first it was really dready wakin up so early to take train to the other end of the island..but now got used to it
its hard earning money..dad and mom..haha
been a loner for the past few days...after work just straight home...takeaway lunch on the way
its always so exhaustin though i only work short hours..but all that walking around made me legs muscles cramp like mad...ouch...torture but got to hang on...just 3 more days =)
been thinking about several issues that i knew i got to make choices and decisions in
church moved to expo..just returned from pm..was great to feel God's presence so strongly..reminding me that i am going on the next level..and that he is always with me
easier said than done..are many things...
i m truthfully tired....in all areas..
thoughts of just giving in..and whether it was all worth while just kept popping in my mind
need to get it all off...i'll find back that first love for Him
know next year won't be any easier or perharps much tougher year to come...balancing all that i have now aren't simple..i really need God
ARRH...how irritating sometimes
i know i am not serving for the sake of just doing it or to show it to others
but all that commitments..just drive so tensed up always...
sick i feel...only he can solve all these for me now...
i dun wanna screw up next year like i did now...
can't afford to
haiz
will someone understand?..maybe?...i have deprived my family severly of time that i spent with them
constantly out doing this and that..it never ends
i know i still love God
but i got to sort it out asap
dun wanna do anything to please anyone
reason why i love God?
because he's real to me..i can see him but i can feel his existence..
how he gave my life a purpose..how he was there for me when the world seems to be collapsing
who else can do that tell me?
who can assure you of a tomorrow that is in his control
its just that simple
no point saying ba
"i am not promising things that i know will not turn out right....i want it to be true and to last"
"its my fault...i lead it on..when i know i shouldn't...i am just gross out at what i do"
its selfish..but rather than hurting anyone
i am fine
it was class cip time...really didn't noe what to expect there at first...all the rumours about noctorious kids...which will make u grab ur hair and stuff...it was kinda anxious reaching there
but all i can say now is that it was totally good..love it actually...
the first day was kinda like adjustment day when we all knew teaching them workshops will just definitely bore them to death and they'll start jumping climbing...screaming...so active k
sing for devotions seems like i was just singing to myself..hardly anyone was payin attention..some laughed..how nice la
second day was much better realised how cute my team kids are..and me and claire are the most slack team leaders around..with only 2 members most of the time..hahas
but i guess they need that specific attention coz u just can't make them sit down..
the games were fun...treasure hunt...soccer which got complicated...
love lunch time...hahas...it was the kids' time to eat and of course my turn to...was so tired and hungry by then
i did that "deep deep down down" action in front of all of them...the gals pointed and giggled madly...
i was called jie jie which i dun understand why...i dun even noe them well..but i got used to it
debbie became kor kor instead...=P
third day
best day...watched incredibles..chewed on cookies..yum...and wrote cards for the kids in my team...cute WJ and Rich..
miss them though..
x mas party was a feast...so much as though we're having buffet la...make me feel hungry thinking bout it
got pinched bout a super loud gal who constantly disturb and shook my chair during lunch like as though there was an earthquake..hmm but never mind she meant no harm..
left camp early to rush to work..been workin at john little expo for quite some time now
at first it was really dready wakin up so early to take train to the other end of the island..but now got used to it
its hard earning money..dad and mom..haha
been a loner for the past few days...after work just straight home...takeaway lunch on the way
its always so exhaustin though i only work short hours..but all that walking around made me legs muscles cramp like mad...ouch...torture but got to hang on...just 3 more days =)
been thinking about several issues that i knew i got to make choices and decisions in
church moved to expo..just returned from pm..was great to feel God's presence so strongly..reminding me that i am going on the next level..and that he is always with me
easier said than done..are many things...
i m truthfully tired....in all areas..
thoughts of just giving in..and whether it was all worth while just kept popping in my mind
need to get it all off...i'll find back that first love for Him
know next year won't be any easier or perharps much tougher year to come...balancing all that i have now aren't simple..i really need God
ARRH...how irritating sometimes
i know i am not serving for the sake of just doing it or to show it to others
but all that commitments..just drive so tensed up always...
sick i feel...only he can solve all these for me now...
