the dream and the inspiration

2010-09-21T18:00:00.001+08:00

SHIFTED:

greywhiteblack.tumblr.com

time to bid farewell to blogspot.

it shall remain as the faithful storage of good memories.

2010-09-19T21:11:00.001+08:00

the unusual sunday afternoon.

2010-08-26T23:25:00.002+08:00

Train journeys serve as important pitstops in life.

Quiet, reflective moments after a day's hustle and bustle.

The soft mood of the commuters, yearning to be back in the comfort of their homes is evident.

Leads me to ask what was my persistence for?

Do I already know the end result, or am I just too narrow in my vision.

Perhaps I should take the initiative.

With the 20 pages reading assignment at the back of my mind.

This sem seems to begin with a very different atmosphere.

Guess that a year in school has shaped my perceptions n values in a certain manner.

Feels like I have grown up to take on something more.

Keep the fire burning.

2010-08-09T01:22:00.000+08:00

the very much needed shaking.

to shake out what should leave and strengthen those that stayed thru it all.

am figuring the way out of this thick fog with no clear directions ahead

we don't deserve it.

i am absolutely certain.

it will be long before i would be able to look up to and acknowledge as it is.

what is more important? the truth of the matter or the people who are involved.

are we not of more value than words.

let the one that is faultless be the first to judge.

increase my wisdom, break me down.

for without, its impossible to go on.

said a prayer today.

2010-08-06T02:25:00.000+08:00

pls support! (free advert for friend)

papier-kleed.livejournal.com

2010-08-06T02:10:00.005+08:00

school has unofficially begun. the need for adjustment to sudden hectic lifestyle and coping with the lack of sleep.

especially when the group seems a lot more talented and capable, my own limits are being stretched mentally. (even before class officially start)

learnt today that we often look out for our very own needs through our day to day interactions with the people around us. and many times, being so ignorant to our own actions and the consequences.

we end up getting hurt by our very own actions.

are my needs driving me to becoming more self centered?

its so easy to lose our focus while travelling.
keep a picture of the final destination by our side.

rather stray for awhile longer then never be able to get there.

and yes, the poor service by Starhub, delaying the request repeatedly has left me with the buggy windows mobile phone ~~(restarting twice a day and i can dump it right now)~~ here to haunt me for a few more days (hopefully).

2010-07-24T18:14:00.003+08:00

blogger is acting up again. perhaps its time to change to tumblr or something more intuitive.

been feeling like i am living on the edge. getting easily irritable, and hoping to interact lesser with others.

brings me back to the point that blind compliance is not commitment. actions speak louder than words, knowingly or unknowingly. we often allow words to just replace all the necessary actions.

it is tedious to go on being aware of how imperfect people can be. are we just watching life go by without questioning the purpose.

the love would not sustain without the required intervention, without one that we can actually call friend.

the much needed change.

simple things, where have you gone.

2010-07-07T01:19:00.000+08:00

guys' tees for sale

@ takeonepeek.tumblr.com

22 bucks each.

leave a comment if you're interested :)

2010-06-29T01:33:00.004+08:00

leopard prints anyone?

Sydney's demonstration of a vibrant arts scene.

2010-06-29T01:28:00.001+08:00

being back to work, just brings to my mind the fact private time is really very much treasured.

but with the consideration that i can just expect free lunches to show up, or for the matter of the fact.

rely even more on parents.

the irony of working to improve lives. guess that's where the balance comes in.

many times, or rather most of the times.

bad things happen at the most unexpected timings, and they come one after another.

saying trust is simple.

not looking fwd to tml, other than the fact i can dress down.

words unspoken, and emotions unexpressed.

history do not need to repeat itself to prove its point.

come back down to earth and acknowledge the reality of the current scenario.

make the choice today.

2010-06-26T01:06:00.003+08:00

a note for celebration.

and just really grateful for the provision.

now it's back to formal wear for work. (not counting the fact that i spent even before starting work)

and the ever so messed up deferment.

can only say that the past two weeks had been just the best rest i've ever had.

for a really long while.

would have been better if i could sleep lesser, and actually spend some time on the 'creative' stuff.

annnddd the marina bay sands resort is apparently rather famous.

well, with such views, it does deserve an applause.

(copyright: reuters)

thru this week, realized how certain people and things would change with time.

and many times, our perception now is so different. then say a year back.

but the truth being, we all cling all to various aspects of the past.

not that memories aint precious, but sometimes moving forward is the better and only way.

i've gotta be clear bout it myself.

2010-06-16T02:47:00.003+08:00

a pure heart, that's what i long for.

the past few days spent to seek after His presence.

what can be more important than to get right within.

to see things thru His eyes once again.

i understood how weak I am, with my own strength.

it doesn't matter if the things on the agenda aint met.

what matters is i am standing right.

now with a clearer vision, i am able to seek the right directions.

ever so grateful for the grace and mercy.

looking fwd to a fulfilling day catching up on sketch, aki books and what not.

side note : had a great dinner at a ~~pleasant little cafe~~ KICHN at albert hotel.

2010-06-12T02:32:00.003+08:00

back from a rather fulfilling trip.

am reminded that the possibility of such a trip diminishes when we grow older, with school getting busier by the day. and before we all know it. work sets in and it will be no return.

truly treasure the opportunity to just spend time out with some pals, to just wander around.

willing to risk getting lost, which we did indeed throughout the trip.

(which the yellow vehicles always come in handy, being typical singaporeans)

its the fifth time back there, and i guess its time for something new.

though there's something nostalgic there, and perhaps i just wish for some form of controlled chaos of life. not a place where everything is pretty much ordered, and to a certain degree lack of human expression.(which isn't something out rightly negative)

but thru this trip, did see that form of emptiness that existed in the hearts of pple.

maybe it was just something that all city dwellers would experience.

in conclusion, thank God for his provision and protection thru it all.

excited bout the things that are about to come.

including finding a new job. haha.

2010-05-25T00:51:00.001+08:00

had dinner with zak before he heads soon to ulu pandan tekong.

if he's ever reading this. do hope you take care and have fun there!

yes, it's possible to make some fun out of that mundane life. look forward to first book out!

body's feeling the heat of late night, and lack of consideration for a proper diet. been eating all kinds of junk and finally the body reached it's threshold.

terrible feeling, felt so helpless. just so thankful i wasnt alone.

coming week looms with all the most significant events of this month or even first half of the year.

please let me be well enough for ippt on wed.

and let AC be such a fulfilling time :)

2010-05-13T16:10:00.002+08:00

is the dream all worth the sacrifice.

in the pursue of something, a goal, an ambition.

a hope for a change.

but along the way, we'll get tripped over. fall flat in our faces

slightly bruised, start crying perhaps.

the strong desire to just throw in the towel.

only know at such times, i seek no personal advices from anyone.

but just pray.

remind myself what is the promise.

even if it tarry, it will surely come to pass.

after yesterday's criticism about my model in comparison with the rest.

i do know there's lots of room for improvement.

the effort (which i previously thought was great) is still insufficient.

not that looking forward to the release of results, just trusting for a chance to advance.

keep trying. again and again. and again.

2010-05-06T06:31:00.001+08:00

Checklist for today:

1) Redo model for sunday

2) Pulpit design model

3) Portfolio

~~4) Sleep~~

focus and get moving.

certain this is the final lousy week.

2010-04-26T21:52:00.002+08:00

i know i shouldn't be doing this right now.

but today was just not going right, and perhaps writing this will help me to focus once again.

had the first paper on climate, and it was sincerely.

nothing short of a nightmare.

fifteen minutes for the last 2 out of 5 questions aint a joke.

can't draw without trembling.

haha.

well. at least it's over.

and yes, learning not to regret.

there are some lessons learnt unknowingly.
learn to say no, even if it offends inevitably.

3 more days!

2010-04-23T23:14:00.000+08:00

been spending most of the days revising, and most of it alone.

kinda like how peaceful those times are.

not because of the content that i'm studying

but life can now move along at a gentle pace, allowing me to see and appreciate all that is going on.

inadequate time for revision (one semester's work in a week is no easy feat, nearing impossibility)

leaning on His provision and trusting that all will work out good.

we visualize and then realize our future and the outcomes of situations, so let's start all that on a positive note.

2010-04-19T01:40:00.000+08:00

i wish i wasn't introduced to all these.

2010-04-19T01:36:00.000+08:00

its past midnight.

having class 95 for company. somehow the combination of songs is rather comforting and pleasant to the ears.

cant speak the same for the work that i've to do. no progress, rather i'm just disturbed with all the untouched revision.

the past few days has been just dedicated to recharging. truly in all aspects.

despite risking the fact of getting stoned by school friends.

it was worth it.

dun ever forget or lose all that i've learnt and gain.

pst is definitely leading by example and a real inspiration. :)

2010-04-13T15:15:00.000+08:00

finally. one day without hearing about the word EXHIBITION.

acm, panels and what not.

the whole preparation is definitely taking a toll on the whole team.

just praying everything will fall in place smoothly and the exhibition a success.

what we reinforces and build upon, will grow inevitably.

let us be building up positive and Godly traits.

2010-04-07T02:07:00.002+08:00

after repeated encounters with failures and obstacles, things would definitely seem rather helpless.

and that's probably the most tempting time to just throw in the towel, and attempt to convince oneself that you would excel better in some other aspect.

just reminded that it will always be insufficient if i try to live using my own strength, relying on my own abilities. it seems now that it's just struggling to stay afloat.

learn to depend on His strength, and realize that all that you've been doing is not a given.

i will never have chosen this path without first taking the first step to trust.

'where would i be today, without you?'

every extra day is a bonus, every new opportunity an added blessing.

learning to treasure all that i have been given.

'hope does not disappoint'

2010-04-04T00:47:00.003+08:00

this is one of the only rare moments when i can just take my time to slowly read blogs, realized some mysteriously shifted and actually be surprised that there are some people whom i have yet to meet for months.

thank htc for actually offering an upgrade over the net, and allow me to spend this spare time reading blogs.

over dinner, was just kinda struck with the fact that after one whole round, there are just some things that will remain. some people or issues that might seem so significant at that point in time, boy oh boy, further down the road. it doesn't seem to matter at all.

looking at all the secondary school kids hanging round orchard road is probably one clear reminder that we've all grown out of that era and face it. we're moving on to a new world.

choices are difficult, but not making any aint gonna benefit as well.

time to seek Godly wisdom and make the most appropriate choice.

2010-03-25T00:53:00.000+08:00

simplicity in white. common but yet intriguing

2010-03-21T16:23:00.002+08:00

it's been awhile since i've visited this space.
guess twitter has that function of convenience that deters me from even thinking bout blogging
anyway.
school's been as per normal - way way hectic.
but somehow this time round, i felt less panicky or worried bout the different projects.

that doesnt mean that the projects were smooth sailing, but rather issues kept arising one after and another.

kinda sucked into the regime of going home at the first bus in the morning (gasps at the fact the first 96 comes at 7.15am) and coming back to school at late evenings.

praise the Lord aki construction is out of the way for year one.
group projects are indeed more tricky than the obvious benefit of having more hands to help.
how should i put it across
we're just human beings with very strong individualistic idea

am excited at the chance given in children church.
the challenge and opportunity that is presented.
cant explain how grateful and how it reassure my direction.

time for even greater expansion.
exciting :)

2010-03-09T22:51:00.002+08:00

felt the strain so strongly today.
screaming quietly even as i rushed my way to give tuition.
it will be so great if i can just depend solely on allowance. blah blah
and other ranting and excuses.

with all the deadlines for submisson all lined up one after another.

even before my body give way, i am halfway down in the realm of the mind.
train rides have become the only time i can take my mind off work or anything else.
this semester is indeed much tougher that i've ever imagined.
and this is proven by the no of times i've tasted fong seng prata and maggi gorengs.

supper at fong seng is no longer something i will look forward to.

am thankful that i am still well and have not fallen sick despite all the continuous late nights.
being grateful can slowly neutralise all the complains and rants, and turn each stressful circumstances into a deeper chance to acknowledge and appreciate the things & people around.

i cant mistake kindness and closeness for something else.
always falling at the same spot and that shouldnt be the case.
not turning back either.

till the end of march. examinations seem much more exciting than projects.