i dun wanna screw up next year like i did now...
can't afford to
haiz
will someone understand?..maybe?...i have deprived my family severly of time that i spent with them
constantly out doing this and that..it never ends
i know i still love God
but i got to sort it out asap
dun wanna do anything to please anyone
reason why i love God?
because he's real to me..i can see him but i can feel his existence..
how he gave my life a purpose..how he was there for me when the world seems to be collapsing
who else can do that tell me?
who can assure you of a tomorrow that is in his control
its just that simple
no point saying ba
"i am not promising things that i know will not turn out right....i want it to be true and to last"
"its my fault...i lead it on..when i know i shouldn't...i am just gross out at what i do"
its selfish..but rather than hurting anyone
i am fine
Friday, November 25, 2005
blessings
my bro gotten back his PSLE results yesterday...he scored real well...even BETTER than me..hahas
i m not jealous or anything
but when i first guessed the number..it was it...joshua, my youngest bro thgt i knew it before my parents...
but happy for him=)
Praise God!!!
then comes the choice of school....he seem quite urgent to choose it
fairfield?....thgt i grew up there...but think he could go up higher...
he suggested sji...hahas...he could well be keenan's junior...
i fell asleep before i could even help him make up the choices..the medicine makin me madly drowsy...dun seem to think logically
woke up like 4am...ate medicine..and started praying for God's will for my bro
felt so relieved it was the one the schools we all actually decided on..
so its off to first choice nan hua...so he can enjoy the SAP programme thingy..which i think will benefit him ba...lots of chinese...hahas....and its a mixed school
joseph constantly warned me to help him choose properly...its 4 years...and we understand if we get into some particular group of school and end up like "we all know"
thank God for speakin to me =)
yesterdae devotion prac was truly good..and funny...
hahas
going off to meet my buddies..haven seen jeremy for awhile...service at nite
bye
i m not jealous or anything
but when i first guessed the number..it was it...joshua, my youngest bro thgt i knew it before my parents...
but happy for him=)
Praise God!!!
then comes the choice of school....he seem quite urgent to choose it
fairfield?....thgt i grew up there...but think he could go up higher...
he suggested sji...hahas...he could well be keenan's junior...
i fell asleep before i could even help him make up the choices..the medicine makin me madly drowsy...dun seem to think logically
woke up like 4am...ate medicine..and started praying for God's will for my bro
felt so relieved it was the one the schools we all actually decided on..
so its off to first choice nan hua...so he can enjoy the SAP programme thingy..which i think will benefit him ba...lots of chinese...hahas....and its a mixed school
joseph constantly warned me to help him choose properly...its 4 years...and we understand if we get into some particular group of school and end up like "we all know"
thank God for speakin to me =)
yesterdae devotion prac was truly good..and funny...
hahas
going off to meet my buddies..haven seen jeremy for awhile...service at nite
bye
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
different experience
wow...looks like i haven blog for several days....but been real busy ba
had overnite prayer meetin on fri after service...though i know its gonna test me physically, mentally and spiritually..i really enjoyed the time which i can pray about everything that i have been wanting to bring forward to God...all the needs, my cries, hurts, joy...i feel God's presence very strongly many times...
understand the importance of seeking aft his presence...and that in his presence, the world would grow strangely dim...all i see is his love, power and glory
heard God tellin me to step out more for him...encouraged me with my cell group members....and remind me not to give up in this faith run with Him
realized that i have at many times wanted to throw in the towel, wanted to tell myself "i won't be able to handle all these"
how can i cope with so much commitments...like ushering, cg helper....i would be tempted to just return to the world...
but now God has showed me that his grace is sufficient for me....he is calling me to hang on his promises....trials and tribulations will surely come..but the one that comes out through these valleys are the true children of God
God has renewed my faith...i'll now look to him whenever i feel weak
thank you Jesus =)
alot of things gonna happen for the next few weeks...first the outreach, next class cip from mon to wed..then immediately i'll start work.....both looking forward and also a little fearful...
but perfect love casts out fear...that i'll rmb
been feeling very ill for the past two days...fever going on and off...felt horrible...wanted to vomit...had some ulcers in my throat...coz too heaty le..got to practise abstainence from all forms of fried, oily food..means no more chocolate cookies, no more fastfood...arrrh..but got no choice...
God heal me
happy birthday claire...know its kinda early...think i might not be able to lunch with you all tml le..still not feeling too good..so enjoy urself ya?...
had overnite prayer meetin on fri after service...though i know its gonna test me physically, mentally and spiritually..i really enjoyed the time which i can pray about everything that i have been wanting to bring forward to God...all the needs, my cries, hurts, joy...i feel God's presence very strongly many times...
understand the importance of seeking aft his presence...and that in his presence, the world would grow strangely dim...all i see is his love, power and glory
heard God tellin me to step out more for him...encouraged me with my cell group members....and remind me not to give up in this faith run with Him
realized that i have at many times wanted to throw in the towel, wanted to tell myself "i won't be able to handle all these"
how can i cope with so much commitments...like ushering, cg helper....i would be tempted to just return to the world...
but now God has showed me that his grace is sufficient for me....he is calling me to hang on his promises....trials and tribulations will surely come..but the one that comes out through these valleys are the true children of God
God has renewed my faith...i'll now look to him whenever i feel weak
thank you Jesus =)
alot of things gonna happen for the next few weeks...first the outreach, next class cip from mon to wed..then immediately i'll start work.....both looking forward and also a little fearful...
but perfect love casts out fear...that i'll rmb
been feeling very ill for the past two days...fever going on and off...felt horrible...wanted to vomit...had some ulcers in my throat...coz too heaty le..got to practise abstainence from all forms of fried, oily food..means no more chocolate cookies, no more fastfood...arrrh..but got no choice...
God heal me
happy birthday claire...know its kinda early...think i might not be able to lunch with you all tml le..still not feeling too good..so enjoy urself ya?...
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
really long day
phew...woke up in the morning..to at first head to sentosa for karmen's bdae...but weather aren't too good..so ended up going to city hall
once i step into it...the feeling of uneasiness just seem to creep in...like i just wanna get out of it..wierd that after one whole year...its still like that
pardon me....but the sun's outing really left me reflecting alot...aft hearing wat mf said..
ARRH...is it that hard to find someone that understands?...maybe thats all in God's plan ba
now i really start to spend much more time bonding with my cg pple..the place where everyone views each other equally...the place which there's no need for pretense...thats exactly how i can feel comfortable to be what i am
left kinda early from the class outing cum celebration.anyway..
HAPPY BDAE KARMEN...
cheer up..and really enjoy the holis..will keep u in prayers =)
the job interview was quite a eye opener...so many people went..even met karen
really hope to be able to secure the job..trusting in God to supply my needs..
thats wat keeps me going...
been so busy spending so much on going out..its time to stop and cut back
tabernacle bs was great...though it ended late...had some tense situations..but its all about our emotions...thank God for the cell and everyone thats in it..including the leader
yup...we must stay united and support each to overcome any trials that may come our way...everyone have a role to play ya...
its gettin real late..
nitez
once i step into it...the feeling of uneasiness just seem to creep in...like i just wanna get out of it..wierd that after one whole year...its still like that
pardon me....but the sun's outing really left me reflecting alot...aft hearing wat mf said..
ARRH...is it that hard to find someone that understands?...maybe thats all in God's plan ba
now i really start to spend much more time bonding with my cg pple..the place where everyone views each other equally...the place which there's no need for pretense...thats exactly how i can feel comfortable to be what i am
left kinda early from the class outing cum celebration.anyway..