2010-02-25T07:58:00.004+08:00

one. two. three and four............
and the list goes on.
school projects all cluttered together, with humanly-impossible deadlines to meet.
totally cant predict or plan my schedule.
the weariness sets in.
coupled with the nonchalance - which i feel is really not necessary.
make it seem like it's just about the attendance.

this week will come to an end eventually.
till then.

melaka. and it's old rustic feel.

2010-02-15T22:13:00.007+08:00

the pristine white beach and the blue waves.
spells relaxation and definitely makes me look forward to the break.
well, do sincerely hope i will really end up there then.

it's the second day of chinese new year, and my mood is already dampened by project and the upcoming malacca.
they sure know how to squeeze us dry even during recess week.
recess - a short break before u embark on something bigger.

anyway it is the usual catching up with family, but i've learnt to treasure those supposedly repetitive moments.
a simple chat and a 'how are you?' meant so more now.
guess that's the case when there just doesn't seem to be enough personal time.

i m blessed. constantly reminding myself of that.
faced with a junction, refusing to take a turn.
never trust the intuition.

shall continue the story when i am back from malacca.

2010-02-05T19:16:00.002+08:00

my dream bathroom....basin.
full horizontal mirror. classic.

dropped my dearest macbook twice in a row, seriously.
about to lose my mind.

another packed weekend,
believing the breakthrough is near!

2010-01-31T20:27:00.002+08:00

cool aluminum chair!
read more at:
http://www.designboom.com/weblog/cat/8/view/8851/ran-amitai-natureofmaterial.html

2010-01-31T20:11:00.004+08:00

the change. the pressure of school. and the realization of the things that are concealed

very often we do not understand many truths of life until we're faced with a huge obstacle or going thru an extended duration of trial.
the irony of situation, the sharpening of the details of the mind as the path ahead gets a little blurry and hazy.

perhaps its the change of environment that is posing a new challenge to my thinking, or its the most optimal time for a reminder to press on for a higher goal.

i do not know.

but the word TRUST keeps appearing and i can reckon that it has the very answer and significance.

physically low on battery and charging up on the inside.

ok body's aching all over even as i tortured it during the failed attempt at ippt last sat.

someone reminded me that it's easier to say that i am walking in the right direction, but yet in actual fact it is leading anywhere except the right path.
the first mistake's forgiven, the second to let it pass, but with a third forth and fifth.
what does it speak of yourself?
words speak louder than actions.

let's just believe we're all working hard and in due time we'll be given the well deserve rest.

forgive me if all that were mentioned sound incoherent, mind's not working at its best condition.

anyway, chinese new year is coming :)
and i m praying that my bro is going to make into ac.

2010-01-22T02:06:00.003+08:00

was just glancing at the blogger main page.
and realized this is the 300th post.

woah.
this blog has sure come a long way. (just by looking at the content of the entries)

getting a lil tired of sketching n work, decided to take a breather.
work has been hectic, but yet fulfilling at the same time.
it cant really be put into words entirely
i mean who in the right frame of mind would wish to have sleepless nights and work endlessly.
but at the end of every project, when i look back.

i know i've learnt n accomplish that much. and how much grace He has shown.
reminds of the message that was preached about how someone who has the greater void within (or with the bigger, greater sins) would end up yearning more for God as compared to someone else who've committed the minor mistakes in life.

oh yes, and the recess weekend after cny is going to be spent in malacca.
indeed something to look forward, ok perhaps not so much bout doing studio work.

one last night before i'm officially released from the curse of the museum.

2010-01-15T00:58:00.004+08:00

most interesting note of the day:
I accidentally 'stole' a menu from a thai restaurant after dining there for lunch. fantastic.
a new item for collection.

2010-01-14T23:16:00.001+08:00

2010-01-10T01:08:00.001+08:00

the tenth day of the year.

beholding many things and while time unravels much.

really thankful that I still manage to secure the tuition job, though not the most ideal but still very needed.
being able to teach has become something so simple but yet inspiring at the same time.

come to the realization yet again that most of what u expect will usually not come to past. yet we must still hold on to new hopes and dreams to keep ourselves going.

it is better to die than to live a day hopeless.

habits do not change, if the person is still at square one.

2010-01-04T22:16:00.004+08:00

i don't know whether it's me or it's just the start of the year.
but things that had been happening were all somewhat screwed up in its order, like as if everything's been pre-planned to test the focus.
as if it is trying to preempt something.

FOCUS
deja vu of the word.

stop attempting to go by living on my own strength, and getting stuck in frustration.
time to pray and seek for revelation.
walk closer with Him in 2010.

2010-01-01T10:55:00.003+08:00

2010 - the brand new year awaits!
i am excited.
Thank God for all the provision in 2009 and the grace that kept me going through all the darkest moments.
can't do everything without Him.

many things can be spoken, but yet remains as it.
the test of the attitude, patience and even trust.
stand up for what's right, even if it means losing your position.
action speaks louder than word.

a challenging semester awaits (think about endless sleepless nights, early morning lectures and mind gripping critiques)
time to focus.

2009-12-26T16:12:00.003+08:00

how real are you to yourself.

amidst all the celebrations and fun, I was just subtly reminded what was it all about.

put away the formalities, love in the manner you ought to.

2009-12-22T00:59:00.002+08:00

fulfilled my long lost secret wish - to head to punggol for a super random photoshoot, without any assignment or purpose at the back of my mind. just there plainly for the experience.

that might sound kinda insignificant, but it is really such time away from city life that bear all the more importance (at least to me).

and dun forget the famous nasi lemak (which lived up to it's name) that completes the day perfectly!

2009-12-20T01:33:00.006+08:00

the initial tug. the big push.
and now the tugging.

back and forth.
set your mind right and not sway.

Christmas is quickening its pace.
the end of yet another year is drawing closer.

the shocking fact of the week:
China bans Twitter!, Youtube?!?!, Facebook!??!?!!? and even yousendit.