HAPPY BDAE KARMEN...
cheer up..and really enjoy the holis..will keep u in prayers =)
the job interview was quite a eye opener...so many people went..even met karen
really hope to be able to secure the job..trusting in God to supply my needs..
thats wat keeps me going...
been so busy spending so much on going out..its time to stop and cut back
tabernacle bs was great...though it ended late...had some tense situations..but its all about our emotions...thank God for the cell and everyone thats in it..including the leader
yup...we must stay united and support each to overcome any trials that may come our way...everyone have a role to play ya...
its gettin real late..
nitez
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Personality Test
| Your Personality Is |
You are sensible, down to earth, and goal oriented.Bottom line, you are good at playing by the rules. You tend to be dominant - and you are a natural leader.You are interested in rules and order. Morals are important to you. A hard worker, you give your all at whatever you do.You're very serious, and people often tell you to lighten up. In love, you tend to take things carefully and slowly. At work, you are suited to almost any career - but you excel in leadership positions. With others, you tend to be polite and formal. As far as looks go, you are traditionally attractive. You take good care of yourself. On weekends, you tend to like to do organized activities. In fact, you often organize them! |
The Three Question Personality Test
Wednesday, November 9, 2005
true glory
pw trial todae.....was not bad except that the video refuses to make noises...that why everything seem kinda dull...great work todae pple..thk we all presented our best...our trials till at nite didn't go to waste...too bad we can bring jolene's dog..hahas
i m so worn out....like since the holidays started i hardly had time to sit down and rest....morning out..nite return..
but sermon was great last wk..."people who show true glory are constant tired"
thats something that keeps me goin
thanks pple who's going for sun's maestro monopoly..i m sure it will be fun =)
didn't noe can form one team from the class..so see ya on sun
will let u noe the details later
tml's bio olympiad...emm..but there's far too much to read up in a few days.
i probably need a few months...haha
one thousand mcqs sound terrifying..but just goin for the experience ba
pw needs major revamp..arrh..really hope this fri is the finalised meeting le....so jiayou
[praying hard to get the job]
i m so worn out....like since the holidays started i hardly had time to sit down and rest....morning out..nite return..
but sermon was great last wk..."people who show true glory are constant tired"
thats something that keeps me goin
thanks pple who's going for sun's maestro monopoly..i m sure it will be fun =)
didn't noe can form one team from the class..so see ya on sun
will let u noe the details later
tml's bio olympiad...emm..but there's far too much to read up in a few days.
i probably need a few months...haha
one thousand mcqs sound terrifying..but just goin for the experience ba
pw needs major revamp..arrh..really hope this fri is the finalised meeting le....so jiayou
[praying hard to get the job]
Monday, November 7, 2005
just another day
todae is one tired day....in the morning woke up late as i slept late
bought my brother to school before headin to pw meeting...and
guess what it ended at 9.10pm like that
i just like reach home half an hour ago
time just past in a flash...if we were to trial another round...it will be midnite
=( sleepy but glad we all put in our best effort..
aft 14th...its ALL over
first 3 months outing was cool though only a few pple turn up..we had fun...especially bowling..
after not playing for so long
great to meet clara, fungi, darren after so long
i did have any round that the ball got into the drain and i get 0...thats a miracle..hahas
next sun is the maestro monopoly...christine remember to get debbie to come run
but dun tell her what i told u...hahas
too fatigue le
good nite
bought my brother to school before headin to pw meeting...and
guess what it ended at 9.10pm like that
i just like reach home half an hour ago
time just past in a flash...if we were to trial another round...it will be midnite
=( sleepy but glad we all put in our best effort..
aft 14th...its ALL over
first 3 months outing was cool though only a few pple turn up..we had fun...especially bowling..
after not playing for so long
great to meet clara, fungi, darren after so long
i did have any round that the ball got into the drain and i get 0...thats a miracle..hahas
next sun is the maestro monopoly...christine remember to get debbie to come run
but dun tell her what i told u...hahas
too fatigue le
good nite
Thursday, November 3, 2005
beat but lookin forward
todae's one crazy dae...went sengkang....finally realized there's a huge shopping centre over there...so much for that amazement...
oh ya...tue's bible study is a totally a wake up call for me..
reminded me of the importance of water baptism and how the devil no longer have control over us...=) how simple yet deep revelation..
i got squashed by keenan peg and shawn..nearly fainted during praise and worship but its all worth it
gotta start living afresh..
anyway..back to todae...ended up takin bus all the way to clementi...the whole trip was super long...i couldn't fall asleep
managed to have dinner at JP and tasted that big huge cup of coffee from the foodcourt...great...hahhas...
though the next two weeks will be yet another packed schedule weeks....i m joyful that it means a more steps towards knowing God and his people...
it is easy to say the truth....i have to make it clear...because i m not doing anything wrong...