2009-12-12T20:29:00.002+08:00

the disillusions of life:

when u thought u knew someone, but actually that person is a double headed snake.
speaking something to one, appearing so innocent to another.
can't we just be true to ourselves at least?
it gets tiresome to be constantly cautious of what i hear, putting the words through an invisible filter.

it's easier to speak based on hearsay than to truly understand someone on a personal basis.
for a moment, i thought i don't know you at all.

on a side note:

heard today that renewal of the mind is not to just put upon the old self all the new values, but rather it is to go deeper into the basic foundation and starting afresh with that new revelation.
how true that we just tend to apply that principle only on the surface, and attempt to only decrease or increase a certain element in our lives, instead of completely removing and starting anew.

2009-12-06T21:26:00.006+08:00

congratulations (to myself)

i've survived first semester and came out in one piece.
the continuous late nights and the two meals (plus supper) per day per week routine all seemed worthwhile when i looked back.
i've learnt to be more aware about my surroundings, to be more critical about all the details that i'm presented with.
to dare to take the risk and to try despite falling and failing.
to understand that getting up thereafter is that which bears all the significance.

it is amazing how i used to perceive the world to function in a certain manner, when i realized the reality is very much far from that.

point is -
THE HOLIDAYS HAVE ARRIVED.

first stop: Bintan

a very much needed escape from city life.
the huge tranquil beach and the sound of the waves are just so soothing :)

all ready to catch up on all that i've been missing out during semester!

2009-11-26T14:19:00.002+08:00

unknowingly examinations have taken over the social control of our lives.
all people acknowledge or care about is how did you fare.

how many marks did you get ah?"

then we attempt to veil this superficiality by emphasizing on 'holistic education'
we're indeed a paper-chase society.

2009-11-25T19:52:00.001+08:00

one more down. final one to go!
just five more days :)

2009-11-21T00:53:00.003+08:00

TRUSSES, COLUMNS, TENSION, COMPRESSION, MOMENTS, RESISTANCE, STRESS, STRAIN

that sums up all that i've been facing for the past week. and it's getting so very dry.
felt as if i didnt take up this module at all from the start, and now i realized i had to sit for the exam one week later.

kinda frustrating indeed, but just learning to just give it all that i've got and pray that i can bid goodbye to it forever.

(not mentioning the incoherent and rather non-informative manner of the presentation of the lecture notes)

haha i am surprised that i can just sit down for the whole day to just do revision.

just two more weeks!

2009-11-14T23:28:00.001+08:00

'if we endure with him, we shall also reign with him'

keep on keeping on :)

2009-11-10T23:49:00.003+08:00

there's so much going on. somehow i've become a little lost in all that.

and we're suppose to work like robots, like press a few buttons and set a few preset programmes.
and zoom, off we go working till like forever.

i realized that i've become very incoherent in speech.
slow progress speed is no longer pardonable.

need a sunny day and some spare hours and a very motivated heart - so i can get out of bed early and head for a swim.
though exams are looming in less than 2 weeks, it is definitely strange that i don't feel that panicky. (not a very good sign)
haha
till portfolio is done by friday, which will entails endless struggles with indesign.
i am sure it can designed to be more user-friendly.

Reminder to self: to stop procrastinating and start working like NOW.

sudden attraction to alternative rock music.

2009-11-02T21:23:00.006+08:00

some of the photos taken during the photography workshop which ended last week.
was interesting just to perceive how light and darkness intertwine to form varying images, and how reminiscent it was to just make a trip back to old airport road - my childhood grounds.

life has been pushing ahead at full speed, while i'm starting to struggle to keep up with it.
not that it has been without a purpose, but the body is beginning to protest from frequent late nights and fast food thrice a week.

grossed out at the sight of macs.

this whole week is indeed the most demanding since school has started.
work has been a touch and go affair, for if i were to dwell on it a little longer. the rest will start to snowball.

i am living this exciting 'no-life' life.
haha.

and with that transcab taxi uncle that didnt bother to return my precious axo drawing!
i am left pretty helpless.
pray that critique will still go on smoothly.

it is at such breaking point, where I am reminded of the real friends and family that are sticking it out with you.
many times, we tend to be so caught up with 'life' that we forgotten to cherish the simplest of things.
it's time to go back to the basics!
and to forget what was behind.

alright. history essay's due on fri. time to start cracking.

revelation of the week:
jesus said to them "have faith in God"

2009-10-25T02:51:00.001+08:00

symmetry: the circle and the square
no idea how i can use this idea to translate into something that can hold up a brick (using only string and satay sticks)
felt like an engineer for a moment.
or perhaps architects meant to have some 'engineer flair' as well.

2009-10-25T02:41:00.003+08:00

a time of refreshment.
and a gentle reminder on how important it is to dwell in His presence
to not get caught up with the care and concerns of life.

back at the home front, life is getting much more hectic.
greater expectation of others, higher demand of self.
it is definitely something worth the challenge.

how crucial the word 'focus' can be.

hair's getting longer by the day, time for a good decent cut.
perhaps back to the more manageable short hair.
haha.

[realized that i've used arial all along, if u've noticed my older posts. shall revert back to that]

2009-10-16T16:20:00.006+08:00

the places that i've visited, while doing the 30 sketches that kept me occupied the past weekend.

i was the weird person standing and sketching whenever there's something interesting.

2009-10-16T01:08:00.003+08:00

in and out of sleep.

have you ever woke up in bed, after falling asleep when u intended to just take a nap..

that pretty much sums up my nights for the past week.
it's a miracle i still managed to churn out the work due the next day (quality being a separate issue)

friday is here again and it's time to catch up on so many things.
with a new tutor, everything is taking a positive change and many previously concealed directions now illuminated.
i seemed to be able to comprehend work much better now (perhaps it's just that i finally grasped the concept)

sidetrack: group work always brings out human character in it's most pure form.
it's frustrating when someone is just so stubborn to snap out of their own old mindset and to adopt the relevant concept and to just move on with it.
it is really that difficult?

friday, saturday, sunday
swim, model, draw, buffet, and sleep.

welcome the brand new weekend :)

2009-10-14T01:24:00.002+08:00

the simple time out.
the sincere conversations.

the simple things that touch your heart.
there's no need to live a complicated live.
or to appear sophisticated.

the work seems never ending, always coming.
and appearing.
but it's so impt to take time off (or to just skive)
to let the exhausted mind rest a little, and to start off on a new page.

more sleepless nites, i can foresee.
but am reminded how i can and should pray and to really seek after Him.
He's the giver of strength, and we're made more than conquerors!

good nite :)

2009-10-10T20:43:00.002+08:00

gotten a little weary of sketching.
so started blog surfing and reading all the entries..

when it came to the old cell group's entries (esp merrien's post on all the old photos from ancient times)
they still make me laugh and reminded me of how much we've all grown and changed (for better hopefully)
haha

and that all the problems that seemed daunting to us in the past are somehow so minute now to us.
growing up equates to overcoming bigger problems?
that's pretty true.

every day will present it challenges, and at the same time it's offering a chance for you to overcome and grow.

imagine yourself ten years down the road?
definitely more beautiful than you're now.

2009-10-09T01:53:00.003+08:00

the weekend has arrived!
and it's totally filled with work (x30 sketches, etc)

the morning sketch at republic poly today was somewhat interesting.
it helped to break away from the daily routine of home-school-home.

and yes the school building is really intriguing, especially with the use of water and glass.
and the simple but yet unique cultural centre, which sheltered us from the sudden mad thunderstorm.what's going on.
i know that there's something changing.

2009-10-07T21:45:00.002+08:00

not everything that happened was done on purpose.
to let go of the control and keep you eyes looking straight.
the struggle within and the turmoil unseen.

it's funny how tough it can be, and how much someone can greatly stir up your emotions.
irrational coupled with the uncertainty.
the distance and the separation.

to reunite back to the square one.
the strangers and friends.
how i wish i never knew you.

foolishness indeed. what have i done.
actions guided by the heart.

i've been trying too hard, to reach an unknown destination.
taken for granted many, neglected the rest.
and how i pray.
to return to the unchanging love.
to seek that peace within.

"i close my eyes, lift my hands to worship you.
you're the love of my life.
nothing else matters"

2009-10-02T01:54:00.004+08:00

the recess and studio free weeks just came and left.
so quickly, that it barely felt that it was sufficient.

nonetheless, i am still grateful for the freedom in time.
to choose what i should do first, and to take time off and to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

nothing will change just by me sitting down here talking about it and wanting so much to make a change. if i dun for once, take a step out.
(i must step out n forward to all that awaits)

certain things in life can't be forced upon.
and it is sad but yet necessary for one to learn by experience.
if you dont know how it hurts, it might not be obvious to you that you're actually doing all to yourself. (not that it applies to every single situation)

this phase seems like a renewal : a new content page and introduction to a brand new story.
to cherish and to embrace.

happy children's day, though i am already two hours late!
esp to my tuition kids, even though u would never read this (and i pray that you don't)
thanks for bringing me that joy and satisfaction (most of the time)
haha
look forward to seeing you all again on saturday!

haha

2009-09-28T16:29:00.003+08:00

my very first portfolio!
now that i've reached this point in time.
i am just truly grateful to be able to wrestle through it all and be able to submit this.

haha.

the deprivation of sleep can make someone very truthful and sensitive to his/her environment.

am reminded that when you're in a position holding a responsibility, the people around tend to neglect your efforts and just deemed it as something within your scope of work.

not that the person should shuck off all that he/she should be doing, but just that the people in the team can be so blatant to just dump all that personal work to the rep and let the rep settle it himself.
(not speaking from my own experience)

something has indeed broken, and we seemed to be a little thrown off the track.
not that we are unable to comprehend, but rather we haven't even started to understand.
it seem like an excruciating task to look beyond what's on the surface.
time to be decisive and to look at the fuller picture instead.
to be true to yourself.

2009-09-22T15:25:00.003+08:00

does nonchalance always equate to being ignorant?
or is it just one party giving while the other party's taking without realizing.

it just doesnt feel right when you're one that's always listening while the other shares.
might seem a little foolish at times.

i cant sort it out somehow and i've been going in circles.
perhaps it's time to lower its importance and snap out of it.

2009-09-18T00:27:00.001+08:00

RECESS WEEK!!
very timely.
thank God for his grace for the past 6 weeks.
it really carried me through every single day and night.

time to catch up on my sleep!

2009-09-15T00:21:00.007+08:00

had internal critique as the last lesson of the day.

that made me ponder about how sometimes being just vague is the method of instruction and passing down of skill and techniques.
(though being constantly vague will definitely leave the people around u deluded)

perhaps we've all been set in a 'spoonfed' environment where every single thing that we do is bounded by certain 'test & proven' methods.

to the extent that taking a risk to try seem somewhat redundant or even pointless.

is that really the way to go for seek education?
is it really wholesome?

i guess some really can't be bothered about the quality as long as we're able to eventually attain that degree or certification.(and find a stable job)

ironic it might seem.

alright random reflection aside.

i am so tired of being distracted, esp when i have a deadline to meet.

the last project for this first half sem of my aki journey is going to be due on thursday.
and my mind is still wandering all over, except on the project.

i am definitely looking for a time of rest in recess week!

the pictures that i have been using as sources of inspiration.
sleepy mind is not functioning normally already.
(i really love the mac ability to copy just a certain section of the web page, photo, words, e.t.c.)
cool!

:)

2009-09-12T16:30:00.003+08:00

the deep frustration

there's something left unspoken and unrealized.

is it something that i shouldnt be feeling? i wont reckon so.

disconnectedness.

how long can this actually last?

breakthrough in my thinking.

2009-09-10T00:01:00.004+08:00

for the first time:

i've headed back to school at eleven in the night.
staying up all the way till six in the morning before i totally KO.

survived one full day of lectures n tutorials plus more lantern making time.

all i can say thank God for his supernatural strength and wonderful group mates.

okay my 'almost dead' body is beckoning me to head straight to my comfy bed.

life can be so interesting.

summary of the past two days: deprived of sleep, coffee, macdonalds, more coffee, mild insanity, and haha coffee again.
alright before i suffer from caffeine poisoning.

after the first presentation for history tutorial, the tutor's comments really got me interested to find out more information about the thought process of Le Corbusier and the fellow architects.It is pretty captivating in a sense.

sometimes, we tend to neglect the importance of communication.
to trust and to share.
is viable for a just one side initiative only?
it might get a tad too exhausting and before long the relationship might just falter away.