"the truth shall see the light"
many things though said to comfort..without showing it...it meant nothing
perharps thats something i have to come to terms with..
jeremy and john...we're suppose to meet up soon!?!?
how random...mf's gonna take up my next two fri...because its her birthday..is that fair?..hahas
still stuck with that OP slides..its depriving me of all my nice sleep..tml still need to reach amk at 9.45am wonder how i can wake up
yeah
oh ya...tue's bible study is a totally a wake up call for me..
reminded me of the importance of water baptism and how the devil no longer have control over us...=) how simple yet deep revelation..
i got squashed by keenan peg and shawn..nearly fainted during praise and worship but its all worth it
gotta start living afresh..
anyway..back to todae...ended up takin bus all the way to clementi...the whole trip was super long...i couldn't fall asleep
managed to have dinner at JP and tasted that big huge cup of coffee from the foodcourt...great...hahhas...
though the next two weeks will be yet another packed schedule weeks....i m joyful that it means a more steps towards knowing God and his people...
it is easy to say the truth....i have to make it clear...because i m not doing anything wrong...
"the truth shall see the light"
many things though said to comfort..without showing it...it meant nothing
perharps thats something i have to come to terms with..
jeremy and john...we're suppose to meet up soon!?!?
how random...mf's gonna take up my next two fri...because its her birthday..is that fair?..hahas
still stuck with that OP slides..its depriving me of all my nice sleep..tml still need to reach amk at 9.45am wonder how i can wake up
yeah
Monday, October 31, 2005
rest and think
hooray...the feeling of holidays just totally great...although there's still alot of commitments and activities in school and church...at least not every day i'll have to crawl out of bed in the morning
todae chinese...was alrite...not too easy...for the first time i can't wait for it to be over..
went ps and later heeren...with the clique pple...
lunch wasn't exactly delicious but liked the bread...still have that strong chessy smell stuck in my throat..
EHHH =(
finally i can have time to pack up my room and throw away stuff no longer needed...before i move...everything's like in a mess now
many different feelings in my mind now...kinda puzzled by the things going on around me..
things that i heard from fairfield bout school now.....seems all so real to me now..
all that temptations to just "fit in"...at the end of the dae...u should ask whether its all worth it?
i would say no..thats why this is just a transition time for me
for many things i can't say that i would not fall back into...
especially relationships
i can reverse things in the past..but things in the future...my future is the consequence of my actions todae..
but now i know...its God thats the one that leads me..
for now all i want is Him..if u truly noe me..u'll get my point..
its sad that many times pple dun understand what i had to go through..all they see is what the other party feels..
many times i actually didn't want that turn of events but when it comes i just got to accept it
i m not having a good time either
all i want is my friends..
ones that inspires me to love God more each dae
all this i pray
todae chinese...was alrite...not too easy...for the first time i can't wait for it to be over..
went ps and later heeren...with the clique pple...
lunch wasn't exactly delicious but liked the bread...still have that strong chessy smell stuck in my throat..
EHHH =(
finally i can have time to pack up my room and throw away stuff no longer needed...before i move...everything's like in a mess now
many different feelings in my mind now...kinda puzzled by the things going on around me..
things that i heard from fairfield bout school now.....seems all so real to me now..
all that temptations to just "fit in"...at the end of the dae...u should ask whether its all worth it?
i would say no..thats why this is just a transition time for me
for many things i can't say that i would not fall back into...
especially relationships
i can reverse things in the past..but things in the future...my future is the consequence of my actions todae..
but now i know...its God thats the one that leads me..
for now all i want is Him..if u truly noe me..u'll get my point..
its sad that many times pple dun understand what i had to go through..all they see is what the other party feels..
many times i actually didn't want that turn of events but when it comes i just got to accept it
i m not having a good time either
all i want is my friends..
ones that inspires me to love God more each dae
all this i pray
Saturday, October 22, 2005
the place i let things go
finally...fri came...although i wasn't exactly anticipating for it to come...i know sooner or later i'll have to get it back and accept it..
was super nervous while gettin back each paper one by one...prayed that i'll do alrite for econs and thats the only one i did
felt a little numb as i stare at the grades..econs got a C which is unexpected but my bio was really very badly done..i should start reflecting man
the whole day..most of the pple are just engulfed in this dark dark atmosphere where we just discuss wat subject to drop....how i wish i can keep my 4 subs but now its kinda late to say this
"did i not put in enough effort?....did i just couldn't understand?.....how can i do better?"i was quietly questioning myself...
i think i have been too used to life in Fairfield....its time to wake up to the truth that everything aren't that relaxing and easy anymore....seriously need effort to get results..
pple in the class were just either pleased or severly disappointed...
one year of JC has ended in such a manner...
thank God i pick myself up...
met joseph and john for our usual "dover lunch"
its amazing how they can just make me so relaxed and take my mind of worrying for unnecessary stuff..
great buddies..
anyway...u guys including jem...this is not the end ya?....we will make till the As de...thats for the sd2 pple too
went home to blast the marion raven cd...trying to drown my sorrows in even sader songs...
didn't noe how to ans my parents so just kept quiet in case i create more problems by replying...
sermon was sorta of sent from God...
reminded that God's grace is sufficient for me...and that i can be a pillar in watever situation
2005 has been the most horrible...full of trials and obstacles year of my life i can say..though the year haven even ended...
but i will rmb that everything is in God's hands and i can just fall into his arms to trust Him to hold me on...=)
happy bdae cheryl...at least have a bdae greeting left on my blog
i need friends for a lifetime..thats all i wanted
was super nervous while gettin back each paper one by one...prayed that i'll do alrite for econs and thats the only one i did
felt a little numb as i stare at the grades..econs got a C which is unexpected but my bio was really very badly done..i should start reflecting man
the whole day..most of the pple are just engulfed in this dark dark atmosphere where we just discuss wat subject to drop....how i wish i can keep my 4 subs but now its kinda late to say this
"did i not put in enough effort?....did i just couldn't understand?.....how can i do better?"i was quietly questioning myself...
i think i have been too used to life in Fairfield....its time to wake up to the truth that everything aren't that relaxing and easy anymore....seriously need effort to get results..
pple in the class were just either pleased or severly disappointed...
one year of JC has ended in such a manner...
thank God i pick myself up...
met joseph and john for our usual "dover lunch"
its amazing how they can just make me so relaxed and take my mind of worrying for unnecessary stuff..
great buddies..
anyway...u guys including jem...this is not the end ya?....we will make till the As de...thats for the sd2 pple too
went home to blast the marion raven cd...trying to drown my sorrows in even sader songs...
didn't noe how to ans my parents so just kept quiet in case i create more problems by replying...
sermon was sorta of sent from God...
reminded that God's grace is sufficient for me...and that i can be a pillar in watever situation
2005 has been the most horrible...full of trials and obstacles year of my life i can say..though the year haven even ended...
but i will rmb that everything is in God's hands and i can just fall into his arms to trust Him to hold me on...=)
happy bdae cheryl...at least have a bdae greeting left on my blog
i need friends for a lifetime..thats all i wanted
Saturday, October 15, 2005
a day in the sun
todae is cell group outing day....but not everyone finished their exams le..so those who have papers muz jiayou ya?we'll be praying for u....woke up with a bad headache...at first thgt i won't be able to make it le...then yeah...was muz better later on..
but the time i reach...some of them already left to cycle le..so left mx,jt,keenan and darrell...
the most crazy part was when we start to pull each other into the salty waters of siloso beach...
everyone was so afraid of the water..but in the end no one can escape except merrien..not even poor issac...
swam across to the man made rocks thing to just climb up to see the view..that cool windy and yet salty wind just made u loosen up so much =)
i forgotten to bring my towel as i left so hurriedly in the morning...that was not the worse...
jeanie,ms,jt went to play the lugh (is it spelled like that?) wanted to play but i was really broke
met joseph at town later...though i was kinda worn out but it was great...