2009-09-07T01:09:00.004+08:00

a brand new week awaits!
was just counting the number of weeks that have passed since the start of school.
and it has already been 4 weeks!
haha
thank God for the rest over the weekend, since the assignment is somewhat less demanding. and making lantern is definitely more meaning and somewhat motivating compared to just abstract art.

oh well, i am still too literal.

the takeaway for the weekend - to persevere on despite of all that might go on.

i need His grace and mercy to help me step out each new step.

random: found this picture on flickr while brainstorming for ideas.

2009-09-05T04:40:00.003+08:00

another late night (or early morning staying up) to be precise.
felt rather inefficient with my pace of work.
tend to be so easily distracted with surfing the net (even it meant to read google news repeatedly)

haha life has changed so dramatically for me.
no doubt it's extremely draining, but yet somewhat interesting and evoke a deeper satisfaction within.
still adjusting to being forced to stay home on weekends and to be more freed up during the weekdays.
having to turn down appointments, or to rush work like now so i can make time to go out on sun.

it's definitely still the transition phrase, so i sincerely hope people around pardon me.

after 3 weeks of school, i am left to ponder and question about so many issues.
i kept asking myself, is this the limit?
can i still go further and think deeper?
so many times, we all tend to just look at things at the surface and attempt to rationalize them.
neglecting the fact that it holds more purpose or meaning when we actually take a little more time to look into it and to pay more attention to it.

sidetrack: after spending so much time in school and all, makes me feel a little detached from the outside world. (a sacrifice perhaps?)
but i do remind myself constantly it's the balance that matters.
and to set priorities into all that i am doing.

haha cant help it but design school has urged me to organise my life and to set my "literal" mind into thinking "abstract"

alrights, it's time to catch up on my sleep.

the end of human strength, is the beginning of God's grace and power
i cant comprehend all the actions, but God is the focus.

2009-08-25T00:27:00.007+08:00

it's the start of the third week of this new lease of life.

it has definitely opened my eyes to the world of art. and how design is really so much more abstract and intriguing, as i suppose it to be.

it has surely not been smooth sailing, but i am really giving it my best shot.
though at times, it might seem as though not all will stand on your side to encourage u on.
i am thankful for the true friends.

in our education system, we're often so trained to just analyse ideas and things on the surface and that's it.
but now i am introduced to the idea to question and challenge the facts, to set new boundaries and to expound on your own concept.
it is impressive and interesting to learn without being spoon-fed with the facts and formulas.
to discover everything for yourself.

i need to renew my mindset, and learn to see beyond the literal.
to truly fit into the shoes of a designer.

i feel like some fine art student for a moment.

sidetrack: i m really in awe of the ADM building in NTU, though i've worked there for the good half of the year. i've never entered it's premises, and all i can say sde definitely need a revamp. our shabby, non conducive environment.

i am reminded of my own limits and to trust in his infinite wisdom.

2009-08-18T01:30:00.001+08:00

there are sometimes that i would wish to find out, but yet i am afraid to uncover the truth.
uncertainty might seem like the next best option.

till i gain that courage. and that affirmation within.

2009-08-15T03:52:00.005+08:00

here i am at 3.52am in the morning.

at the second quadrant of my mega a1 size paper drawing.

and hooray, i am drawing straight lines.(not trying to be sarcastic here)

oh well, my mind's 80% percent shut down and i cant even manage to draw for more than 30minutes.

i wanna head straight to bed, but somehow i know that will be my greatest regret when i wake up tml morning.(oops i meant this morning)

alright, i know i shouldnt be online.

perhaps if i can be drawing something like this in a year's time?

haha

2009-08-11T00:01:00.002+08:00

the official start of school in just less than 11 hours!

it has really been a long journey, all the way from the decision making on which course to select.
till spending free time in the army bunk pondering about it, using tomorrow as a motivation to push on through the toughest and darkest day in ns.

nonetheless, i am still excited. and yet a little anxious at the same time.

perhaps knowing that u're stepping into a brand new environment, a place where it doesnt matter how much you've studied. because effort doesnt necessary equate to grades in architecture.

late nights coupled with tight deadlines.

perhaps u might feel i am being too paranoid, but i dun reckon so.
maybe it's just my way of mental preparation.

short-term goal 1= to improve greatly in my drawing skills, to make a cube look like a cube.

short-term goal 2= to be super duper creative. constantly having interesting ideas.

alright. a very good first day awaits everyone in school!

2009-08-03T23:14:00.002+08:00

it has been almost two weeks since i've last set foot upon my blog.
so now it's time to revive it.

i had a splendid time away in KL and of course lots of pictures to testify.
taking some time off from singapore can really help to relax your mind and slow down the fast pace of life.

that seriously helped me to sort out my thoughts better.
after going for all of the orientation games and making more friends (or u can deemed that as socializing)

it's just quite unfortunate that i suddenly came down with fever and flu.
and that just kept me at home for the past two days.
gonna pray that it will go away asap!

alright i'm turning in.

2009-07-20T20:05:00.012+08:00

WOAH. i am officially twenty-one now.

and i am truly thankful and blessed to be able to spend my day with all my loved ones.

despite the unfriendly drizzle that came along and the chalet being jam-packed (not including the porches of the units next door and even opposite being utilized)

sorry if i wasnt a good host!

thank you so much for coming and i cant express in words how much it all meant to me!

alright, this entry will definitely be incompletely without pictures.
so let the pictures do the talking.
hahaha (will just post some classic shots)

click on the collage for a clearer view!
just in case you're wondering what delicacy it was before the final collage (it's mixed choc cake with satay sauce n curry)
to think i actually innocently tried it.
pretty dumb. haha

and of course i was so excited about the gifts (like a kid)
Thank you one and all!! :)
and not forgetting the HONGBAOs too. hahaha

the biggest shock of the day - Five dollars HURS vouchers! haha
maybe i can get a dress or handbag, not for myself.

now that the party's over and life has gone on, with the adulthood in reality.
it's time to recharge myself over this two weeks, and to get all geared up for school and that awaits ahead! :)

time to get back to the basics, to pray read and to seek His directions (and stop depending solely on my own strength n abilities).

last but least: a super BIG thanks to my ever so hardworking parents for putting in so much effort for the party, cant do without u both. and i wont be here where i am.

a sweet memory itched in my mind forever.