realize how many things that any friendship can face..u name it..it might take place...at many times it seem so fragile...like how someone can be ur friend for one moment..the next moment when u need help he or she disappear from ur presence..wat friends are that?...
so many things if we can just sit there and think...i can gurantee nothing would happen...
if u feel that things are getting too wishy washy...clear it!do something!
now it the time for me to really get right with God for my friends...the basic building block is trust and being open and honest always....
hey...we muz have another buddies outing again next week...we haven all met together yet
looking for God's guidance and hiding under His wings for comfort =)
but the time i reach...some of them already left to cycle le..so left mx,jt,keenan and darrell...
the most crazy part was when we start to pull each other into the salty waters of siloso beach...
everyone was so afraid of the water..but in the end no one can escape except merrien..not even poor issac...
swam across to the man made rocks thing to just climb up to see the view..that cool windy and yet salty wind just made u loosen up so much =)
i forgotten to bring my towel as i left so hurriedly in the morning...that was not the worse...
jeanie,ms,jt went to play the lugh (is it spelled like that?) wanted to play but i was really broke
met joseph at town later...though i was kinda worn out but it was great...
realize how many things that any friendship can face..u name it..it might take place...at many times it seem so fragile...like how someone can be ur friend for one moment..the next moment when u need help he or she disappear from ur presence..wat friends are that?...
so many things if we can just sit there and think...i can gurantee nothing would happen...
if u feel that things are getting too wishy washy...clear it!do something!
now it the time for me to really get right with God for my friends...the basic building block is trust and being open and honest always....
hey...we muz have another buddies outing again next week...we haven all met together yet
looking for God's guidance and hiding under His wings for comfort =)
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
i dun know
hey...i think its time for me to revive my dead blog...haven like blog for one whole month...
anyway...there's like so much that happen over this whole month
i m still so glad promos are over....its was just a misery..now i just got to trust Him for the results..i just wanna promote please
truthfully i was totally not in the mood to prepare for the papers......can remember how i can just pause a few min before the paper to think bout stuff...i m out of my mind
its true that this whole year has been like a rollercoaster for me...went through all kinds of ups and downs...God really enlarge my faith even i fall and fail so many times
he's faithful....
now just praying for my aunt,godma....still can't accept that she's a totally different person...its always sad to see my loved ones suffering and gettin hurt
has stop asking why but instead how is God going to work through all these
todae's a crazy day....got the last min msg from john that they're going jem's house..
at first thgt couldn't meet them le....but really glad still manage to in the end
and i can't seem to find that swim trunks that i saw before...oops..not suppose to say that
the four buddies haven met for ages...its like we last went out together last year
that feeling of being just so comfortable and free with them...even crapping or just staring blankly in the air wouldn't matter
i think that's what best friends are...haha
as usual we're up to our usual teasing and laughing at each other..and of coz i m always the target..
we played tennis...i feel totally ashamed of myself aft the whole game..was just busy hitting balls out of the court's fence...=P
soon will be charged by jem
went dinner at town...wasn't that pleasant especially if u have to eat carbon filled fried chicken..now feel sick coz of it...but we dumbly finish most of it...think we're starving madly
hahas...
holidays is meant for family and friends...and to buy new stuff for the new house..yeah
going to spend it to clear up alot of things that been happening...need to be truthful and free =)
cell group beach outing on sat....=)
anyway...there's like so much that happen over this whole month
i m still so glad promos are over....its was just a misery..now i just got to trust Him for the results..i just wanna promote please
truthfully i was totally not in the mood to prepare for the papers......can remember how i can just pause a few min before the paper to think bout stuff...i m out of my mind
its true that this whole year has been like a rollercoaster for me...went through all kinds of ups and downs...God really enlarge my faith even i fall and fail so many times
he's faithful....
now just praying for my aunt,godma....still can't accept that she's a totally different person...its always sad to see my loved ones suffering and gettin hurt
has stop asking why but instead how is God going to work through all these
todae's a crazy day....got the last min msg from john that they're going jem's house..
at first thgt couldn't meet them le....but really glad still manage to in the end
and i can't seem to find that swim trunks that i saw before...oops..not suppose to say that
the four buddies haven met for ages...its like we last went out together last year
that feeling of being just so comfortable and free with them...even crapping or just staring blankly in the air wouldn't matter
i think that's what best friends are...haha
as usual we're up to our usual teasing and laughing at each other..and of coz i m always the target..
we played tennis...i feel totally ashamed of myself aft the whole game..was just busy hitting balls out of the court's fence...=P
soon will be charged by jem
went dinner at town...wasn't that pleasant especially if u have to eat carbon filled fried chicken..now feel sick coz of it...but we dumbly finish most of it...think we're starving madly
hahas...
holidays is meant for family and friends...and to buy new stuff for the new house..yeah
going to spend it to clear up alot of things that been happening...need to be truthful and free =)
cell group beach outing on sat....=)
Thursday, September 8, 2005
we only have one chance
everything's kinda settled and over....but for me i just can't seem to put it behind..images of how we followed the funeral procession..how we just can't help to cry..even my little brother did though he wasn't sure what's really happening...realize how short and precious life is...better do what u always wanna..dun live in regret..
i had enough
dun talk bout studies, dun talk bout work
i am like a small boat losing its direction when a wave come head on and make me drift away
nothing seems to matter to me now
i had enough
dun talk bout studies, dun talk bout work
i am like a small boat losing its direction when a wave come head on and make me drift away
nothing seems to matter to me now
Friday, September 2, 2005
a tribute to my "ah gong"
i dun really noe how to start but i am still so shocked that so many things happen within the past few days...when i heard that he had a fall and was rushed to a&e...flashes of the previous incident at changi hosp creeped up my mind
totally anxious for his safety
i miss him already..so so much
all the family members were so worried that my mom and the aunties broke down in tears
when the doc said that he suffer serious brain damage
my heart sank
i kept praying and crying out to God to bring healing to his life
to keep him with us....everything's just too sudden
i can't accept it
tried to hold on to my tears but when i held him with my hands while he laid unconscious on the hosp bed to pray for him
tears just flow down
i feel so hurt lookin at him undergoing so much suffering
my life lost direction for a moment
i could always recall how i grew up with my grandparents from nursery
how he will always hold me by the hand to the bakery to buy bread
how he will be so strict to scold me for making noise or just not following table rules
i can never forget how the family used to gather many times for dinner together
how he will always crack jokes to disturb my grandma
how me and my grandparents used to wake up very early in the morning which i dun wish to, to go to the nearby riverside for a walk or to exercise
how i always like to wait till 3pm which is our tea time and me and my cousins would pester them to bring us down for toast and coffee
i remember hearing my mom said stories bout him working so hard to support the family of 8 in the past
i prayed and asked that he'll wake up again like he would
but life's not predictable
i miss him alot
know no amount of tears or unhappiness would bring him back
ah gong know that i love u...and i am sure u want us to be happy and to move on
totally anxious for his safety
i miss him already..so so much
all the family members were so worried that my mom and the aunties broke down in tears
when the doc said that he suffer serious brain damage
my heart sank
i kept praying and crying out to God to bring healing to his life
to keep him with us....everything's just too sudden
i can't accept it
tried to hold on to my tears but when i held him with my hands while he laid unconscious on the hosp bed to pray for him
tears just flow down
i feel so hurt lookin at him undergoing so much suffering
my life lost direction for a moment
i could always recall how i grew up with my grandparents from nursery
how he will always hold me by the hand to the bakery to buy bread
how he will be so strict to scold me for making noise or just not following table rules
i can never forget how the family used to gather many times for dinner together
how he will always crack jokes to disturb my grandma
how me and my grandparents used to wake up very early in the morning which i dun wish to, to go to the nearby riverside for a walk or to exercise
how i always like to wait till 3pm which is our tea time and me and my cousins would pester them to bring us down for toast and coffee
i remember hearing my mom said stories bout him working so hard to support the family of 8 in the past
i prayed and asked that he'll wake up again like he would
but life's not predictable
i miss him alot
know no amount of tears or unhappiness would bring him back
ah gong know that i love u...and i am sure u want us to be happy and to move on
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