:)

shall post the pic up FB some other day, tired!

2009-07-18T02:23:00.002+08:00

twenteen-one.
the new era.
an exciting year awaits!

2009-07-14T08:38:00.005+08:00

MIES MIES van der rohe

(one of his works: Martin Luther King Memorial Library)

the name keeps getting repeated over the course of the 4 days.

just in case you're wondering who that is, he's a famous german architect, and coincidentally my OG name for PreFAB 09 (archi camp)

having gone through PreFAB 09 left me with lots of thoughts.

be it motivation or doubts, I am thankfully i went ahead to go for the camp.

the people were open and true, and all my previous fears of meeting arrogant and airheaded people were unfounded :)

i feel constantly pressed to create, to design and innovate. something that i am not adapted to do, since my environment tend to be one in which i listen and work from instructions.

well, it's a good change definitely and it dawned upon me that i am fully immersed into the ARTs circle, whether i like it or not. (though i reckon that i am still far from having that artistic flair)

just few more days left before the party, so much still left undone.

if u guys and girls are still wondering what to get, you can always text me.

i will give u a honest and specific reply. hahaha

pardon me for being this shameless.

wooh. 3 more days till the end of work.

before i can take the time to start drawing, doodling, sketching. whatsoever.

2009-07-06T19:54:00.004+08:00

finally caught transformer 2 after playing half a day of 'transformers' game.
how appropriate indeed.

help to enlighten me about the different characters.
for a moment, i've mixed up the autobots and the decepticons.

having mixed feelings about going for FOC tml.
yes. PREFAB 2009.

feeling a little apprehensive since the last school camp i've attended was probably like jc orientation, 4 years ago.
hahaha

and the OGL finally called..

ok prefab here i come! :)

2009-06-29T23:07:00.006+08:00

back dated post.

made my first online purchase!

feel like a goon-doo now that i look back, waiting so anxiously for the package to arrive.

note: threadless can reward me with some online credit for promoting them.haha

going to self declare a day off very soon. i need that.

2009-06-24T09:13:00.000+08:00

you can plan all you want.
if it is not meant to happen, it just won't come to pass.

2009-06-22T22:43:00.002+08:00

the past couple of days passed by so quickly. and june is coming to an end.
the current season: contemplate about the past, present, and the things to come.

the friendships and relationships in my life seems to be taking on a change.
for many, they are condensing, becoming stronger and evidently proving to be good company.

while some might seem to falter away, even as time illuminates and unravels the true character.

and incompatibility as friends exist. (incompatibility is clearly not restricted to just couples)

well, it is not possible and definitely unwise to be buddies with everyone, and transform into just another social butterfly.

saying hi to one, and bye to another in the next second.

being true in your conversations and treatment of others, will inevitably allow others to open up their lives to you, on accord of your sincerity.

learning to hear and trust, not to depend on my own understanding
to see beyond the circumstances, to love and care.

2009-06-11T22:25:00.010+08:00

took a pause, sort out the minute things in life.

a good break for a greater race ahead.

life can be so short, and it's so crucial to embrace every moment of it.

although there are still many tasks like e.g

visiting the library, taking out a nice book and DRAW!

the break is still considered worthwhile.

an update on the latest white gadgets cravings:

Macbook white and white HTC magic!

(disclaimer:it's just wishful thinking on my part)

a week to focus, and get back to the basics.
upcoming freshmen orientation camp, and school is gonna start!

2009-06-07T21:17:00.002+08:00

thank you for a wonderful 6 months :)

2009-06-02T08:57:00.002+08:00

title: tuesday blues

woke up with puffy eyes and a ultra strong urge to stay in bed.
but after psycho-ing myself how much a day absent from work would cost me.
i dragged myself out of the house.

haha.

was trying v hard to keep awake to iron my shirt while listening to my mom ranting about the family that lives a floor above my flat.
(with their overaged son who constantly jumps up and down the whole day till my living room lights vibrate and i feared for my family's lives-seriously!)
and that the family's mother even defended his son, saying he's just an active young boy.

amidst all of that hoo-hah in the morning
i was in my own world, wondering to myself.
how often we let the circumstances around us define how we feel about a certain friend or person.

that is the time we need to trust the person's heart.

oh well.a super-uber random post.
to keep myself alive today
haha

2009-05-30T11:00:00.001+08:00

A bruised reed He will not break.
And smoking flax He will not quench,
Till he send forth justice to victory.

2009-05-28T23:31:00.002+08:00

what matters the most?

what do you know and what do you not know?

is it just the stubborn me or am i suppose to react this way?

how much do u really understand?

who is your friend?

all that is said and done.

nothing else.

i am better off alone.

2009-05-27T08:43:00.000+08:00

treasure the loved ones around you.
every single moment can be so precious and might pass us by if we do not cherish it.

tired.

work seems to be like the biggest time-occupying activity of the week.
(as opposed to sleep)

needing a good rest and some entertainment!

.....

2009-05-22T08:54:00.001+08:00

Worship:

body, mind and spirit all engaged in one.

the emotions totally involved.

wow.

2009-05-21T08:11:00.003+08:00

blame it on the cheesecake from rive gauche..(is it spelt this way?)
though it was so yummy and really cheesy.
i am left with a stomachache today.
:(

shall treasure the time off to catch up on my sleep, shows, and bible reading.

oh no still isn't sure where exactly my cell group gonna cycle to for tomorrow's outing.

destination: unknown?

haha.
it is really about whether you want to snap out of the "we're not so close" mindset, to spend more time with the people that truly matters to you.

alright.

2009-05-18T08:51:00.005+08:00

something that i was pondering over the weekend..

what do we do when we're faced with a certain sense of uncertainty about the future and pressured to give in and give up?

do we just call it quits and throw in the towel?

or do we fight to hang on, while we attempt to search for the real purpose once again?.

perhaps many would just sink into their circumstances, and let emotions take over.

i am definitely not excluded.

i've been in the thinking mood lately.

alright, anyway the weekend went by pretty slowly.

and

i finally went running...on the threadmill.

time to build up my stamina!

2009-05-11T00:02:00.005+08:00

the happiest moment of the weekend.
my mom picking out that top as her gift on mothers' day.
thank you for loving me though i have always been attempting to do the things that make u upset (constantly).
for teaching me the rights and wrongs in life.
and the principle that whatever effort i put in, it will determine the outcome of my life.
thank God for putting you in my life, to be who you are to me!

not forgetting to wish Joseph a happy 21st birthday as well!!

I am still waiting for mine to arrive.haha

in this moment of transition, from work to eventually school.
uncertainties abound,
but I am constantly encouraged by Him reminding me that He's watching over.

His promise of unconditional love just spurs me on :)

2009-05-02T19:24:00.004+08:00

received my photo card driving license today.
no idea why but the euphoria started to arise within.
and i started to admire the card for a few minutes.

know that sounds pretty dumb.. but it is definitely hard work to earn it
so ya all the best for all those who're taking their practical test soon!

i sincerely hope the dream of being able to just drive around freely and be able to drive out for suppers would come to pass quickly!
(dread paying for long night rider journeys and exorbitant midnite cab fares home.)

felt that a new phrase of life has begun.

and it dawns upon me that the start of school is really drawing near. and it is certainly time for me to start cracking.
to visit the library to borrow more materials. to stop procrastinating and set time aside to do the drawings...blah blah blah.

i need to have a more creative mind!

cool geometry.

2009-04-28T00:31:00.003+08:00

Felt His presence so strongly.

Thank you for your love.

" Freely you gave it all for us, surrendered your life upon the cross.
Great is your love, poured out for all...."

and the song goes on and on.

2009-04-27T00:01:00.002+08:00

I am struggling to make up that 1000 words for the scholarship application essay.
sincerely and really do not have so much to say about my personal interest in design.
The exhausted body is not making things better.

ahh!

"My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever"

that i must keep in mind...

2009-04-23T00:06:00.004+08:00

goodbye bukit batok and ubi!
i had spent more than enough hours of my life there.
literally sweat it out for the test today, the sun was shining so brightly.
i was perspiring madly.
and it's FINALLY time to ditch that 'L' and put on that big bright orange triangle plates.
Praise God for creating a miracle, out of something that seems humanly impossible!
Your thoughts are surely higher than mine!
:)

my dream car! (now i can have the right to think about this)

woooh. :)

2009-04-20T14:22:00.002+08:00

What a great way to start off work on a Monday morning, realizing that your outlook account has just expired last friday.
And no one was informed to extend it for you.

well.the so called efficient and dynamic computer system can't speak up for this.
realized how crippled I am without my email account.

but on the other hand, I am left without a choice, but to draft work mails in Word. and devote some time to checking of my personal mail and reading of the news.
haha. a self declared break then.

the hustle and bustle of life for the past two weeks had really left me with little time to contemplate and think through certain issues and to find the time to exercise, sleep and draw etc.

driving test is coming up on wednesday, and I've been telling God please let this be the final test that i'm going to take! "I am going to pass this time round!"

"do not fear, for I am with you..." I can drive the bends and weave safely through the traffic!

haha
alright. back to 'work'.

2009-04-12T23:07:00.003+08:00

happy birthday boys.

macau express? once is enough.

late night hk cafe supper business.

plus POPeyes (according to changi airport info hotline)
greeting cheerful and smiling kids.
etc.

the exciting long weekend.
a renewed purpose.
a driven passion.

greater days ahead!

2009-04-08T15:25:00.003+08:00

a cut above the rest.

2009-04-06T17:33:00.004+08:00

Our light is joyfulness, positive attitude, revelation & paths to live life successfully.

-phil pringle

2009-04-03T09:14:00.004+08:00

why is it at certain times some people would tend to read too much into the words they hear?
and start to react with their emotions over their logic.

yes everyone has their work to do and their role to play.
you're definitely not the only one doing everything.
disappointed.

2009-03-31T20:18:00.004+08:00

Surprised that i managed to stay home after knocking off work for the past two days.
Or rather it's funny how circumstances change to make that happen.
Enjoyed the time to draw and go online (which is something that won't happen except from 8 to 5)

the top 3 things that i need to complete ASAP
1) pass driving
2) proficiency in playing guitar
3) (haven't thought of it yet)

haha

"Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full"

random:walt disney concert hall in L.A. , USA (love how irregular the exteriors are)

2009-03-28T01:19:00.004+08:00

After today, came to the sudden realization that I can live my life without being apologetic constantly.
That I am facing all the problems so the greater self within can emerge!
My heart feels a tad lighter and freed up.
Thank you God :)

Just a random old song, that is still as touching as ever.

2009-03-26T12:16:00.004+08:00

sometimes I just feel like running away from the crowd.

to a place where I am by myself.

Oh well, I can't do anything except to hang on.

This mundane routine is not going to last forever.

2009-03-22T23:34:00.003+08:00

I was left reflecting upon this question today
"What is thing that drive us to go on in life every single day?"

Is it the wealth that we'll gather from the work we do?
or is it the friends, classmates, colleagues that we'll get to meet that keep us going?
our love for our children, spouse or family members?
or is it just solely to satisfy our own desires?

this can be such a simple basic question that many of us would fail to ask ourselves.
even for myself, when the world seems to revolve at such a quick pace.
I would stop at my step and ask myself.

and the answer would always be the same.
without God, I would not be where I am today.
the countless times, through the darkest nights, He was there to comfort n strengthen me:)

okay a new working week awaits.
just like how i was joking with my colleague what we should say on Mondays
"Oh God, it's monday!"

:)